Miley Cyrus is 17 years old, so it makes sense that she hasn’t exactly figured out the whole dating game. Or, you know, not-game. The unfortunate  thing about that is that she makes statements to the press about her boyfriend Liam Hemsworth like, “I think when you’re trying to play it cool and you’re like, ‘Oh, I won’t text back for like the next hour,’ that’s when you know it’s more serious. You have no idea how many times I was like, ‘Oh he called. I’m not going to call back tomorrow.’ When it gets confusing and you’re over thinking it, you must really like someone.”

At the press junket for her movie The Last Song, Miley talked about her co-star turned boyfriend quite a bit. She also said, “My parents are a little loco. We have five [kids] and my mom and my dad and my grandma plus like my 10,000 dogs – so if you love me after you see my lifestyle then you’re good. You’re a keeper.”

I don’t know if anyone’s taking dating advice and life tips from Miley Cyrus, but let me throw this out there to those who are considering it: If you’re playing games with a guy so that he thinks you’re cool, you don’t really like him. Or rather, you’re terrified of finding out that he doesn’t like you. Most classic mistake in the game. And don’t call your parents “loco” in an interview when you’re 17. It makes you look like a spoiled brat.

Says Erin:

I did nothing wrong. The hardest thing is that I still have to say that to people… I still had to say that yesterday on the court steps — you know, ‘How can you do this?’ ‘How did you feel it was OK to go on with your life?’ You turn the tables on them and say, ‘Because what did I do? What did I do wrong?’

Jesus Christ, are there still people in this world who tell victims of sexual predators that it’s their own fault?

“It’s not over,” she says. “It’s not going to be over, but this is the first step.”

Props to you for keeping your head up through all this, Erin. What a fucking nightmare.

Now, more importantly — how excited is everyone for this season of Dancing with the Stars???

“That distracts from what you do and what you work really hard at which is our movies, our television shows. It’s almost like another job that you have not chosen to be a part of. It’s like a soap opera that you did not sign up for.”

- Jennifer Aniston continues to not understand the majority of her appeal.

We’ve pretty much always seen Katherine Heigl with the same sunny blonde ‘do, so it’s strange to see these photos of the actress lunching in LA with a much darker mop. Personally, I don’t hate the look but I think Katherine always looks best as a blonde, maybe even with a little bit of red. She definitely looks more like a mommy, though.

Kirstie Alley went on the Today Show to promote her new television show and weight loss line and things didn’t go exactly as plan. In fact, it turned out to be just another example of a member of the Church of Scientology going batshit when asked about their religion.

A very slurry Kirstie explained that the there was absolutely no connection between her weight loss program and the church of Scientology and that confusion about their involvement springs from the fact that Kirstie’s accountant is a “Scientology Jew”. Whatever that means.

No, it’s no Tom Cruise impression, but it’s also not exactly sane looking either. When will Scientology train their celebrity members how to talk about their religion in a way that doesn’t seem like their dodging questions or losing their mind?

Tila Tequila had looked everywhere, but she could not find her pills. ‘I need to take my medication. My happy pills,’ she said, as she pushed aside some of the empty Red Bull cans that were strewn about her Studio City house. She wouldn’t name the medication but explained, ‘Just so much has been going on, my doctor has been giving me stuff to help me cope.’”

- The absolutely enthralling opening paragraph on the LA Times feature on Tila Tequila. It’s a must-read, folks. Meet you back here in 20 to talk about it.