This whole Jesse James cheating scandal is turning out to be so much worse than I would have ever imagined. First we find out that he allegedly carried on an affair with a “tattoo model” (can you believe that that’s a real job?), then we find out that she’s into some Nazi shit, and now we find out that Jesse may be linked to the whole White Supremacy movement himself.

From Crushable.com:

Jesse also reportedly has white power connections through his ex-wife, porn star Janine Lindemulder. She is currently married to Jeremy Aikman, who is said to be “an admitted skinhead”. Aikman goes by the name “Lefty” on his MySpace page (which is private), and his last status update on Wednesday said, “What goes around comes around.” Could that be a dig against Jesse?

Lastly, some have pointed to this logo of Jesse’s company, West Coast Choppers, as further proof of his white supremacist beliefs. It does look at a lot like a German cross used frequently in Nazi art. If all this is true, we’d bet some of his tattoos are also in some way connected to white power.

If the cheating (which probably happened) and the Nazi ties (which I think are likely exaggerated in terms of Jesse’s involvement), then America’s image of their Sweetheart and her rough and tumble biker husband being the perfect “opposites attract” couple is going to crumble quick.

I find this whole thing to be very disheartening. Tiger Woods was surprising in a totally different way. I would think after switching from a porn star to one of Hollywood’s most beloved and wholesome starlets, Jesse would have shaken the whole “I like trashy broads” thing. Sad.

In real life, Lindsay Lohan did not rescue 40 child workers.  It must have been a drug-induced hallucination or whatever, but as it stands, she might be banned from India.  You go, girl.  [Celebslam]

Whitney Houston looks much better … when she’s airbrushed.  [popbytes]

Rachel McAdams to star in The Orphanage reboot?  [Pajiba]

Tom Cruise wants a son to pass along his poisoned gene pool.   [Celebitchy]

Reese Witherspoon hooking up with a guy and without checking out a Wiki, I don’t even know who he is. [Amy Grindhouse]

Coco loves “boobies”, likes taking home other women to please Ice-T. [cityrag]

Jesse James’ newest garden tool is bummed that she only received $30k for her side of the story.  [Pop on the Pop]

Joslyn James is still ridick, still trying to gain another iota of fame.  [Zelda Lily]

After on-again, off-again rumors of her split with boyfriend Jason Trawick, Britney Spears is looking a little worse for the wear.  She was spotted recently donning a wife-beater, pantaloons (if that’s even what they’re called … I haven’t seen anyone wearing anything like that since I visited that whorehouse in the Old West in 1864) and sheer pantyhose.

Girlfriend’s weave is all askew and she’s properly sporting her famed, crazy-pants bright red lipstick in the gallery photos.  Oh, and orange soda, too. Sweet.

She definitely seems to be bumming about something, but I don’t know if it’s the faux-digs by Ke$ha or her alleged split-but-not-split with Trawick. Crazy or not, I love this bitch and her braless, side-drifting nipple – Team Brit FTW!

Penelope Cruz sure has a reason to celebrate these days, and I’m not just talking because she’s one of the most gorgeous women I’ve ever seen — Cruz gets to reprise a side-by-side role starring with Johnny Depp in the latest edition of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. Reps for both Cruz and the Pirates franchise have finally confirmed that the actress will take a lead in the upcoming movie.

The flick goes by title Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides and is slated to hit theaters sometime in 2011. According to the film’s IMDB, the only returning characters will be Depp and Geoffrey Rush, who plays Barbosa. Reps for Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley have confirmed that neither will return for the fourth Pirates edition.

Naturally, Cruz will be a minor love interest for Depp’s character, Jack Sparrow, and I really couldn’t be more pleased. If these two are anything like the way they presented themselves in Blow, we’re going to have a hard time concentrating on the movie’s plot — the chemistry between two of the hottest people in Hollywood, steaming up the Caribbean will be enough of a distraction itself.

I’ve always been a fan of Penelope Cruz and her acting and philanthropic ways, even if she did date that other, psycho “Cruise” and I wish her luck in her latest cinema endeavor.

Nadya Suleman has a guardian angel out there somewhere and he goes by the title of “Porn King.” She’s currently in the process of losing her home due to a multitude of unpaid mortgage payments and faces the reality that she and her forty-seven kids will be out on the street if she doesn’t take it up the something doesn’t give.

Steven Hirsch, president of Vivid Entertainment (which produces skin flicks that some of the most “prestigious” Hollywood starlets have starred in … y’know, like Shauna Sand), has evidently gotten ahold of Octo-Mom and offers to pay the back payments and balance on her home if she, in exchange, stars in a feature “film.”

Octo-Mom has a price on her head that’s about to expire — tomorrow afternoon. According to the bank that holds the loan on her home, if she doesn’t pay up the $460k by close of business Tuesday, she’s out of a home.

You know, it’s sad and stuff that she’s facing permanent eviction and the possibility of bankruptcy, but I still don’t think the world’s ready for Octo-porn.

Thank God this guy didn’t have Ed McMahon’s number when his number was up. I couldn’t imagine Ed McMahon porn, but it might be better than Nadya Suleman porn, at any rate.

This weekend was my last weekend as an editor here at Evil Beet. Sarah will be taking over the heady responsibility of providing you with your weekend celebrity gossip fix. The job is in good hands.

I can hardly believe it’s been a year (almost to the day) since I took over the job of weekend editor. In that time, I’ve learned much from my fellow editors and authors– Wendy and Molls– and have felt truly privileged to have been able to work for the brilliant Beet herself, Miss Sasha Pasulka. I owe them all a debt of gratitude.

However, I owe the greatest share of thanks to you– the readers of this site– not just for putting up with my spelling errors, but for providing me with the overwhelming experience of having an actual audience. Until I took this job, writing was a very personal, intimate endeavor for me. I always put a part of myself in my best writing, and before Evil Beet, always felt embarrassed showing my work to anyone else, lest they criticize it, and by extension me. Through both kind encouragement and eviscerating castigation, you’ve certainly broken me of that!

I’m not sure exactly what my future holds, but I think it’s safe to say that I will continue to write, although in what capacity I’m not yet certain. For the time being, I am content simply to take a few month’s worth of weekends to play a shit ton of video games and dance myself silly at a shit ton of parties.

See ya around, internet. Take care of yourself.