Radar Online has gotten an exclusive interview with the one person you could probably give a rat’s ass less about:  Simon Monjack.  From he get-go, this tool seemed to have a sick obsession with his late wife, Brittany Murphy, and wanted nothing more than to suck her soul, talent — and money.

However, Monjack claims that although he received “six-figure” offers from other media outlets to be allowed inside the house and to grimly view the “death room”, he’s refused because he claims that it isn’t about money.

In the interview, Monjack speaks softly and gesticulates with a cigar stub around the bathroom, where he claimed that Murphy had a “penchant” for cosmetics, as you can clearly see from the clutter in the video and photo images.   Monjack states that this particular viewing of the bathroom was his first since Murphy died in late December.

Despite my personal aversions to this guy and unless he’s a very talented actor — which I’m thinking no — you can tell he’s still completely devastated by Murphy’s death. Regardless, whether or not he’s been paid for these interviews and whether he knowingly solicited the attention that he’s garnered as a result of Murphy’s demise aside, it still seems an oddly morbid and voyeuristic thing to do in showing the bathroom of death on a national broadcast.

You can watch the “infamous bathroom” interview in its entirety here and you can view the discussion regarding where the Monjack/Murphy relationship was allegedly heading [Spoiler: It had to do with kids.] here.

And by “classy”, I mean she actually cares about people, doesn’t have photographs of her labia floating around and isn’t throwing jars of rancid urine at her fans.

An assistant of Underwood’s was killed this past weekend in a crash and at Miss Universe’s latest show, she dedicated her song, “Temporary Home” to the victim and his family.

There’s really nothing negative I can say about this chick surprisingly, which doesn’t necessarily make her disinteresting to me — it just makes her admirable.

My condolences go out to the driver’s family and hope that they, like Carrie’s aptly named tour, can eventually “Play On.”

We are so totally bummed that the phenomenal Kelly Hays has decided to leave the team here at Evil Beet. I couldn’t possibly have been more impressed with her during the year she’s worked here. If I tried to write a post about everything that’s exceptional about Kelly as a writer, there wouldn’t be room for anything else on this site. She is whip-smart and hilarious and a delight to work with. She will be missed terribly, but I know we all look forward to reading whatever next emerges from that spectacular brain of hers. Thank you, Kelly, for giving up your weekends for a year to share your talent with us.

The very talented Sarah Spangenberg will be filling in for Kelly’s weekend spot in the short term. In the long term, Sarah is going to join the (also very talented) Molls on the weekday writing tip. We’re excited to have her writing regularly here on the Beet.

What this means? We’re going to be hiring a new weekend writer. Hooray! There will be more details about the gig and how to apply later in this week, so stay tuned. (And please don’t apply right now. Seriously, don’t. Just stay tuned. I’ll tell you when to apply, I promise.)

You see how Tiger ended up, don’t you?  Tcha.  Come on.

Duhamel wants to make sure that there’re no kids in the picture while he’s still porking other women, ’cause that doesn’t set a good “family example” naturally.

Nah, but really … Josh Duhamel recently sat down for an interview with People magazine where he was asked the obligatory-just-married question of whether or not he and Fergie are going to pump out a litter of kids in the next few hours or so.  Duhamel stated that he does, indeed, want Fergie’s children, but not anytime soon.

The 37 year-old actor and his wife, Stacy “Fergie” Ferguson, are apparently not getting any younger … and he’s not getting any better looking, either, so maybe that means he’ll start reining in that trouser snake of his a little bit more and y’know, settle down some more.  After that, maybe, just maybe, they’ll be able to consider children.  One step at a time, guys, one step at a time.

And if mine eyes do not deceive me, Fergie looks absolutely slamming in this photo.  On second thought, Josh, you better get up on that baby train before Fergie sucks the remaining lifeblood out of you, before you do end up looking more like the Cryptkeeper and before she does leave your philandering at-a-loss-for-words ass.

Creep.

Evidently, she was kinda responsible for the drunk-driving death of a friend way back in 2004 when she, herself, was a minor.  Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi had a basement party, which during said party, a friend by the name of MichaelTruncali, drank himself into oblivion and decided to take the old road home.

Unfortunately for Michael and his family, he didn’t make it home.  The Marlboro High School senior’s blood alcohol level was .18 — more than twice the legal limit in New York — and had rolled his car in the early hours of Thanksgiving morning after “drinking heavily” at Snooki’s house party.

Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi was charged with Prohibited Sale of Alcoholic Beverages – Snooki had evidently been charging per cup — and she reportedly did her community service, paid her fine and ate the charges. Polizzi’s mother, who was apparently at home during the party, was questioned regarding the incident and although she was the adult in attendance, she received no warnings and no lawful repercussions.

I do kind of feel bad for Snooki.  Naturally, I feel worse for the crash victim’s family, but he obviously did that himself.  On one side, Snooki’s got to live with this knowledge for the rest of her life and that can’t be easy, but yet she continuously glorifies binge drinking on the set of the Jersey Shore … Her actions are kind of speaking a little bit louder than her words; it’s awfully hard to hear the scream of the trees in the forest while you’re cutting them down, am I right?

Too bad they didn’t waste the freak.

According to family friends, Spector “mouthed off” to the wrong inmate and ended up with a busted nose, bruised face and lost a few teeth during the battle of epic proportions.

While Spector’s current wife — who could be his granddaughter, incidentally — claims that he was not, in fact, beaten up in prison, his attorney claims that Spector’s always had a mouth on him and it’s hardly surprising that he ends up taking one to the kisser, in one way or another.

Normally I’d be appalled at someone beating the snot out of a 70 year-old, but this is Phil Spector we’re talking about here. However, fear not, Spector supporters: it’s reported that he’ll be just fine.

Spector went into the fight with both guns blazing; just ask the inmate in question.  Even he’ll tell you that Spector did it to himself. Hand the gun to a fool and he’ll surely shoot his mistress himself in the foot.