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13If You Can Believe This, Naomi Campbell Hit Someone

Yeah, so, Naomi Campbell smacked some driver in NYC upside the head today. Then she fled the scene, because she’s all class like that. Here’s the run-down:

A man hired to drive Naomi Campbell told police the supermodel assaulted him from the back seat of a luxury SUV on Tuesday before hopping out and running away.

Police were looking to speak with Campbell, who is known for her feisty temper, and were weighing whether to charge her.

A spokesman for Campbell, who has previously pleaded guilty to assaulting people hired to work for her, said she’ll cooperate with police. “There shouldn’t be a rush to judgment,” spokesman Jeff Raymond said. “Naomi will cooperate voluntarily, and there is more to the story than meets the eye.”

The driver, whose name wasn’t immediately released, told police he pulled the black Cadillac Escalade over in midtown Manhattan after Campbell hit him from behind and his head struck the steering wheel, causing bruising under his right eye. He spoke to a traffic agent, who alerted police. Campbell was not at the scene when officers arrived, police said.

I love how, whenever shit like this goes down, the PR flacks for these celebrities immediately issue statements that “there’s more to this than meets the eye.” In this case, it’s especially hilarious, because the only obvious thing to meet the eye is the steering wheel of this dude’s SUV after Naomi Campbell physically assaulted him. Like, what’s the part of this we don’t understand? The part where the driver took a wrong turn and there was no absolutely no alternative other than to hit him? Because if we don’t hit the help when they make a mistake, how are they supposed to learn? You guys should have seen my housekeeper after she put a fork in the spoon compartment of my silverware drawer. Suffice it to say she will never make that mistake again. (Also, if you can think of an animal bite that looks like a fork stab, please contact me asap. It’s important.)

I don’t feel like I really need to run down all of Naomi’s past employee assaults for you guys. You read celebrity gossip blogs. If you have questions, all you need to do is parse through the expansive “Legal Issues” section of her Wikipedia page.

March 2, 2010 at 6:10 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Naomi Campbell

13 Responses to “If You Can Believe This, Naomi Campbell Hit Someone”

  1. E says:

    Well… that was the best thing I’ve read all day :) You crack me the eff up.

  2. Sara says:

    Yeah, this was really funny.

  3. blah says:

    When is someone going to turn around and smack her? I’ve heard that when toddlers start going through that biting stage, the best thing to do is bite them back so they know how much it hurts. Maybe someone should give her a good smack and that will make her stop.

    Yeah, I know it won’t either, but it WOULD be good for the gossip blogs.

  4. XYP says:

    Lock her up and throw the key. This “woman” is 100% mental.

  5. Alzaetia says:

    I’ve missed funny posts. This is good stuff.

  6. Grace Jones says:

    Naomi needs a bitch like me to teach her a lesson. Or someone even more “around-the-way” like a bitch from South London (her hood) that doesn’t give a fuck and will beat her ass in jail. I don’t think Naomi’s ever gotten more than a few hours of jail time (if that), and all the community service in the world isn’t going to teach this raging bitch a lesson. A serious beat-down is in order. Then she’ll learn because obv bitch barks loud but isn’t that hard- she ran out the car like a bitch after hitting that dude in the head? Wow. I just want her to say some shit to Pink or Vivica Fox- homegirl’s nappy-ass weave would be ALL over the place. Then she’d think twice before doing this shit again.

    • Vchilds says:

      *heehee* Good rant Grace!

    • Now You Happy? says:

      Your reply would have been so much better if you’d just found a way to use the word ‘bitch’ for emphasis here and there. Not that I’m bitching, mind you, just trying to make you the queen bitch of this site.

      • Grace Jones says:

        haha. considering i used the word “bitch” 5 times in my paragraph that was 3x as long as yours and you used it 3 times in your short two sentences, i don’t really see your point…perhaps you shd cut down on the use of the word too. but thanks for that compliment on me being the queen bitch- ‘preciate ‘cha.

      • Now You Happy? says:

        So you really are an ignorant bitch, huh grace? Even Hellen Keller would have realized my reply was pointing out the fact that you think you’re hip by using the word bitch. I love how you love to be “all black and shit” when you want to, but then fall back on the “I didn’t grow up that way” bullshit line. Youre a fucking fake, white or black. Bitch.

  7. Anne says:

    Heh-heh. That made me laugh.
    And I agree with Blah and Grace Jones.

  8. Naomi Campbell was a Trending Topic on Twitter today http://bit.ly/bfjwXC What a hot-tranny-mess!

  9. Monica says:

    i LOVE that dress!
    is it an Alexander McQueen?

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