As I told you yesterday, Michael Jackson’s kids paid tribute to their father last night at the Grammys with a speech and then accepted his lifetime achievement award. Unfortunately, young Blanket became overwhelmed moments before he was supposed to go on stage, and he hung back while Prince Michael and Paris went out to accept the award.

There’s nothing to snark about here. Say whatever you will about Michael Jackson, those little munchkins up there were his kids. They’re children. And they are also incredibly brave. To stand in front of a room full of celebrities after living a fairly guarded life and losing everything you’ve ever known in one under a year… that’s quite courageous. Also, it was comforting. By all accounts these kids seem normal, smart, well-spoken and interesting. Paris Jackson is gorgeous. These seem like loved, well taken care of kids and I hope that they’re doing OK.

Aw, you guys love it when we talk about Roman Polanski. OK, let’s do this!

Ever since Roman Polanski has started to be held accountable for drugging and sodomizing a 13-year old girl and then running from the law for several decades, many celebrities and filmmakers have come out in his support. In fact, it’s gotten to the point where people are not only boycotting Polanski, but they’re boycotting the people that are boycotting his arrest. I’m sad to say this, but you can add Johnny Depp to the list of people who don’t “get” why someone would go to jail/be accountable for child rape.

The actor spoke to The Independent about his opinion of Polanski, whom he worked with him on the 1999 film The Ninth Gate. Not only does he think that Polanski doesn’t deserve to be serving time, but he thinks that “something fishy” must be going on. He said, “Why now? Obviously there is something going on somewhere. Somebody has made a deal with someone. Maybe there was a little money involved, but why now?” Because maybe another decade would have been too long? IDK!

He continues on to make a completely pointless argument for the director’s freedom: “Roman is not a predator. He’s 75 or 76 years old. He has got two beautiful kids, he has got a wife that he has been with for a long, long time. He is not out on the street.” But that’s not the problem! No one thinks he’s raping his kids or out doing psychedelic drugs at Jack Nicholson’s house! It wouldn’t have mattered if Ted Kazinski moved to a luxury high-rise in the heart of Downtown Chicago, right? He’s still be the crazy man who used to live in the woods and make bombs and like, kill people.

I hate to even bring this up because it just feels tired, but if celebrities are going to so boldly defend Roman Polanski because they love his work, then they need to apply the same attitude to Michael Jackson or anyone with an unsavory past who did great work. But they can’t. People say they love Michael and then make a face when his molester-status gets mentioned, but Polanski spoken about like a God. There’s no shame in these people loving him, and that’s what’s so concerning.

I didn’t have the eleven hours it would take to watch the Grammys yesterday, so I’ve been catching up on the performances online. Overall, everyone was fine but there were a couple that really stood out to me.

Everyone knows I am probably the world’s biggest non-homosexual Beyonce fan. I worship her, and so not only am I forgiving of the fact that she skipped a few words during her cover of “You Oughtta Know”, but I’m not “No duh she skipped words! She was running around like a maniac and head-banging and actually singing!” I would expect a perfect performance of that song from someone who either doesn’t dance or doesn’t sing, but Beyonce does it all. In fact, the moments where she took a breath were the only moments when I took a breath, so thank God she did or I’d be missing even more braincells today.

But I wasn’t entirely pleased with Bey’s performance. I have never cared for “If I Was a Boy” and would have way rather seen her perform “Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)” again.

Then Gaga. We gotta talk about Gaga. I keep thinking that I am seriously over her. I thought to myself last night “The only way that bitch is going to shock me tonight is if she comes out barefoot, refers to herself as Stephanie, and just sings a damn song while sitting on a stool.” That would be truly shocking, right? But I have to admit, there’s something about that tranny. She’s watchable. And she puts on a show.

Although, c’mon. Did she look a little bit like Marilyn Manson in the face during her performance or what?

This was some very brilliant and creative fashion. I loved it. I feel like the yellow wig is actually attached to the costume. I dunno. But it’s easy to look at shit like this and be like “Oh, there’s Lady Gaga wearing something insane,” without really appreciating the talent and vision and creativity that goes into putting together a look like this. Props to Team Gaga for tonight. It’s very sci-fi fairy princess. The shoes are just a giant mind-fuck. The whole thing’s an MC Escher painting come to life. Love it, love it.

I have to say, this year’s Grammys was the best awards show I’ve seen in a really long time. It reminded me of the VMAs long ago, back when they were a showcase of creative genius and true musical talent and not a platform for Kanye West to embarrass himself annually while the MTV execs cackle with glee over how often this obnoxious, “unplanned” clip is going to be replayed on the nightly news.

The show went smoothly and tastefully. I thought nearly all the performances were mind-blowing — oddly enough, my least favorite was my beloved Taylor Swift’s. I think she just didn’t stand a chance up there compared to some of the most seasoned performers in the world. But she maybe didn’t have to be so flat, either. And, as much as I adore the girl, she probably didn’t deserve album of the year. Like, really, that should have gone to Beyonce or Lady Gaga. Taylor’s great, but that wasn’t the best album released this year. I’m not sure how that happened. I was rooting for Anyone But DMB, so I win regardless.

Here are some more general thoughts:

- Nicole Kidman deserves an honorary mention on the “In Memoriam” section. She looks like she died at least once last year.

- Why were the people in the audience wearing the 3D glasses? Like, Celine Dion was actually singing in front of them.

- I was excited that Beyonce performed that bit from “You Oughtta Know,” but was disappointed that they did that without actually involving Alanis Morrissette. I was also a little disappointed that Beyonce flubbed half the lyrics. Like, seriously, who can’t recite the words to “You Oughtta Know” in their sleep by now? You oughtta know those words, B.

- However, Beyonce Knowles is a phenomenally talented woman. And if you didn’t already know that, she was gonna make damn sure you knew it after tonight. Well-played, B.

- Did anyone else feel like Pink borrowed a little tiny bit from Tori Amos’ “Sugar” during her performance? Or am I making that up? Regardless, the whole thing was genius. GENIUS. It was very much like “HEY I’M PINK AND I’M STILL THE REAL THING, BITCHES.” And I looooved it.

- Hey, remember Norah Jones? No?

Anyway. All the gowns are below. Enjoy. Full list of winners can be found here.