Wayne Newton’s so rich that he leaves his own plane chillin’ out in a hanger — for three years.  [Celebslam]

Kirstie Alley promotes yet another show revolving around her weight-loss battle.  As if.  [popbytes]

Dear John: A romance-genre movie that actually has a valid plot and just might be worth seeing.  [Pajiba]

Jennifer Garner’s about to slap Ben Affleck a bitch.  [Celebitchy]

Tila Tequila’s still pretending that she’s pregnant.  [Litely Salted]

Kristen Stewart’s famously sought-after angst could lose a court security guard his job.  [Allie Is Wired]

David Letterman hires a female staff writer to The Late Show that he is reportedly not sleeping with.  [Zelda Lily]

Misch Misch, can I ask you a question? Are you blazed? I mean, just a few days ago you were looking so fresh and pretty and now you’re looking like your old self. I’m not accusing you of anything, but as a kinda-sorta friend, I want you to know that you can tell me the truth and I’m fine with it. It’s totally fine with me, I don’t care what you do with your life. But you know, if you’re walking around looking like this and you’re not just stoned, I’m going to have to assume that you’re doing smack or something and that’s a horse of a different color (Black? White? Yellow? What color is heroin?) Sure, maybe you’re still just mentally exhausted from having your wisdom teeth removed, but c’mon. You telling me that Ben Sherman bag isn’t actually full of Nilla Wafers and Dave Chapelle DVDs?

“When we were making it, the arguments on set were just amazing about whether mental infidelity is better or worse than physical infidelity. There was a huge gender divide on the question. Every single woman said that mental infidelity is 10 times worse than [an emotionless assignation]. And most men I spoke with said that it’s the physical act that would be the ultimate betrayal.”

- Keira Knightly in the new issue of Elle, on her upcoming film Last Night.

Since we love talking about cheating bastards over here, let me ask you the same question. What’s worse: A physical or emotional affair?

Last night Robin Thicke and Nicki Minaj went to The Late Show with David Letterman to perform his new single from his album Sex Therapy: The Experience (Dave had a funny joke about that.) For a little over a year now I have been completely obsessed with this new female MC. She’s signed to Young Money, Lil Wayne’s label, you’ve probably heard her on the radio in the label’s collaboration Bed Rock. I think she’s pretty much the hottest chick rapper to hit the scene in ages. Not only is she hilarious, but her campy glamor-girl “Barbie” persona is endlessly entertaining. And the girl can rap. After a year of watching Nicki “Nicki Lewinsky” Minaj’s star rise, I had a complete proud fan moment watching this today. What do you think of Miss. Minaj?

P.S. Check out the Nictionary.

OK, well it’s not a lot, but you at least can get a taste for what it will be like when Ellen DeGeneres takes over for Paula Abdul next Tuesday on American Idol. I only saw the Boston auditions from this new season so far and I really really missed Paula, but Ellen could possibly be a hilarious addition to the judges panel. I don’t think Ellen will ever be Simon levels of mean, but she won’t be Paula’s level of nice either. Are you going to be tuning in on Tuesday and what do you think the addition of Ellen will mean for the show?

Paris Hilton was in New York yesterday filming a commercial for the Israeli lottery and it looks like homegirl still thinks she’s living in the mid-00s. The hair, the big-ass bag, the leopard coat, the cheap-looking expensive dresses… Hasn’t she been doing this bit for like, years now? Sure, sure… it’s Paris’ Barbie-like persona that made America start to care about her (the sex tape sealed the deal, of course) but girl, it’s time for a reinvention. As far as I’m concerned, if she didn’t seem to have gained a little bit of  healthy weight over the years, these might as well be promotional photos from The Simple Life 3.