“To John Mayer regarding black women: What’s not to like?”

- Film critic Roger Ebert asks John Mayer what we were all thinking on Twitter.

It’s not news that PETA uses some pretty immature tactics to get across their pro-animal/anti-fur message, but I am shocked by some of the statements they made about the stars who topped their Worst Dressed List this year. Basically, all you had to do to be a contender is wear fur or skins and so, as you can imagine, real fashion experts probably wouldn’t put these women on any such list.

PETA talked to Access Hollywood about their rankings and gave statements on each person who made the list. While they aren’t exactly the rudest things I’ve ever read (that would be pretty hard to do), they certainly didn’t sound too professional. Here’s a run down:

On their #1 Worst Dressed, Catherine Zeta-Jones: “With her creepy cow-skin pants, ugly fox coat, and icky alligator bag, Catherine Zeta-Jones looks like she’s working her way through Noah’s ark with a knife. Maybe she’s trying to get into character for an upcoming role as a serial killer — or a taxidermist.”

On Kate Hudson: “Kate, there’s no easier way to lose a guy in 10 days than by wearing a hairball. Maybe your furs are the reason why A-Rod ran for home.”

On Jill Zarin: “This ‘Real Housewife’ lives in the Big Apple, and her furry fashion sense is rotten to the core.”

They also said that Jessica Simpson’s clothing is as dead as her acting career and called out J.Lo for her “corpse coats”. Look, I don’t think that wearing fur is right, but attacking people’s careers and love lives to make a point about their clothing choices? Whack and kind of pointless if you ask me. And I say that as someone who makes a living being a jerk.

Uhhh, so this is awkward, but how hot does Dakota Fanning look in Vogue? I know, I know, she’s like 17 and we pant like dogs at chicks this age or younger regularly, but Dakota! We’ve known her since she was a child! It’s bizarre to see her all grown up, free of any kid-to-adult actor awkwardness that we usually see form stars and more talented than ever. Maybe she’ll get a little wild once she’s out of high school, but I think that Dakota’s almost in the clear in terms of becoming another young Hollywood train wreck.

I know that airlines are being jerks about how much their passenger’s luggage weighs, but how much the actual passengers weigh? I didn’t think we were there yet.

Director Kevin Smith had quite the example made of himself on a Southwest flight the other day. He was told, when he was already buckled in to his seat aboard the plane, that his weight was a safety issue and that they’d have to put him on another flight. One outlet that covered the story reported the following:

According to Smith, a flight attendant told him the flight captain had deemed him a safety risk and requested that he leave the flight.

“I broke no regulation, offered no ‘safety risk,’ (what, was I gonna roll on a fellow passenger?),” he wrote. “I’m way fat… But I’m not THERE just yet.”

Smith’s followers (numbering more than 1.6 million) flooded Twitter with support for the filmmaker and insults for Southwest Airlines’ official Twitter page.

Ugh. I am not exactly crazy about Kevin Smith, but this has to be humiliating for the guy. Do you think that airlines, in order to prevent embarrassments like this in the future, should try to make arrangements for any possible situations like this in advance?

These do absolutely nothing for me, but I’m sure some of you Twilight freaks will be all hot and bothered by these Eclipse stills that have popped up on the Internet today. What’s the deal with these two again? They’re virgins? Do they bone in the book version of this movie? Should I be looking forward to a rash of vampire-obsessed pregnant teens in America within the next year or so?

They always say that the best relationships are the ones where you can really be yourself, so that’s why I gotta give Britney Spears and her man/agent Jason Trawick props. Look at them yesterday at Target. Britney (who’s boobies look a little fake to me here in these pictures, so let me know what you think about that in the comments, please) isn’t even wearing a bra and her weave is still kinda buck looking and yet she and that bro are holding each other’s hands, just enjoying their sunny Saturday. God, I hope that someday I meet a man I can let myself go with.