“He didn’t make me go brunette! John doesn’t get credit for making me brunette. He’d like to think so, but he doesn’t deserve the credit.”

-Jessica Simpson attempts to tell Allure that John Mayer didn’t make dye her hair when they were dating, but I’m not so sure I believe that.

Uh-oh. It was reported during Charlie Sheen’s wife, Brooke Mueller’s first rehab stay that homegirl was there to beat an addiction to crack, but not only did her family deny the claim, but it just sounded fake. Crack? Who the hell does crack that isn’t Whitney Houston or homeless? Well, I guess Brooke Mueller does because she’s back in rehab again and this time the people in Brooke’s life aren’t keeping so quiet.

From Radar:

“Brooke has been in denial about her problem for a long time,” one source close to her told RadarOnline.com.

Brooke checked into rehab last week. She has both an alcohol and a crack addiction problem, and has been treated for both in the past, RadarOnline.com is reporting exclusively.

And then there’s this, also from Radar:

She left North Carolina for Charlie’s court appearance in Colorado and then returned to Los Angeles.

“She went on an all-nighter,” the source said. “She was just out of control.”

Brooke has been boozing heavily and smoking crack for months, according to the source. She was drunk at 8:30 am Christmas when she called 911 and told cops that Charlie held a knife to her throat and threatened to kill her.

Oh, and sadly, this isn’t even the closest she’s come to hitting a wall:

RadarOnline.com reported previously that Brooke was treated for crack addiction around 2001 as an inpatient in a Los Angeles facility.

“She had a bad problem even back then,” one person who knows her said. “She would leave the facility, score drugs, get beat up and wind up in the hospital.”

And the source who is close to her now told RadarOnline.com: “She’s smoking crack and she’s drinking heavily. Everyone around her wanted her to get help.”

Holy crap, you guys! It’s not as if I thought that the woman who married Charlie Sheen was going to be totally sane, but a crack addict?! Ugh. I wish nothing better for Charlie, but this is, of course, a complete tragedy due to the fact that Brooke is a mother. And I hate to say it, but do you think somewhere out there, this pleases Denise Richards to no end?

Damn, son. Check out Christina Hendricks aka Joan from Mad Men on the most recent cover of New York Magazine. Not only is Christina a favorite female star amongst women because of her sexy style and healthy, voluptuous body, but pretty much every guy I know would stab someone in the face just to touch one of her boobs once for a half a second. Christina told the magazine that the attention her body got was a little bit much for her at first and said, “It kind of hurt my feelings at first. Anytime someone talks about your figure constantly, you get nervous, you get really self-conscious. I was working my butt off on the show, and then all anyone was talking about was my body!”

Um, can you blame them?

It was just announced that Chynna Phillips, sister to Mackenzie and Bijou, has checked in the rehab for anxiety. As if it doesn’t sound fishy enough when a celeb checks in to the ‘hab for exhaustion or hoarding, right? Chynna’s husband though, actor Billy Baldwin, doesn’t really care what you think. In an interview with Radar, Billy sets the record straight about his wife’s treatment. Here are some choice quotes:

“It doesn’t really matter to me what’s being said about me in the press. I have too many other things to worry about. I don’t care about what other people think. I care about my wife and my children.”

“I don’t feel like dealing with the press when I’ve got my wife in rehab and I’ve got three little kids.”

OK, fair enough. There are kids involved, and so I will back off of Billy for those weak statements. Chynna’s step mom is the only one who gave up any real dirt. She told Radar, “If I know Chynna, she will be fine. If anything sent her to get help, it  was most likely family problems but I know she will get through it.”

I personally don’t find anxiety to be even close to the most absurd reason I’ve heard of celebs rehabbing. As a person who suffers from anxiety herself, I can tell you that it is far from a treat. In fact, chronic anxiety and anxiety attacks are probably some of those worst things to be afflicted with. Also, we can’t forget who it is who’s claiming she’s anxious. Chynna Phillips publicly defended her late father against her sister Mackenzie’s recent incest claims, an experience that would be tragic for any family, but especially hard for one in the spotlight.

At this point, I think we just need to wait until a post-rehab Chynna sits down with Barbara Walters or something.

Fashion Week has been such a snore this year that I really haven’t been covering it much, but there are always a few moments that are worth an instant replay. This week’s highlight thus far has definitely been model Agyness Deyn eating dirt at Naomi Campbell’s fashion show for Haiti. What is it about watching models fall that’s so damn fun? Is it as simple as the fact that it’s gratifying to watch someone who is seemingly perfect fall on their face? I think so.

Did you guys catch the last episode of Family Guy? If not, check out the clip above. It’s a scene where Chris goes on a date with a mentally retarded girl, who uhhhh, kinda sorta happens to be the daughter of a former Alaskan governor? While Sarah Palin’s name is never mentioned, an animated retarded girl claiming that her mother is a former Alaskan governor is a pretty clear jab.

The subject of Sarah’s son Trig’s downs syndrome has been in the news quite a bit. It’s unfortunate that Sarah Palin is so disliked, and I say that only because her mentally handicapped child is a target of meanies and people with grade-school senses of humor. Don’t get me wrong, I hate that woman too, but as if we really needed to give people another reason to use the word “retarded” as a pejorative, right? I can’t say I’m guilt-free, I occasionally use the word myself (I blame my suburban Massachusetts upbringing, sad to say. I heard the words “wicked retarded” far too many times as a youngster), but I know it’s wrong and feel incredible guilt when I do use the word. Normally I think Family Guy can be pretty spot-on with their topical humor (or at least gut-bustingly funny in a slightly cheap way),  but this feels like it’s going a bit too far and perhaps pandering to the wrong audience. What do you think?