I think it’s a safe bet to make that Tiger Woods probably won’t be discussing golf during his first press conference tomorrow since the shit hit the fan this past Thanksgiving.  [Celebslam]

Lady Gaga looks like she’s promoting Tim Burton’s latest flick, reboot of Alice in Wonderland.  [Popbytes]

10 Most Famous Canadian celebrities … I’m pleased to say that Rachel McAdams has made the list.  She is the hotness.  [Pajiba]

Lindsay Lohan “cracked out” again.  And no, I don’t mean she’s back with Samantha Ronson.  [Celebitchy]

“Don’t want no short-short man”:  Most common reason for condom failure? Men are buying condoms too large for their wank.  [Zelda Lily]

Guess Jersey Shore‘s J-Woww and Snooki won’t be getting matching “GuidoLyf” tattoos anytime soon after this.  [Litely Salted]

16 year-old Ali Lohan is looking more like a washed-up, 40 year-old version of Dita Von Teese these days.  [Allie Is Wired]

Kelly Osbourne looks damn-near amazing.  [Amy Grindhouse]

The episode opens in reverse: The girls return from their Santa Barbara trip and call attention to their plethora of bruises…we the viewers are lost. What caused these bruises? Where is everyone? Who am I? Before we can answer…it starts back at the beginning. Thanks Oxygen for going all Tarantino on us.

Flo’s gone and Kate returns from the hospital, apparently de-swined. They rip Flo’s picture off the wall and rejoice by throwing it in the pool, as Amber says “to metaphorically drown her”…I think she was trying to make a clever allusion to her and Flo’s epic pool fight…I think.

Natalie wants to have fun with her little “monster” and takes Kendra to get a new weave…a $500 weave. When Natalie plays with her toys, I guess she goes big or goes home. Wait. This doll paid for it herself. Best toy EVER! Kendra claims she’s fully aware of Natalie’s presumed intentions and “won’t be played!” Yet, she does absolutely nothing about it.

With new hair in TOE…hahaha, Natalie and Kendra invite some new man-meat over to devour. But for once the girls’ conversations with the aforementioned man-meat is not gold-digging, or booty-gettin’, but almost more in the tone of yearning for a soul-mate. What an appropriate follow-up to Valentine’s day.

(more…)

What did you do yesterday? Probably dropped the kids off at school, worked all day, drove home, made dinner, made sure your brats did their homework and then sometime after Lost, passed out from a long day? Figures. Want to know how Mischa Barton spent the majority of her Tuesday? With her ass parked in a salon chair because she was “going blonde”. The girl spent eight hours with her hairstylist yesterday lightening her locks and probably doing what she loves best, staring blankly. There was one sign of karmic payback for living life like a stoned slug, though: Mischa came back to her car after her day of beauty only to be greeted by a ticket on her windshield.

“Was I satisfied? Yeah, well… I mean, I come from a world where I’m not on covers and I’m not in magazines at all. And so I was happy to be in the magazine. At first I thought, ‘Hmm, should I be there? Then I very quickly got over it. I think if I were a part of that shoot I would have felt a little left out anyway. I would have felt a little like… whether or not I should have been there. [It] doesn’t matter, because I wasn’t on it and I’m excited to be mentioned anywhere, and it doesn’t matter to me where I’m not mentioned.”

- Precious star Gabourey Sidibe explaining to Access Hollywood why she wasn’t upset that she was left out of the obnoxiously white front cover of Vanity Fair‘s Young Hollywood issue.

When most chicks become single for the first time in a long time, they go out of their way to try and get a dick upgrade. What’s the point of divorcing your loser husband if you’re going to go out and date even bigger losers than him, right? Well, Avril don’t play that, you guys. In fact, she plays the opposite game and she plays it really hard because now she’s rumored to be dating one the biggest douches on the planet, Brody Jenner. A source told E! News about the couple, “They’re hooking up, but they’re keeping it low-key. You can tell they’re into each other and both like to have a good time. They’re cute together.”

Let me get this straight: Avril was married to the guy from Sum41 who looks like Sam, the World’s Ugliest Dog for most of her early 20s, then she moved on to Brandon Davis (ugh, can you even imagine?) and now she’s dating Brody Jenner. While I will say that Brody’s probably the best looking out of all of them, he’s also probably the most soulless. And he’s on The Hills. For a living.

I’m thinking that Avril has low self-esteem. I don’t know how else to explain this. As annoying as her persona may be, she’s a pretty talented singer and she was a pretty big star a few years back. I would think she could at least score with a dude on an ABC Family show or something. My advice to her would be to take a break from men and go get her groove/sense of self-worth back.

A week after beloved fashion designer Alexander McQueen’s suicide was announced, we now know how he did it. The British coroner’s office responsible for investigating Alexander’s death has announced that he hung himself. The coroner also reported that a note was found at the scene, but that the details of the note will not be released.

I’m almost afraid to admit that my first thought upon hearing this news was that maybe he got the idea from his ultimate muse, Lady Gaga, who dramatically hung herself on stage at the VMAs earlier this year. I am sure that’s not the case, but it is an eerie coincidence.