Today's Evil Beet Gossip

You’d Think 22 Grand Would Mean More to an Unemployed Drug Addict

Lindsay Lohan was all smiles at LAX yesterday despite having just been issued a fine for 22-thousand dollars by an airline just a few days earlier. See, Lindsay was supposed to be some 77 year old millionaire’s date to the Vienna Opera Ball but she ran two hours late to the airport because she was too busy shopping. The airline held the plane for her, which I didn’t even know was legal, but slapped her with the hefty fine. Lindz wound up canceling on her geriatric John because she’s classy like that.

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  • As much as I would, admittedly, love to be on an airplane with Lindsay Lohan, I would be so annoyed if I had to sit an wait for her for 2 hours and then have her cancel. People have places to go. The airline shouldn’t have waited.

  • You can’t pay a fee to purposefully delay the scheduled departure time of a fucking jumbo jet full of passengers on an international flight. The time and flight path has to be logged, there are connections to be made at the other end, there are hundreds of other passengers to take into account… are you a moron? – who fact checks this shit?

  • Lindsay Lohan: Richard? Richard? Lindsay here.
    Richard Lugner: Ah, Lindsay, gut to hear from you!
    Lindsay: Ah, Richard, I have a slight problem.
    Richard: You, have a problem? I don’t believe it! What is happening?
    Lindsay: Well, Richard I went shopping before the BA flight to Heathrow, and one thing led to another, and I missed the flight.
    Richard: Oh, I’m so sorry. What happened.
    Lindsay: It’s so embarrassing… They have this Duty Free shop at LAX…
    Richard: Duty Free shop?
    Lindsay: Yes, you can buy stuff and have it delivered to your destination without paying those really high taxes on the stuff.
    Richard: Ist das so? They have stuff you can’t get here in Wien?
    Lindsay: Yes, they have so much stuff there in the shop. Perfumes, cigs, alcohol. Why there must be dozens of really neat items that caught my eye.
    Richard: I see… Lindsay?
    Lindsay: And well, I go there an hour before the flight and I just sort of got caught up in that shop. And a few hours later, well, I just sort of missed the flight.
    Richard: O.K. Lindsay, that’s too bad. I guess it just wasn’t meant for you to be my guest this year.
    Lindsay: I’m sorry Richard, I just sort of ran late there.
    Richard: Well, this was important to me, but evidently not to you, sie egoistisches Weibchen.
    Lindsay: Huh?
    Richard: Nothing. I’ll take care of it. I’ll just pass along some story about how you couldn’t hear any announcements in the Duty Frees shop for several hours and ran up your credit card. And maybe we can put the blame on British Airways. I’ll think of something.
    Lindsay: Richard, I’m sorry it didn’t work out. I have to go, there’s a guy with a camera looking at me.
    Richard: Lindsay, O.K. Until later, auf Wiedersehen.
    Lindsay: Thanks Richard.