Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Everybody’s Hurting For Haiti

Simon Cowell has put together an all-star team to remake R.E.M.’s classic song “Everybody Hurts” to benefit Haiti. The song features everybody who’s not in the upcoming movie Valentine’s Day. In fact, here’s a line-by-line guide of who is singing each lyric, pulled from the YouTube video:

Leona Lewis
When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,

Rod Stewart
When youre sure youve had enough of this life, well hang on

Mariah Carey
Dont let yourself go, cause everybody cries and everybody hurts

Cheryl Cole
Sometimes…. sometimes everything is wrong.

Mika
Now its time to sing along

Michael Buble
When your day is night alone,

Joe McElderry
(hold on, hold on)

Miley Cyrus
If you feel like letting go

James Blunt
If you think youve had too much of this life, well hang on..

Gary Barlow
Cause everybody hurts..

Mark Owen
Take Comfort in your friends

Jon Bon Jovi
Dont throw your hand, oh no

James Morrison
Dont throw your hand.
If you feel like youre alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

Susan Boyle
If youre on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,

Aston Merrygold
When you think youve had too much of this life to…

Marvin Humes
…hang on

Shane Filan
Everybody hurts, sometimes,

Mark Feehily
Everybody cries

Kylie Minogue
And everybody hurts… sometimes

Robbie Williams
And everybody hurts… sometimes, so hold on, hold on

Everyone
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, repeat to fade

The song’s actually pretty good. They were working with great material (if you don’t love R.E.M., you don’t know wassup!), but each artist definitely adds something to the track. I will be purchasing it when it goes up for sale on February 8 at this site or this site or this site. And I suppose it wont really matter if you want to hear the song but don’t have the funds to download it legally, because I can already tell you that every soft-rock, Top 40 and hip hop station will be playing the hell out of this record.

20 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Ouch! “Everybody Hurts” literally painful, it felt like 5 hours rather than 5min. Hip Hop stations will not be playing this shit, they have their own stupid songs to play.

      • She isn’t crazy, she was born with mild retardation due to brain damage she suffered at birth. Find someone else to mock, may I suggest Tila Tequila? Surely she’s done something stupid in the last 2 hours?

  • I am SO SICK of hearing about Haiti. It was cute in the beginning. Like, “Hey, these people need help. Let’s do it!” but now it’s just fucking stupid. The country was shit, it’s gonna be shit again. Their government sucks and some dumbass song or benefit isn’t going to change that.

    Donate to WWF or something. WAY more important.

    • umm.. id rather help dying people than animals right now because the world will always donate to WWF but this is the time to help Haiti..

      but i do agree its been overblown there are so many other countries out there in need.. and no ones hearing bout them

    • Yes, totally agreed. I mean come on, like their country wasn’t pathetic before this happened. My money to WWF, however, would be money well spent. The panda picture on their website is absoultely adorable. Nice comment Emily, took the words out of my mouth.

  • Whoever thought of this shit should be made to collect and bury all the dead still stuck in the rubble.

  • Have not watched the clip yet but must admit am a bit confused that ‘James Morrison’ is singing REM.

  • Hated it. Way too slow and drawn out. And, I must be the only person left on the planet that never heard SuBo sing until I listened to this.

  • The song should have been upbeat, reassuring and loving.. stupid music artists! Haiti has had enough suffering and this is suicidal inducing melody and verse?

  • meh, it does not even compare to the original.
    in fact i kinda think they ruined it with the whole collaborative thing.
    i guess they bank on it selling because of the people who sang it, hell even miley had a few words so that should draw in the tweeners to donate.

    They should have written a new song for all of them to sing, it would have been better and this song just seems kinda mocking of Haiti’s pain when it comes from comfortable America (and or Britain).

    More accurate would have been “everybody hurts, especially you guys.”

  • Everybody hurts… but most especially, my ears do, from hearing this crap. Good cause but the arrangement itself is boring.