Have you guys heard this? This is crazy.

So you know how Gary Coleman went to jail last week for a misdemeanour failure to appear warrant? OK, so he was basically rotting away in jail for a week while his mugshot was making rounds on the web. This mugshot has been everywhere and it’s quite scary and sad. So much so that one Utah business man decided he couldn’t bare the thought of the Diff’rent Strokes actor sitting in a cell anymore and he fronted his bail. Yup, Gary Coleman’s bail was paid by a fan. He even offered the actor a ride home from jail.

Jarrod Clarke of Draper, Utah told Gossip Cop why he decided to throw down the funds to release Gary:

“If you see his mugshot, I mean, what a sad face… To see that he was sitting in there – and he’d been there for 27 hours – and bail was only $1,700, I thought somebody probably ought to do something.”

Gary’s wife immediately called Jarrod to thank him for his generosity and Gary’s back at home awaiting his next court date.

There are a whole list of reasons why this story is beyond sad (why the hell doesn’t Gary Coleman have a measly 17 hundred bucks? Why wouldn’t his wife bail him out?), but let’s just hope that it turns out OK for Jarrod. The guy put himself on the line for someone he grew up loving on TV and if Gary doesn’t show up to his court date, that would be a huge slap in the face.

I am very sad to report that the author of my favorite book of all time (and everyone who went to high school’s favorite book of all time) Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger, has passed away. Salinger, who had been reclusive since roughly 1965, passed away at the age of 91, alone at his home in Cornish, New Hampshire. The fact that he was alone when he died would be much sadder if he had not intended for it to be that way.

As the New York Times points out, a great deal of Salinger’s hesitance to be out and about over the years had to do with how much he related to one of his most famous characters, Holden Caulfield. They pointed to this passage from Catcher in the Rye, in which Holden talks about death:

Boy, when you’re dead, they really fix you up. I hope to hell when I do die somebody has sense enough to just dump me in the river or something. Anything except sticking me in a goddam cemetery. People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday, and all that crap. Who wants flowers when you’re dead? Nobody.

Because Salinger wasn’t a public man, it would be somewhat gross for us to wax poetic about the details of his personal life. It’s tempting to talk about the kind of strange character that would write these amazing works of literature and then lock himself in his Back Bay brownstone for all eternity, but instead let’s focus on the work he did that moved us all. Catcher in the Rye (a book I’ve been reading annually since the age of fifteen), Franny and Zooey and his amazing collection of short stories Nine Stories are a good jumping off point.

Lady Gaga made up that concert she cancelled at Purdue University the other night (only one student returned their ticket instead of opting to see the make-up show, BTW), and she made a very special announcement in the middle of her performance. Apparently her fans from all over the world have helped raise a half-million dollars to donate to Haiti, a very generous amount to come from the pockets of concert-goers. Lady G thanked her fans before wow-ing them all with a rendition of Speechless.

Oh, dammit. I wanted to go a whole day without talking about this clown so badly.

One of Tiger Woods’ many, many mistresses has stepped forward with some “new” information about the pro golfer. Loredana Jolie, a call girl (sick!), is saying that Tiger Woods is such a freak in the sack that she thinks he may be beyond any help he could get in rehab. Loredana spilled all about their wild all-night-long romps and even elaborated on Tiger’s roleplaying fetish:

“Tiger’s sexual fantasies were not normal. He likes role-playing, he likes to be the guy in control and wearing a suit while there are girls performing girl-on-girl and guys entertaining guys. By that, I mean they would dance for each other like girls would do for a man.”

Although I’d believe you if you told me that Tiger liked to staple gun his ball sack to a marmoset and then have elderly women dressed up like his mother take turns whipping him, we have to consider the source of our information. Loredana initially contacted the NY Post to share her story, then said she never slept with him, then said she wanted one million dollars for her side. Now she’s shopping around a book, so clearly this is a woman with dollar signs in her eyes. I’m sure she did sleep with Tiger (because who hasn’t), but if she makes any more claims more ridiculous than the ones above, then I’m going to have to disqualify her.

I haven’t been too diligent about watching Idol this season, so I’m not sure how obvious it is to the viewers at home, but apparently Simon is no longer speaking to guest judge Ellen DeGeneres. The spat started when Ellen got fed up waiting for Simon on set and escalated from there. Last week, the two agreed that they no longer need to talk, just get the work done and move on. From Radar:

“There’s two camps on the show this season,” said an Idol insider. “It’s a lot more tense than previous seasons. It seems as if Ellen has decided to try to take control since Simon is on his way out and that’s created problems.”

Assuming this is all true, it’s pretty whack of Ellen to agree to do a guest spot on a show and act like a diva. I’ve heard from people who have worked on her show, Ellen, that she is a control freak, but rightfully so because it’s her own talk show. Idol. on the other hand, is not her show and if it’s anyone’s, it’s Simon’s. Just because he’s on the way out the door doesn’t mean they’re looking for Ellen to step in to the role of the set jerk.

This episode is completely and utterly the stuff of which all Bad Girls are made. Flo limps around cursing Amber for her newfound lack of mobility and Kendra watches on with a smirk. Amber put it so eloquently put it: She did not intend to hurt Flo and Flo very intentionally threw her across the patio by her hair. Yet, Amber’s bruises have healed and Flo will be in a boot for the remainder of the season. Pretty solid revenge if you ask me. Flo and Natalie get back to their wicked ways and douse Kate’s bed with itching powder which, when confronted, Natalie takes zero responsibility for, per usual. Kate figures out pretty quickly that pranksters are actually to blame, whereas if I had been in this situation, I probably would have just assumed that I was starting to physically become allergic to drama…but that’s just me.

The girls want to party — something new and different for the household — so they hit da club. And was that party song featuring Lexie’s voice made specifically to drive it through to those few (very few) BGC watchers who somehow missed how annoying she is? Well, good work; I’m sure they all do now! While out, things take a surprising turn. Natalie and Kate kiss and make up…literally. I can’t tell if this is a political power move for Natalie? For Kate? Not sure what’s going on here, but one thing’s for sure, she didn’t apologize out of genuine remorse. I’m quiet positive Natalie is not currently, has never, and never will possess a conscience.

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