Big Daddy Nic pops a cap in dat ass in this clip for the new movie Kick-Ass, due out in April.

Here’s a still from the trailer. Does this picture need words?

View the full-length trailer, after the jump.

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Amanda Bynes is following the Tila Tequila recipe for a fame-a-rita: In the absence of anything of substance, you can always just get implants and pose for sexypics. (This is also the operating theory behind half of the internet.)

She posted these sneak peeks from her photoshoot with Maxim to her Twitter account a few days ago (you can view the rest here). Her number of Twitter followers proves that at least 200,000 of you still knew she existed and cared to read her quoting Princess Diana and engaging in philosophical discussions with Reverend Run on the nature of haterade.

Enjoy, I guess.

The peacock is droppin’ a big ole deuce on his face, so what does he do? He does his job and makes with the jokes.

Let’s hope for the sake of latenight that these “rumors” are just that.

I’d rather be writing about how much I love this snow that’s been falling for three days straight. But duty dictates that I start the day instead by talking about Jon Gosselin’s new penis sheath. Papa Jogo must have some serious game he can only run in Utah. He picked up his new ladyfriend, 25 year old Morgan Christie, in the same ski resort where he snowplowed Deanna Hummel back in ‘aught nine.

“They’ve been inseparable…They talk on the phone and text throughout the day, and Morgan flew to New York right after Christmas to be with him. Jon is going through a really tough time… He and Morgan are becoming very close, but he’s being really cautious because of everything he’s been through. Still, the Enquirer claims that “Jon is so into Morgan that he is thinking about moving to Utah to be closer to her.”

I have to know what his pickup lines are, and why they seem to work so well in Utah. Maybe having 8 babies is like a mad aphrodisiac in the Beehive State. (That’s really the state nickname. Sometimes truth is funnier than anything you could make up.)

I’m gonna go outside and roll around in some frozen dog poo now so I feel a little less disgusting. Writing about Jon Gosselin’s romantic exploits just does that to me.

Tila, who is still suffering the after-effects of the loss of fiancee, Casey Johnson, had photos taken recently which were clearly intended to document her travels through the murky depths of life and death and loss … and craziness.

She looks like she’s upset, yes?  I know if I had lost my fiance, I’d look like death warmed over.  Cold, dead eyes, a pasty pallor and probably a nice crop of stress zits.  Kind of like how Courtney Love looks, well, all of the time.

I’m torn on how to feel for this girl.  She did lose someone close to her, no doubt — but her weird way of dealing with it, it comes across as just … bizarre nonchalance.  I know people deal with things in different ways but, damn, Tila.  Put a shapeless black frock on or something.

Reps state that Miley’s breakthrough television show, Hannah Montana, is ova.  The fourth and final season will begin filming this month and wrap up sometime this summer.

Tweens worldwide, at this very moment, are probably in hysterics and tearing at their hair and burning Hannah Montana dolls in effigy. Oh, the melodrama of it all.

Although Miley’s film career is over on hiatus, there’s got to be a good side to it all, right?  Now she’s just got more time to perfect the things she’s best at: pole-dancing, picking, grinning, designing clothes for Walmart, obsessing over that Jonas boy and making really unfortunate faces.