After weeks of rumors surrounding Jay Leno & Conan O’Brien’s futures in late night television, NBC has confirmed that the Jay Leno Show is being canceled. The last show will air on February 12th.

But wait… there’s a catch. When they say ‘canceled’ what they really mean is that the show is being renamed and pushed back an hour and a half… into Conan’s time slot.

[NBC Chairman] Gaspin says NBC wants Leno to do an 11:35 p.m. show each night, a return to his old time slot. He wants Conan O’Brien and Jimmy Fallon’s shows to shift back a half hour. Gaspin says that’s not a done deal, but he hopes to have NBC’s late-night lineup cleared up by the beginning of the [winter] Olympics. Gaspin said Leno’s show performed well enough in the ratings for the networks, but it did not meet the needs of NBC’s affiliates.

So what they’re really doing is trying to get Leno back on The Tonight Show (and dicking over Conan O’Brien in the process) but they’re spinning it as a failure on Leno’s part– saying that his show is being “canceled” when they really just want to move him back to the 11:30 time slot.

Shits.

Sheen headed back to work this week at CBS,  and the studio is being supportive, but careful to leave themselves an out if they decide later on that he’s not worth the trouble. CBS entertainment president Nina Tassler said that they are regarding the matter as personal:

“We are being very sensitive to the fact that this is a very personal and very private matter for Charlie,” Tassler said. “Right now it is business as usual.”

Which is executive-speak for, “His hit show makes us a lot of money, so we’re not going to drop the hammer unless it stops making us a lot of money.”

Sheen filmed an episode of Two and a Half Men earlier this week in front of a live studio audience that was said to be “very supportive.”  Executive producer Chuck Lorre also seems to be standing by his man:

“I can’t speak to his personal situation but I can tell you that he showed up on Monday and we had a great week. Rehearsals went really well and last night we did a live show in front of a studio audience, and it was a big success for us.”

I always thought the title Two and a Half Men referred to the two grown men and the little boy on the show. But seeing Sheen as a knife-wielding psychopath gives it a whole other meaning.

Prosecutors will decide whether or not to file charges on Sheen at a court hearing that is scheduled for February 8th. Perhaps everyone is just adopting a wait-and-see attitude until then? Thus far, the only real backlash Sheen seems to have faced is being dropped by Hanes as their spokesman. It’s not often that one gets dropped by their underwear instead of the other way around.

(Pic not related, but awesome.)

Here’s a pair of engagement announcements for two guys who you might have forgotten about were it not for the incredibly slow news weekend.

Backstreet Boy AJ McClean celebrated his 32nd birthday on Friday (doesn’t that make you feel old) by proposing to his girlfriend onstage during a solo show.

McLean “surprised his girlfriend Rochelle in [club] Wasted Space after running to Rocks the Jeweler inside the Hard Rock Hotel, and buying a beautiful diamond ring,” the source says. “He ran back to Wasted Space for the strike of midnight, and the change of date to Jan 9—his birthday!”

How….. Romantic??? I’m not sure that a complete lack of planning and a last minute proposal on his birthday is my idea of romance, but hey– she’s dating AJ McClean– so maybe being an afterthought is right up her alley.

Next, remember the guy who lost all that weight by eating subway sammys every day? Jared Fogle recently announced that he proposed to his girlfriend, a schoolteacher named Katie, back in November. The two plan to get married in the summer, and I’ll give you two guesses as to who will be catering the wedding.

Let’s just hope he can get that weird Subway bread smell out of his skin before the honeymoon.

So. Katy Perry & Russell Brand got engaged on New Year’s Eve. Now, she’s been posting some tweets that have raised a few eyebrows over at pregnancy-obsessed People magazine. The tweets in question– where she tells Brand (@rustyrockets) that he’s “prego-ed,” then expresses a craving for In-N-Out burger– are below.

I don’t usually give a crap about possible celebrity pregnancies. It’s just a little weird to be speculating about what’s going on inside another woman’s uterus, isn’t it? (I have a hard enough time figuring out the mysteries of my own.) But a Perry/Brand baby is the most adorable idea since paint-by-numbers pictures of sad kitties with big eyes, so I hope it’s true.

Honestly, though… a recent engagement and a few suspect tweets isn’t very substantial evidence. What do you think? Is her tummy just rumbly for a flying dutchman, or is there an actual fetus in there?

Lady Gaga showed up at the Consumer Electronics Show wearing a “hat” made out of her own hair.

Wondering why Gaga would be at CES? Polaroid just announced her as their new Chief Creative Officer. It’s sound business decisions like this that have made the American economy what it is today.

It’s not often that I have to debate whether or not to post something. But this really had me questioning myself. When it comes to celebrities, there’s this Victoria Beckham-thin line between harmless curiosity and shameful, hurtful voyeurism. Usually everything from drug addiction to sexcapades lies on one side of the line with people’s kids and death lying on the other. This item encompasses a little of both of those over-the-line subjects, and I question the value of bringing it to your attention.

But every foray onto the internet is an exercise in self-censorship. You’ve learned how to navigate between useful information and landmines of stupidity and depravity. You know what’s out there, and you choose for yourself what to view and what to bypass. So, I’ll leave the decision up to you, dear readers, as to whether or not to actually listen to the recording. Not that I have any faith whatsoever in your judgment– it’s just the easy way out for me.

You can listen to the entire 911 call here.

I’ll warn you: it’s heartbreaking.