And she’s not waiting a hot second more than she has to in order to do it.

Ex Fielder-Civil is still in rehab but once his ass is released next month, they’ll be taking a holiday to St. Lucia to indulge in rekindling the flame that initially lit their crack pipes love.

I gotta ask: what kind of unbalanced creepers remarry six months or so after their first divorce is finalized?  This is such a bad idea — and it’s got death and destruction and the end of days written all over it.  Kind of like this photo.

I feel bad for these two.  Well, more for Amy than I do Blake because he seems to be the catalyst that triggered the super-talented chanteuse’s downward spiral to begin with, but regardless.  Setting these two up together again is like setting Michael Vick free in a animal shelter.

If you luckily missed the latest episode of Celebrity Rehab, Heidi Fleiss opens her germ-infested trap and tells us all why she looks the way that she does: she long lived on a concoction of crystal meth, Valium and Xanax.

Fleiss claims that in her high-powered prostitution ring, it was a way of indulging in the party and taking the edge off of her high-stress proprietorship of playing Ring Around the Hoes-y.  She now admits that she’d love nothing more than to settle down with a boyfriend because the drugs make her happy, but she’s still lonely.

You’re on Celebrity Rehab, darling, not a dating game show.   And let’s be honest with ourselves.  You look like crap because you’re one gross bitch and you were born that way.  While drugs didn’t help too much, let’s not delude ourselves.

With all the attention on Tila Tequila, Charlie Sheen, and Tiger Woods lately, I wonder if Lindsay is feeling left out? There’s no need for her to feel neglected. If she wants some attention, all she needs to do is publish some photos of her wearing a horrible outfit on a Sunday night– she’s sure to get written up. But I guess having your driver nail a papparazo on a Saturday night will also do the trick.

Her driver was picking her up from the Hotel Cafe late Saturday night when the paparazzi crowded around the vehicle. One of the photographers was struck as it was pulling away. That photog later told medics (e.g. a drunk chick who’d been in the same bar) that it was a “hit and run” and that he’d hurt his hand. The driver of the vehicle is now a “person of interest” in a criminal assault with a deadly weapon investigation.

Judge for yourself who you think is to blame for this incident. It looks to me like the paparazzo got nailed because he crowded around the vehicle as it was trying to drive away– very quickly. I’d hardly call an injured hand a “hit and run,” especially if it was injured because you wouldn’t get your dumb ass out of the car’s way as it was driving off.

This incredibly awkward moment happened yesterday at the premiere of The Spy Next Door. I don’t want to get into the cinematic pedigree of the film. I just want to know what the heck Jackie Chan is doing to Amber Valletta?

Is he:

- Teaching her self defense; specifically, how to escape from a bear-hug rape attack

- Demonstrating the Heimlich maneuver

-Trying to pick her up

- Flirting… awkwardly

- Wrasslin’

-Trying to look congenial with his costar in front of the photogs… and failing miserably

- Falcon Punch

The Spy Next Door hits theaters January 15th.

The cast of the MTv show Jersey Shore just can’t seem to keep their fists out of people’s faces.

In December, MTv edited an episode in which one of the show’s female cast members, “Snooki,” got decked in the face during a bar fight with a ‘roid raging gym teacher from Queens. The network edited out the footage of “Snooki” getting punched, and ended the episode with a statement encouraging anyone experiencing domestic violence at the hands of a loved one or a stranger to seek help.

Disregarding the fact that a bar fight between unknown assholes is not domestic violence, apparently MTv feels that throwing punches is okay if the action is guy-on-guy.

In an episode that aired recently, cast member Ronnie Magro got into a fist fight with a random guy at a random bar after the two of them spent half the night talking smack to one another. This time, MTv aired the clip in its entirety, with no PSA about domestic violence to follow the episode.

Magro had this to say in his defense:

“I really don’t feel bad for the altercations that I did get into in Seaside because I’m really not a person who likes to fight. He was just being a drunk jerk, saw the camera … [and] I think he chased us down like two blocks or something like that. At that point, you’re like, ‘What am I gonna do?’”

I wonder if that meat-headed gym teacher felt equally as justified about punching “Snooki” in the face?

Magro was arrested and charged with aggravated assault. Although the charges had since been dismissed, after seeing the show, a senior Ocean county prosecutor has stated that she is “reaching out” to the alleged victim in an effort to further clarify the circumstances surrounding the incident.

Earlier this week, Molls wrote about Kate the Clean Slate’s (*shudder*) new hairdo which includes extensions that look like they were purchased and installed in the autocare section at Wal-mart where I buy my tires.  So it’s fitting that Kate’s new hair is worth more than the Kelley blue book price for my 1997 Honda Civic.

The stylist, Ted Gibson, revealed in an interview this week that the combined cost of the salon services Kate received was worth about $7,000.

“My haircuts are $950,” Ted revealed. “The color would have been about $500, and the extensions, which were great length extensions, would probably cost about $5000.”

Kate was excited about getting a new look to start off the new year, but was a little nervous about changing her trademark bangs. “We were together for about 20 hours and I would say 15 of those hours were working on Kate trying to convince her to cut her bangs,” Ted joked. “I felt like she was hiding behind that front piece.”

Despite the hesitation, he said the mother of eight “was really open to the entire process.” Ted summed up his vision for the TLC star: “I wanted to make sure I took her from being really ordinary to really extraordinary!”

Ted even has a nickname for Kate’s old hairstyle, “The little short bits in the back, we called them her ‘attitude’ and getting rid of those took a long time!”

Ted said Kate loved her new do, which she’ll have to have done every three or four months. “She was blown away, she had no idea what the length of hair and changing the color and bangs would do for her!”

They kept saying “would have cost” which indicates that she got the new ‘do for free, probably for the publicity it would generate.  Even so, the idea of a $7,000 hairstyle– ugly or otherwise– is absolutely repugnant. And I’m betting that the 3 to 4 month upkeep is going to come out of someone’s pocket.

This is part of the reason why I can’t understand why anyone is “Team” either of the Gosselins. They’ve built their “celebrity” around the idea that they’re just a mom and dad trying to take care of their large family. But they’re not like you– they’re just selling you that bill of goods so you’ll identify with them, watch their TV show, and buy their crap. How  many $7,000 haircuts and trysts with 25 year olds is it going to take before you realize that they’re both disgusting, just in different ways?