Does anyone else love Roseanne? I will watch Roseanne any time it’s on television, even if it’s those really depressing episodes they made after the Conner’s won the lottery. That being said, I love the woman herself too. She’s always saying really smart things and she’s ballsy and awesome and her stand up is totally unforgettable. For the young readers out there, Roseanne is like my Taylor Swift. That’s why I think it’s totally OK to post a photo gallery of her in Hawaii chillin’ out before a stand up gig. Just eating some salad, walking around with her mouth open, smiling and other things she like, would so do.

The next person who has no business designing clothes to be designing clothes has just revealed herself: It’s JWOWW, you guys. From Jersey Shore. You know, JWOWW? The one with the breasts and the scarfs that she uses to cover those breasts. You know the breasts and the scarves? OK, well, she’s selling the scarves in six different colors on her website, except she calls them shirts. The official description?

Ladies, if you purchase one of these shirts and would like to be on my website, take a picture of you in the shirt and send it to jfarley@jennifarley.com!!! And you can be the model!!!

Jenni has created the ultimate in fashionable clothing. She will be reinventing the term “Sexy Sophisticated.” Not only will her line be “Edgy” and “Sexy”, but it will make people of all ages and body type feel more confident in “the scene.” This exclusive line will be limited and custom made to your body type.

…Remember you don’t want to be that person at the club that see’s someone else wearing the same thing…

“She will be reinventing the term ‘Sexy Sophisticated’.” LOL @ that because I’m pretty sure “Sexy Sophisticated” is not a term, nor would I use either one of those words individually to describe the “tops” that I’m seeing in the photo above. The whole description is actually hilarious, because you know JWOWW tried to write it herself and then went to her “smart friend” and was all “Can you just write it for me?”. Then the friend came back with the paragraph you just read and JWOWW was like “Wow. Yes. See? You are a really good writer. Thank you so much for doing this. I just want to get it right because these shirts are really important to me.”

Conan O’Brien is almost definitely 100% out the door at NBC, but he’s supposedly getting a $30 million dollar apology check. Of course these rumblings are fairly certain but still considered to be rumors as NBC and/or Conan’s camp are staying silent on the details. On the flip, Conan’s not shutting up about his distaste for the network and last night he once again came out swinging in his monologue. Some choice jokes:

“Hi, I’m Conan O’Brien — future answer to a $200 “Jeopardy” question.

“Welcome to tonight’s show. By the time you see this, I’ll be halfway to Rio in a stolen NBC traffic copter.”

“In the press this week, NBC has been calling me every name in the book. In fact, they think I’m such an idiot they now want me to run the network.”

“According to the Nielsen Company our ratings are way, way up this week. And that’s nothing — wait till you see what we have planned for February.”

And while $30 million may seem like more than enough to cover the guy, NBC is reportedly stipulating that if Conan moves on to another network within a certain time period, they don’t have to pay him that full amount. From TheWrap:

The deal came following a battle between the two camps over whether O’Brien’s contract specifically guaranteed that “The Tonight Show” must air at 11:35 p.m.

As TheWrap previously reported, Team Conan was insisting that NBC has breached O’Brien’s contract because, it argued, the deal had a timeslot guarantee.

NBC’s response: No, there is no such guarantee of a specific timeslot for “Tonight.” So as long as we keep something called “The Tonight Show” on the air, there is no breach.

If NBC had been in breach, it would have owed Conan around $40 million (and as much as $50 million, according to some reports), as a penalty.

People close to NBC insisted the network would not yield on this point– it wouldn’t admit it had breached O’Brien’s deal.

One solution that had been on the table Friday, according to TheWrap’s Josef Adalian: Agreeing to disagree over the timeslot issue and instead settling on a pay or play fee.

This late night TV drama is the worst. I really just need to admit to myself that the only times I ever watched Conan were on Hulu or back in his Late Night days and move on. I’m prepared to go a year without Conan so that I don’t have to talk about this anymore. It blows goats that someone who’s made me laugh so hard over the years is getting railroaded by a bunch of losers, but like… see ya in a year, man. It’s not that long of a time.

Oh, BTW! If you missed Kimmel ripping Leno a new one over and over and over again the other night, check out this video. It’s awesome:

Photo via JustJared

Meryl Streep and Sandra Bullock tied for Best Actress (Meryl for Julie & Julia and Sandy for The Blind Side) at the Critic’s Choice Awards last night and decided to seal their win with a kiss.

Aight, aight. So I always have to admit whenever I critique people’s fashion that I really have no business doing so. I am wearing flared jeans as I write this. Yes, flared. They’re old and they’re really comfortable and you would wear them too if you didn’t have a will to live. ANYWAY! That being said, I was pretty disappointed across the board by the dress selections last night at The Critic’s Choice Awards. With the exception of a couple (Heather Graham, Emily Blunt, Amy Poehler), everyone looked like they bought their dress of the rack at Nordstrom in the really fancy section last minute. Lots of ill-fitting garments, lots of things that looked like last season’s trends or generally unstylish (from the dress to the shoes, I beg you to tell me: What the fuck is Sandy B. wearing in the photo above? Are those hooves?) Perhaps I’m being a bit harsh, or maybe I should consider that the Golden Globes are on Sunday and everyone’s saving their pretty for that, but you let me know what you think in the comments…

Britney Spears was due in court today for a meeting with the commissioner who wants to check up on her progress regarding her conservatorship. Because TMZ reported the story early and the paparazzi is rabid, Britney’s meeting was cancelled. While Britney seems to be doing much better and wants to (amicably) end the conservatorship that puts her father in charge of her, no papers have been filed or requests have been made.

Can we take a moment to appreciate Jamie Spears, by the way? Clearly his influence in Britney’s life has been major the last couple of years. While she’s never going to be the Britney that we used to know, her parenting and mental health have improved greatly and her last album/tour was an overall success. Naysayers will point to the fact that it’s not normal to need your father to take control of your life and finances in your mid-20s when you’re a twice-divorced parent, but nothing about Britney’s life has been normal. If Lindsay Lohan or any other troubled young celebrity had a parent spend the time and energy on them the way Britney’s father did, they might just have the same kind of comeback.