Sundance is coming up which means that shortly we’re going to be hearing about all the awesome films we should see but technically can’t because they’re impossible to find. But! Collider.com was able to hook it up with a preview of four clips from the much-buzzed-about Howl starring my ex-boyfriend James Franco. A description sent to Collider by the filmmakers:

In 1956, one of the most controversial works of American art galvanized a generation.  Now, the story behind Allen Ginsberg’s HOWL come to life in a genre-defying feature film that is at once a legal drama, a character study and an animated trip into the magic and madness of the modern world.

James Franco stars as the young Allen Ginsberg – poet, counter-culture adventurer and chronicler of the Beat Generation – who recounts in his famously confessional, leave-nothing-out style the road trips, love affairs and search for personal liberation that led to the most timeless and electrifying work of his career, the poem “Howl.”

There’a more information about the film here, but let’s focus on what we’re seeing in the clip. I’m thinking that, based on what we’re seeing in the YouTube video, this could be a fantastic film or a complete disaster. I am intrigued by every part of it, but not sold on any of it, particularly Franco’s performance. However, he looks sexy as hell with that beard and I don’t even like beards, so maybe he could change my perspective on all sorts of things.

Are you looking forward to seeing Howl? Heard any good buzz about other Sundance flicks?

Mischa Barton got another break this week when she filmed her turn as a hooker on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit this Monday. Howevs, she brought her crappy unprofessional attitude to set and it took everyone ten hours to film her… wait for it… seven lines. Yes, sometimes it can take hours to film a short scene, but ten hours for seven lines? I’m not going to blame the lighting guys for that.

From Radar Online:

“She only had seven lines, seven!” the source told RadarOnline.com exclusively about the recently out of rehab actress’ problems with her lines. “Each time she would mess up she would forget her lines and Mariska kept prompting her and saying ‘it’s your line Mischa’.”

According to the source, Mariska Hargitay and the cast and crew on set were losing patience with Mischa’s “unprofessionalism.” To her credit, the actress did apologize, saying “Sorry,” each time she missed her lines.

What’s more annoying than someone who keeps messing something up when you’re tired and cold than someone who keeps messing something up and saying “sorry”? I know! Someone who brings their tiny dog to set!

“She looks pretty,” said the source told RadarOnline.com, adding that Mischa’s little dog was running around the set and she “always looked happy when she was playing with the dog.” At the end of the grueling day, Mischa scooped up her dog and “ran to her trailer,” said the source.

Unfortunately for Mischa, pretty’s only going to carry her for so much longer. After making a series of crappy movies, having a mental breakdown, starring on a failed TV show and now this, the girl’s on her last dimpled leg.

Tennis star Anna Kournikova’s mother, Alla Kournikova was put in jail on Tuesday on charges of child neglect. Police were called to Alla’s house after a neighbor saw 5-year old Allen pacing around in front of their Palm Beach house soaking wet and looking distraught. The neighbor called the police who arrived on the scene to find out that Alla had left Allen at home alone for roughly 50 minutes while she ran some errands. Bored, Allen decided to jump out of a second story window, about 15 feet from the ground. Upon landing he smashed his feet in the the sidewalk (no shoes) and decided to alleviate his pain by jumping in the pool. When the police tracked down Alla, Allen was already in recovery mode at the hospital. Alla says that Allen was left home alone on the couch with the television on and he stayed home because he didn’t want to go on the errands.

Now, I don’t know what the statute of limitations is on child neglect, but let me blow your mind for a second: My mom used to leave me home when she ran errands all the time. As early as age four, I believe. Like Alla, my mom was a single mom and it doesn’t always make a ton of sense to call a baby-sitter for a fifty minute trip to the bank, and no one was going to pry me away from my Punky Brewster. Let’s not blame this whole thing on little Allen because he does sound adorably rambunctious, but jumping off the roof and then in to the pool kinda seems like a quintessential little boy behavior, not a sign of neglect.

What angers me about this story is the neighbor. Are things so unfriendly now that the neighbor didn’t say “Hey, Allen, come over here! Where’s your mother? You want to come inside and watch TV? You want a Fig Newton?” Since when are neighbors not friends enough to do this? It’s pretty gross that it’s someone’s prerogative to have the police intervene before they talk to their neighbor’s face, that’s all I’m saying. Especially when there’s something like “child neglect” possibly going to be on someone’s record. Maybe we’ll find out that this Alla Kournikova is a horrible mother and that Allen’s roof-jumping is just the tip of the iceberg, but I’d say she did an OK job with her daughter.

UPDATE: Now with new anonymous form submission. CLICK HERE.

So. You guys. Coolest thing ever. We had such a fantastic response to the lube giveaway we ran last month on Zelda Lily, and it made me realize how many women really need something to spice up their sex lives, but they don’t know where to begin. I thought it would be amazing if we could get women (and men!) talking to each other about what toys they use in the bedroom and how they use them. I wanted to create a “Sex Toy Discussion” gallery on Zelda Lily, but obviously it wouldn’t be very thorough or useful if I just wrote it myself. So I talked to the folks over at FunLove.com by Fascinations, and they are excited to be sponsoring a contest for our readers to submit their own personal sex toy reviews, and to share with each other how they spice up their own sex lives.

And the prizes? Are AWESOME. We’ll pick one winner to receive a $100 gift certificate to FunLove.com, and two runners-up who will each receive a $50 gift certificate.

How do you enter? Send an email to me at evilbeet@gmail.com. The subject line must be “Fascinations Contest.“ Use our awesome anonymous entry form HERE. Your entry — which will remain COMPLETELY ANONYMOUS — should include the following information:

1) Your favorite bedroom toy — and I mean that in the broadest sense. What do you just love to bring into the bedroom? It could be a vibrator, an outfit, a lube, a brand of whip cream (or just a brand of whip), a wig, a camera, a nail polish, a video, beads, a game, whatever. Whatever comes to mind when you think of things that make your sex life better.

2) A link to where you can purchase your favorite toy. Preferably, the link will be to somewhere on FunLove.com, but if you can’t find your toy on there, a link to somewhere else is fine. If it’s a do-it-yourself kind of toy, that’s fine too, just be sure to explain it to us.

3) How you use your favorite sex toy. This is where there’s some room for creativity. If you were talking to another woman looking to spice up her sex life, how would you explain to her how you use your toy? Do you use it by yourself? With a partner? Same or opposite sex? All of the above? How do you incorporate it into foreplay or penetration or phone sex or cyber sex or your quiet nights alone? Why do you love it? If you use it with a partner, why does s/he love it? How do you love with it? Talk openly, and help a sister out here.

You’ll be judged on the usefulness of your suggestions, your creativity and the quality of your writing. The contest ends at the end of the day on Tuesday, January 26.

We will only be selecting one winner and two runners-up, but we’ll be incorporating most of the entries into our final gallery, so this is your opportunity to help your fellow women have exciting and fulfilling sex lives. Again: ALL ENTRIES WILL REMAIN COMPLETELY ANONYMOUS and any identifying information will be removed before it gets published anywhere. Your secret is safe with us.

Also: Unlike previous contests, you can enter more than once. Have more than one toy you adore and want to share with the world? That’s cool — feel free to submit all of them. However, we will be picking three unique prize-winners, so it’s not like you can sweep the thing. But, hey, the more you enter, the better chance you have of submitting one of our favorite entries!

Lastly, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to FunLove.com by Fascinations for supporting us in this effort, and for being the source of some of my own personal favorite bedroom props over the years. You can get a little closer to them on their Twitter or their Facebook page.

And here’s the premiere of Taylor’s new track, “Today Was a Fairytale,” from the upcoming film Valentine’s Day, where she has a cameo. It’s not my favorite Tay-Tay song ever, but I still love it and I love her lyrics and I love her voice and I think she’s darling and I want to keep her in my pocket forever.

What do you guys think???

Seriously?

Who the hell is this??

And how is she still upright and how have her hips not snapped from the lack of muscle or fat supporting them?

Take a guess and then jump in for the answer.

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