This is one Cindy McCain — wife of former Presidential candidate John McCain — posing for the NOH8 campaign, a part of the fight for marriage equality in this country. Cindy joins her daughter, Meghan, who has long been a vocal supporter of gay marriage.

John McCain’s office said in a statement that the Arizona senator respects the views of members of his family but remains opposed to gay marriage. “Sen. McCain believes the sanctity of marriage is only defined as between one man and one woman,” the statement said.

Ummmm, right. Senator McCain’s political career — financially supported by fearful hate-mongerers — is opposed to gay marriage. I assure you the man himself is not.

It’s fantastic to see high-profile Republicans speaking out in favor of gay marriage. And I’ll bet good money that once McCain retires from politics, he’ll come out in favor of gay marriage as well. Because, ya know, hating people for who they love shouldn’t be a part of government.

Granted, other writers on this blog have broken the Speidi ban in recent months. I have held fast to it. However, I am breaking it temporarily, because this shit is insane.

And I’m not even talking about the plastic surgery. Oddly enough, I’m like the one person on the planet who actually backs Heidi on this. It’s her body, and she’s an adult woman, and she has every right to do whatever the hell she wants to it. I don’t even think she looks all that bad. Let’s be honest here: it’s a giant improvement over how she looked a few years back, when she first hit the Hollywood scene as an average-looking LC sidekick. I’d want plastic surgery, too, if I had to be videotaped sitting next to Lauren Conrad’s naturally flawless face every single day. She looks a lot better now than she did back then. Granted, she looks like a completely different person, but it’s a prettier person now, at least on the outside.

What upsets me is Heidi’s complete and total delusion about who she is and the message she’s sending. She looks this television reporter straight in the face and says that the message she’s sending to young girls is that beauty is on the inside. The reporter, bless her heart, is all like, “Ummm, that’s completely and totally not the message you’re sending” and Heidi is all like, “Well, yes it is. That’s definitely the message that’s coming out of my mouth. It’s just not the message I’m conveying with my actions — no, not at all. But that’s okay because I’m famous and the young girls who look up to me aren’t. They should understand the difference. Teenage girls traditionally respond well to mixed messages.”

And then — AND THEN — the reporter asks her to sing. And Heidi gets frantic and is all like “Noooo I’m saving my music for my album.” And then the reporter — whom I now LOVE — is all like, “You don’t have to sing something from your album. Just sing anything.” And then Heidi is all like, “Uhhhh, my jaw hasn’t really healed yet.” And then I laugh until I die.

Oh and bee-tee-dubs, you guys, Heidi’s album sold less than 1000 copies in its first week. That’s, like, unfathomably bad. I think Ayla Brown’s album did better, even before her Playgirl father stole Kennedy’s Senate seat (but not before sending me a stern email for talking shit about his daughter).

Yesterday Martha Stewart had a pole dancing instructor on her show and now, of course, there are clips of it everywhere on the Internet. No, she doesn’t freak it or anything, but you will definitely raise an eyebrow when you watch this. Martha knows what she’s doing. She’s done this before. And isn’t that what we love about Martha? She knows she’s kind of like a robot, she knows she’s on the frosty side, but she also knows when she’s being funny. When she says “She got me on the pole!”, it sounds more like she’s mocking them. There’s a undertone of “You bitches think I’m doing this for you, don’t you?” there, for sure. And then she lifts up her leg. Love Martha. She’s gangster for days.

Uma Thurman and her son, Levon Roan Thurman-Hawke tell secrets as she picks him up from school in New York.

Yesterday Jon Gosselin paraded his new 25-year old girlfriend, Morgan Christie, around Washington D.C. for the paparazzi. Morgan is the fourth post-Kate girlfriend that Jon’s had and the second youngest. But why? Jon Gosselin is the grossest dude ever. He’s categorically unattractive at this point. You might have been able to argue that he was kind of sort of good looking before he started dressing like the fat Jersey Shore castmate, but at this point he looks haggard. And embarrassingly underdressed for his age. Oh yeah, and he has eight kids. Dealbreaker!

Pardon me in advance, but I can’t figure out what’s wrong with these women that date him. Am I to believe that Jon Gosselin is misunderstood and that’s how he continues to manage to reel in reasonably attractive 20-something women? One of the women he was seeing, Kate Major, had a writing job that she quit for him. It was for a tabloid, but she was a working writer and she quit her job (and sullied her name like a mother fucker) so that she could get with Jon Gosselin. To think that anyone out there is so blinded by the allure of infamy that they’d put themselves in this position is unreal. Someone should start a program for women who have self-esteem low enough to bone Jon Gosselin. That should be a public service as much as “don’t drink and drive” is because having people you know that had sex with a post-Kate Jon? Well, you might as well die.

According to US Weekly, Jon and Morgan met while snowboarding at the same Utah resort, which is just freakin’ adorable. An “insider” says of the couple, “Jon adores Morgan and is trying his best to keep her out of the spotlight while he tries to figure out his life.” Sounds like the real deal to me! Somebody better rent those kids Stepmom so they know what’s coming!

“I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life. The phone doesn’t pick up because I’m masturbating. And I have excused myself at the oddest times so as to not make mistakes. If Tiger Woods only knew when to jerk off. It has a true market value, like gold bullion.”

- John Mayer talks to RollingStone about how he masturbated his way in to a drama-free lifestyle.