David Beckham is known, at least in part, for having a huge package. We’ve seen it quite clearly in the Armani underwear ads and we’re all under the impression that we know what he’s working with, but that’s just not good enough for some folks I suppose.

Elena Di Cioccio of Italian TV show Le lene (That’s Italian for “The Hyenas”) caused a commotion yesterday when a poorly-planned bit got out of control. David was exiting a restaurant to the usual slew of paparazzi, and Elena was amongst them, sneaking about with a yellow glove on her hand. Earlier she had told her cameras “We have seen fascinating photographs of David Beckham in his underpants. He’s seemingly very well endowed and even his wife says that he is well equipped…we wanted to find out if he was as well endowed as the pictures suggest or if they were touched up.”

After making a lame grab at his crotch and failing, Beckham spotted Elena and gave her a mean look before being guided away from the crowd by his bodyguards. Elena kept up her bit by screaming “David you’ve conned us all!” as he walked away, but it was pretty obvious she didn’t get to actually touch anything.

Now, here’s my question: What would make someone so desperate that they’d take money in exchange for humiliating another person and themselves like this? I know they’re a lot more “cheeky” over in Europe than we are here, but there’s a massive difference between being sexy and coy and grabbing someone’s dick. This chick grabbing David Beckham’s penis is like is some reporter tried to grab Barbara Walters’ vagina. It just is. You absolutely cannot invade someone’s space that way, but especially in a sexually aggressive manner. If she asked to fact-check his junk and he said yes, well then I’d say that Elena is a pretty lucky lady and excellent at her job, but trying to help yourself to a feel is unacceptable. What is this? Middle school?

Finally! A clip from The Runaways with some actual dialogue! We’ve seen the trailer by now and I think for the most part every 20-something chick and teenage girl I know is pretty excited to see how K-Stew and Dakota Fanning managed to do while taking on the parts of Joan Jett and Cherie Currie. And ya know? What we see in this clip above seems kind of promising.In the scene, we see Cherie Currie (Dakota) get approached by Joan and a record producer in a club. Cherie was a young teen when this scene took place, so you can only imagine the kind of girl she was to find herself in that sort of situation. I’m still willing to hold on to the idea that this movie could be really embarrassing for everyone involved (most especially the audience. I’ll die if I get there and I have to watch Kristen Stewart awkwardly pretend to shred for two hours), but the acting doesn’t seem horrible.

OK, let’s put this one to bed after this post, huh?

Conan O’Brien has finally come to an agreement with NBC. He’s going to take 45 million total to go fuck off. He will keep about 33 million of that and the rest will be divided up as severance amongst his staff. His very last show will be this coming Friday (with guest Barry Manilow) and Jay Leno will resume his job as host of The Tonight Show on March 1st. Of course Conan had to fight to get his 200+ staff members a cut of the deal, which is ridiculous when you think about it because it was only about a year ago that all of those people had to move from New York to Los Angeles with promises of new jobs.

After September 1st, Conan will be freed up form his NBC contract all together and ready to start a new job. Reports are saying that he’s anxious to do so and there’s rumors that he could find his home anywhere from Fox to FX to the Internet. It was amazing what he was able to do on his show with the restrictions of a major network behind him, so maybe we’ll get to see a whole new Conan if he moves to cable.

Last night Tila Tequila was going bizonkers on her Twitter per the usual. She’s going to be an Ambassador to Vietnam still, she’s back to claiming she’s pregnant and she was complaining about a bad case of diarrhea. But! She also had a Blind Item for us! Someone’s been talking shit about Tila again in the press, but she’s tired of just putting people on blast so she made it a fun little game. Do you guys think you can guess who the most recent person to speak out against Tila in the press it? It’s a toughie, but I’m sure you gossip junkies will be able to figure it out.

OK, fine! Here are some more hints:

I just wanted to let you know that it’s been raining since the Golden Globes in LA (that’s like, four days), which is a year’s worth of rain here. The city becomes absolutely impossible when it rains for a few reasons: no one knows how to behave in this weather (driving sucks), the city is not prepared for this much weather (we sometimes lose Internet due to rain), and it takes the best part of LA (the sunshine) out of the equation. For example, look at Katy Perry slipping and sliding her way in to Fred62 yesterday. Girl’s just trying to get a Wimpy Burger and she can’t even walk right. I’m from Boston, I know this sounds babyish, but I’m telling you: a little bit of rain brings this town to all sorts of haults.

[Ed: This recap is a part of our continuing relationship/love affair with Bad Girls Club on the Oxygen network.]

Last night’s episode begins with a BGC photo shoot, which also serves as Portia and Natalie’s reunion. I know what you’re thinking: Who dies?!? But, sadly, it proves quite uneventful. Although it must have been nice for Portia to look so hot in front of Natalie, who looks like hungover trash, and judging by the way she sits throughout the shoot is recovering from a long night of painful back-door play.

That night, Kendra invites her speed-dating beau over for some “quality time.” Just as he starts getting into her deep tissue poolside, the girls feel it’s time he be introduced to Wilbur and Natalie. Wilbur has an unfortunate slip in the pool, so Annie, being the good-natured gal she is, gets naked and rescues him … even though he can float. Did I mention he’s an inflatable and sexable pig? That’s right. I just coined the word “sexable.”

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