“God bless her that she likes older guys. And some wonderful enhancements have happened in the last few years – Viagra, Cialis – that can make us all feel younger.”

- Michael Douglas tells the The Daily Mail what we already knew about his sex life with Catherine Zeta-Jones

Jennifer Lopez was snapped by some paparazzi from above (like, her. Not heaven.) during her downtime at an Italian Vogue photoshoot. They managed to catch J.Lo stuffing her mouth, texting, and of course the money shot above. I think her assistant is taking a sparkly belt off of her boss, but the shiny grey material looked like duct tape to me at first. So much so that I’ve spent the last five minutes saying “Tape my ass!” to myself in a J.Lo voice. It’s fun. C’mon. It’s Friday. Loosen up. Tell someone to tape your ass. It will change the course of your day.

In mid-2008 I was pretty obsessed with Volume One by She & Him, the band made up of Zooey Deschanel and M. Ward. So much so that I eventually became embarrassed by my enjoyment and had to retire the CD to the same box I keep the Cold War Kids in. Then today I saw that their new single has been released (with guest vocals by another great band, Tilly and the Wall) and I was pleased to find that everything I liked about the music on the first album was represented in this song with a slightly different spin. Zooey’s voice is pretty undeniably strong and interesting. She’s got a throwback sound and M. Ward’s a great folky fix even on his own. I am officially anticipating Volume Two.

It turns out that Levi Johnston is just about as irresponsible of a parent as you’d expect. Between his Playgirl shoot and dates with Kathy Griffin, Levi has only managed to cough up $5,400 over the course of his 13 month old son’s life. Now his ex-fiance Bristol Palin (former McCain running mate Sarah Palin’s daughter, for all you clueless folk out there) has taken the matter in to her own hands and filed to receive $1,750 a month in child support.

Of course that sounds like an awful lot of money for a 19-year old to pay another 19-year old who lives at her parent’s home with her baby, but Levi has done a nice job cashing in on the Palin family name this past year. In fact, Bristol estimates that he’s made “in excess of $105,000 in 2009 through various media interviews and modeling related activities” in 2009. That’s not bad money for having to stand around and be the pretty guy who impregnated the Governor’s daughter.

Hey, guys? I love Rihanna a lot, I think she’s great and I really have never said anything like this about her before, but what the hell is with her hair these days? I know she was in vacation mode for awhile and that explained the ode to Carrot Top that she had going on completely. I would never blame a woman for taking a time off of grooming to just do “you”, but I’m actually starting to really wonder here. 1) Was that color achieved on purpose and if so, what was the look they were going for? It’s a slightly more orange tint than her skin tone, typically not someone’s best color. 2) What’s with the cut? She can have the curls, but maybe wait until the cut’s grown out more, or HEY! Maybe not brush it all to the front like that. Maybe some bobby pins or something. She’s better than this hair.

Amy Winehouse’s ex-husband that she recently started seeing again was caught cheating on her with a new fiance. But he was also cheating on that new fiance… with a transsexual version of Amy Winehouse. Now, the original story came from the Sun and I wouldn’t believe a word of it if 1) We didn’t have photos of Blake Fielder-Civil walking around with the 17-year old in tranny in question and 2) The dude’s on drugs and a lot of them. Now, that’s not to say you’d have to be on drugs to sleep with a tranny, I’m sure there are many folks who like to look at a lady face while touching a dick. I’m sure of it! But one that’s a carbon copy of your ex-wife? Ehhh, that’s just a little weird for my taste.

Anyway! This woman, she goes by Mia McHugh and she’s telling all about her time with Blake. I’ve pulled some choice quotes for you:

“He was taking cocaine in the toilets and would come out rubbing his nose.”

“It was bizarre. I was nervous, but I liked him, so I just went along with it. Then he took me to the hotel.”

“We played games of dare and ended up kissing and mucking about.”

“I was lying there and his hands were all over me. Then he suddenly realised.”

“He stopped, looked at me, and said, ‘Are you a transsexual’? I told him yes and he just smiled.”

“He kept asking me questions about it – he was fascinated with my Adam’s apple – and I was besotted with him.”

Mia and Blake were hot and heavy for a bit there, but Blake dropped her as soon as his new lady Sarah Aspin was around. Mia attempted to approach him in a bar one night, only to be shut down because he was with Sarah. Blake later told Mia that he wasn’t ashamed of her, but that he could not longer keep up their liaisons. Too bad Mia just ratted him out on doing coke while on probation…