Today's Evil Beet Gossip

How Does This Meatball Keep Getting Laid?

Yesterday Jon Gosselin paraded his new 25-year old girlfriend, Morgan Christie, around Washington D.C. for the paparazzi. Morgan is the fourth post-Kate girlfriend that Jon’s had and the second youngest. But why? Jon Gosselin is the grossest dude ever. He’s categorically unattractive at this point. You might have been able to argue that he was kind of sort of good looking before he started dressing like the fat Jersey Shore castmate, but at this point he looks haggard. And embarrassingly underdressed for his age. Oh yeah, and he has eight kids. Dealbreaker!

Pardon me in advance, but I can’t figure out what’s wrong with these women that date him. Am I to believe that Jon Gosselin is misunderstood and that’s how he continues to manage to reel in reasonably attractive 20-something women? One of the women he was seeing, Kate Major, had a writing job that she quit for him. It was for a tabloid, but she was a working writer and she quit her job (and sullied her name like a mother fucker) so that she could get with Jon Gosselin. To think that anyone out there is so blinded by the allure of infamy that they’d put themselves in this position is unreal. Someone should start a program for women who have self-esteem low enough to bone Jon Gosselin. That should be a public service as much as “don’t drink and drive” is because having people you know that had sex with a post-Kate Jon? Well, you might as well die.

According to US Weekly, Jon and Morgan met while snowboarding at the same Utah resort, which is just freakin’ adorable. An “insider” says of the couple, “Jon adores Morgan and is trying his best to keep her out of the spotlight while he tries to figure out his life.” Sounds like the real deal to me! Somebody better rent those kids Stepmom so they know what’s coming!

16 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Even my mother (who is 70) has this remark while watching the news:

    NEWS PERSON: Jon Gosselin had quite a scare when he entered his New York apartment last night.

    MY MOTHER: Why, did he finally get a look at himself in a mirror?

  • and now Kate Major is going out with the Lohan douche. She stopped writing for the tabloids because she wants to be in them.

  • Gosslin keeps gettin laid cuz desperate girls are desperate for attention. The girls just want to see themselves on tv, and jon is an easy way to do so, cuz nobody in their right mind would touch him. Not even with a 10 foot pole.

  • Not that I’m keeping track or anything, but Deanna was 23, Hailey was 22, Kate Major was 26 and this one is 25. Are there any more candidates?

    • Uh, really? He’s Asian. They’re dicks are like chopsticks, but shorter and not as easy to handle when eating noodles.

  • The hunger for fame and a taste for the bottle of all these “lovely delicate blossoms” will guarantee this meatloaf an endless supply of willing participants.

    Douchebaggery does not discriminate against gender.