Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Idol Premieres with Lackluster Numbers OR I Miss Paula, You Guys

American Idol premiered last night and for the first time in the six years (only six years? I feel like this shit has been on my whole life), the ratings failed to crack the 30 million mark. They did OK and came in with about 29.8 million, but for a premiere and with Victoria Beckham holding down the judges table with, they probably could have done better. Of course, one major drawback to the show this season is that Paula Abdul is now gone. I don’t think I appreciated what a delicious nutty flavor she added to the panel until now. I mean, sure! I knew she was “on something”, I knew that slurring words during a talent competition was totally ridiculous and only acceptable because she’s insane, but I don’t think I ever thought to myself “This is what gives this show its X-Factor.”

I’m thinking it’s a really bad thing that Paula’s gone now. American Idol, for how seriously it takes itself, always seemed to be in on a bigger joke when Paula was on the panel. It was like, “We’re only watching this televised talent competition because that chick form the 80s who acts like a junkie is hilarious.” The panel last night though? Snore. Simon’s still mean, Randy’s still meaner because he acts nice but just sits there and laughs at Simon, and those skinny dark-haired broads were BOR-ING.

Also, did this first episode seem to work all the sad angles more than ever or what? It’s as if it doesn’t even matter if you’re a good singer, you have to be an OK singer who survived cancer or has an old person in their life or has low self-esteem. I was really OK with the fact that Kelly Clarkson just had a good voice. I don’t need her to have a hysterectomy in order for me to want to hear “Walk Away” in the shower every day. Once we’re voting for these people based on all the different variables– do we “like” them?, are they attractive?, does their story make us sad?, are they OK at singing?– the competition completely falls apart.

What did you think about the show last night? Any hopes for anyone who has made it so far to make it to the next round?

Oh, P.S. If you’re anything like my friend Chuck, you might want to get pumped up for the next round of auditions by doing something like this:

Sorry. I have no idea what’s wrong with him.

10 CommentsLeave a comment

  • they didn’t give her screen time justice, but i’ve got some inside info on siobhan the glass blower, and she’s AWESOME!!!!

  • I liked the girl with the 4 brothers with down syndrome, I thought she was pretty good and had some soul and feeling in her. I also liked the girl from Berkeley that Simon said had the X-Factor. Everyone else that got through was meh – good but forgettable.

  • Is it just me or does Simon look like he is playing “pocket pool” in that photo? The smile on his face makes me even more suspicious.

  • I’ll never watch Idol without Paula. I’m looking forward to not watching a single episode!!! Fuck ’em.

  • Actually it premiered here in Canada on Monday – at least the tryouts. They were lackluster. Mostly country music and they seem to be pushing a female winner this year. The show is dead without Simon. I may not make it through the season this year unless Ellen can liven things up.

  • I am a little biased on this one, but for a good reason. My cousin Amedeo DiRocco- the Italian with the HUGE voice and even bigger personality- KILLED IT on AI!!!!!!!!!! He made it to Hollywood with the judges totally behind him. I am so excited to see a real, down-to-earth guy on this show who doesn’t pretend to be what America is looking for. In person, this guy is exactly what you see in the video- exuberant, outgoing, entertaining and above all, a big teddy bear. He is a huge talent who probably wouldn’t have gotten this much media attention without AI and I am soo completely proud of not just him, but my family. And i love the fact that Italians will now be seen in a good light- not just the moronic Jersey Shore stereotypes. Italians are not all Guidos. True Italians are like Baby Amedeo and his big heart. I wish him all the luck in the world and he should know that the WHOLE family is supporting him 200%. We love you Amedeo!

  • I liked your cousin too Cassie! There were some good singers, but we’ll have to wait and see later on.
    As for the judges, Victoria was ridiculous! All she commented on was looks and she was boring as hell. MJB was kinda boring too… didn’t expect that. I’m kinda looking forward to Ellen being on the show. I love her and I hope it’ll be fun, although she has no musical background except for the dancing on her show…

    • Oh, and although I’m curious to see who the replacement will be, I don’t think I’ll be watching once Simon leaves anymore…