Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Conan O’Brien is Pretty F-ing Classy

As I told you earlier today, NBC put Conan O’Brien’s nuts in a vice this week and gave him an ultimatum: start your show at 12:05 after an 11:35 Leno show, or get moving. Pretty harsh considering Conan’s long relationship with the network and his cult-like fanbase. Then later today Conan released a statement saying that he’s not going to move his show, and NBC can figure it out on their own. Well, he says it far more eloquently than that. Here’s the statement:

People of Earth:In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn’t the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn’t matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.

Yours,

Conan

Personally, I found this statement to be heart wrenching. Like the nicest guy in the room has a drunk slut draped over him and he just wants to make sure she gets in to her own bed unharmed. And Jimmy Fallon. Holy shit, is he one lucky sonnofabitch right now.

42 CommentsLeave a comment

  • This statement by itself shows why Conan should still have his show. Fuck Jay Leno. I’ll follow Conan wherever he goes.

  • Personally, I find neither of them funny. Leno used to be funny (long before he got The Tonight Show) but sold out and had to change his act. Conan….well, Conan is just annoying and his humor is only funny if you’re drunk and/or high.

    What’s happening sucks but it’s show business. He’ll most likely get picked up by another network and if his ratings do better, well good for him. If not, he can only blame himself.

    Leno has the older crowd and should do fairly well.

  • Conan’s keeping it classy, so I’ll go ahead and say: Suck it Jay Leno. And suck Jay Leno’s chin, NBC.

  • I did not think Conan was funny at first but when circumstances changed my time schedule, I started watching his show. I began to understand his quirky humor. I think he is handling a difficult situation in a dignified fashion and I wish him the best.

  • Conan’s humor is pure natural wit. It’s strange when people don’t seem to get that, because those people, who can find humor in every situation (and it’s not all scripted) are truly funny and talented.

    Leno has just seemed too satisfied with the entire thing.

    Team Conando.

    • Moo, your statement should be; “Conan’s humor is pure natural shit. It’s strange when people don’t seem to get that, because Jay is truly funny and talented. Leno just seemed to rule the entire thing.”

      • Actually, I wrote my statement exactly as I wanted to. It’s an opinion, and you’re entitled to yours.

        And no, I shouldn’t have written that. Why don’t you express your opinion by writing your own words, and not rewriting mine.

        Now, go listen to some terrible scripted stand up jokes.

    • Conan is not funny. Por Eso, people did not watch him. A television station’s goal is to have people watch their station more than other stations. If what Conan was doing was causing the masses not to watch NBC, this creates a problem for the network. Mainly, it is because Conan is not funny. Sad but true.

      • por eso? hahaha . ok, so conan only got 7 months to reach an audience that jay leno got like a gazillion years to reach. that is totally unfair. did u not read the whole thing?
        on the other hand, we are feeling sorry for a guy that makes 10 million dollars a year. he did get screwed up by the NBC, but that only goes to show business is truly a cut throat business.
        Por eso, boycott NBC, not leno, who ultimately is just another pawn.

      • Except that he was being preceded by the guy he just replaced giving him no chance what-so-ever to try and win Leno’s audience over. Conan continued to perform in the young demographic which is what NBC should really be focusing on if they want to make it in the long run.

        What will happen in 8 years or so when Leno is the age that Carson himself retired and he finally steps down? There will be no new/younger talent to take his place and the older generation/viewers that NBC is so scared to let go of will be dying off anyway and won’t be tuning into the Tonight Show since their old guy is now off the air.

        NBC needs to get their shit together, realize they need to invest in and groom a new generation of television so they can grow with the rest of the world, adapt to new styles and save their quickly sinking ship.

  • I do not like and have never liked Conan. I’m glad to see they’re pushing his shit back later so I won’t have to see it.

  • I dont watch much else besides the daily show and the colbert report- but I dont really mind conan. Leno I just can’t stand at all.. but Conan is pretty awesome. Remember that movie, Sugar and Spice where Mena Suvari’s character is obsessed with Conan? I can totally see why… lol

  • Honestly, I was getting sick of all the Conan stories since I don’t watch late night TV. After reading this story, however, I am totes mcgoats Team Conan. What a polite way to handle the situation.

  • TEAM CONAN ALL THE WAY!
    hey everyone, watch his show tonight – my cousin Zachary Levi’s his guest WOOP WOOOOOP!!!!

    • Umm I think the big story here is that you are cousins with Zach Levi! I am totally jealous. He is adorable and I love me some ‘Chuck’! Tell him he is awesome and hilarious and that he should totally be my boyfriend. ;)

  • haha! Well said, Conan. Funny, heartfelt, sincere. His Harvard education, class, and humanity are showing. And his hair is unreal.

  • Great response to the idiots at NBC. Does Jay have guaranteed $$ on the table there? They were gonna fire him because they were getting the same ratings at 10PM as without him; and cheaper… then the “brilliant” decision to move him to 11:35 again for 30 min? Conan’s doing the right thing, and strange how Jimmy Fallon, who I find unwatchable will benefit from it all.

  • I have to admit that I’m not a fan of either Jay or Conan (I’m a David Letterman/Craig Ferguson junkie), but I do feel for Conan. Not for nothing, when it came to the hand over of the Tonight Show, Jay shouldn’t have whined so freaking much… that was exactly how HE got the show in the first place! Johnny Carson was forced out by NBC, and Jay was not his choice of successor (if any of you can find it, read “The Late Shift”. It’s the story of the NBC debacle, part 1… the early years!). If NBC would have tried the “primetime experiment” with Johnny in ’92… it probably would have worked.

    I saw one episode of the Jay Leno Show. It was exactly the same CRAP he’d been doing on the Tonight Show for years. He’s not funny. AND he has no one but himself to blame for that show. he has a LOT of nerve to blame NBC for the failure of that show (NBC dud their best to shill that ceapfest… plenty of ads for it, plugging on all their shows throughout the day… they really NEEDED it to succeed). My big question is this… what does Jay have on the heads of NBC for them to treat him with such reverence?

    I hope that Conan finds himself in a better place… and soon. Even though he’s not my ‘cup of tea’, he did prove himself over the years and he deserves to be treated better. The statement he made shows that he is a man of principles and most of all… he is funny.

    In all of this, the big thing that has been in my head is… Johnny Carson is probably rolling over in his grave.

  • Conan’s statement was beautifully written. I hope another network signs him soon, I cannot bear not seeing him again, I love his humor and his show. And the sexy manatee. And the masturbating bear. And Cody the vampire assistant.
    I always knew Conan was a classy broad, and you could always tell. Team Conando, all the way.

  • I like the way he’s handling it but I have to agree with him that I’m not going to feel bad for a guy who is making millions to do a fun job and will immediately make even more if he leaves.

    Team Ferguson!

    • I love that he prefaced his statement with that. He has his head on straight, even though it’s structurally compromised by that hair.

      I love Conan & I hate what NBC is doing to him. And I think it’s right for him to take a stand. How many bum seasons did Leno get before he got his version of The Tonight Show on track?

      Also, Craig Ferguson is indeed the cat’s ass.

  • Your last paragraph was brilliant. He’s such a nice guy that while I don’t watch the show (I don’t have cable) I hope he comes out on top of all this. If he does relocate, I hope like hell that his fans follow & NBC feels the backlash

  • I’ve always found Conan hilarious, and I was really happy for him when he took over the Late Show. Jay Leno and NBC are a fistful of assholes who can suck it. Kudos to Conan for not dicking over Jimmy Fallon.

    Hmm, I wonder if he’ll be able to sue NBC after this is over due to the opportunities he missed out when he signed his contract stating he’d take over The Late Show in 2009. I kinda felt he was hinting at that, but who knows.

  • i love you, conan!

    I’ve been watching Conan and the late show for years and Conan is seriously one of the most talented and hilarious people on television.

  • Oh no poor Conan :( He seems like such a genuinely nice person.. I’ve been watching his shows for over ten years now and I feel like i know him…. Team Conan all the way!!! :D