If you luckily missed the latest episode of Celebrity Rehab, Heidi Fleiss opens her germ-infested trap and tells us all why she looks the way that she does: she long lived on a concoction of crystal meth, Valium and Xanax.
Fleiss claims that in her high-powered prostitution ring, it was a way of indulging in the party and taking the edge off of her high-stress proprietorship of playing Ring Around the Hoes-y. She now admits that she’d love nothing more than to settle down with a boyfriend because the drugs make her happy, but she’s still lonely.
You’re on Celebrity Rehab, darling, not a dating game show. And let’s be honest with ourselves. You look like crap because you’re one gross bitch and you were born that way. While drugs didn’t help too much, let’s not delude ourselves.