Soooo exciting!!! You guys should know by now that I am currently experiencing an intense love affair with The Biggest Loser (vote for Amanda!!!) and that I watched all of Season 7 on iTunes over the course of like two weeks. Kristin wasn’t really one of my favorite contestants personality-wise, but DAMN that chick was inspiring. At the time, she was the largest woman even in Biggest Loser history, and she managed to lose over 100 pounds on the ranch. When I heard she wanted to lose weight so she and her husband could have a baby, I completely broke down, but then again I pretty much always spend the whole show crying. I’m so inspired by those people! I want to be morbidly obese so I can go on an exciting journey of personal self-discovery with Bob and Jillian!!!

I am delighted to report today that Kristin and her husband Nick are now expecting! From Kristin’s blog:

WOW….WOW WOW WOW. I can hardly believe it. We are going to have a baby! Do you know what it is like to want something so bad for so long it almost feels as if it’s never going to happen? Nick and I started dating when I was 15 and he was 16 years old. We have been married for over 5 years. I truly believe with all of my heart that my weight was the one thing that prevented us from starting our family sooner. I also believe that if it were not for the Biggest Loser I would not be experiencing this miracle today.

CONGRATULATIONS to Kristin and her family!!! Just make sure to get that kid on the treadmill and eating Jennie-O turkey as soon as he pops out of the womb.

Miley Cyrus has gotten in to heaps of trouble over the years for taking photos of herself in more clothing than she’s showing in these bikini pics snagged by the paparazzi in Miami, but she’s a little bit older now and that boob and vagina coverage is 100% OK to wear in water, so technically these photos aren’t a big deal. But we all know they are.

Ahhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha. I have to admit I totes stole the first part of that headline from my girlfriend, who made that joke last night and really caught me off-guard. I was like “OH MY GOD LIKE ANOTHER TYPE OF OVERSIZED, DANGEROUS CAT BUT SPELLED DIFFERENTLY TO HIGHLIGHT HIS INFIDELITY!” So funny. Wish I’d thought of it first.

The folks at AshleyMadison.com — the “classy” online way to cheat on your spouse — have always had a crack PR team, and this Tiger Woods business is an opportunity for them to really shine. They’ve officially offered Tiger $5M for the “advertisement, endorsement, sale and promotion” of their website. Of course he’ll pass on the offer, but it’s great publicity. The whole Internet’s going to be like “ZOMG Ashley Madison offered Tiger Woods $5M to shill for them!” and then a bunch of people will be like, “Oooh, there’s a website I can use specifically to cheat on my wife?” and then everyone will go on the site just to look, nothing more, and then before they know what happened they’re in a long-term affair with some lip-injected nightlife hostess and their wife is beating their face in with a golf club on Thanksgiving.

In other news, porn company Vivid Entertainment has announced that they will pay $1 million to “any woman who has proof she was a paramour of Tiger Woods and will sign a contract with the studio.” Brilliant. Seriously the next time I hire a PR team I’m going to steal them away from a porn company.

Above find the Ashley Madison ad that was banned from the Super Bowl earlier this year.

Rihanna recently revealed the year-long dad drama she’s been experiencing after denying reports that she has been ignoring his requests to reconnect. Turns out we’ve got yet another Michael Lohan on our hands, a dad that’s willing to sell out his own daughter for a little bit of money he probably could have gotten from her if he’d just asked.

While the story is generally sad (her father took the opportunity to talk to the papers after Chris Brown assaulted her), I do think it’s funny, the way it’s quoted anyway, that the straw that broke the camels back seems so trivial in comparison. From The Daily Mail: “He disrespected some people on the bus and I didn’t like that, so I kind of just let him go back home. I didn’t think it was going to be a thing where we weren’t talking to each other. I just thought: ‘You just need some time away right now’.”

What the hell happened on the bus? I’ll never be able to stop thinking about it. Did he whip it out on one of her back up dancers in the bunks? Did he eat her stylist’s EasyMac? Scratch the Scarface DVD? What happened on the bus!?

Did anyone else think that Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson were really awesome together? I did. At first it was kind of weird, and then I found out they were holed up in his house doing insane amounts of smack together and I got kind of upset and then finally I was like “They’re just two crazy cats trying to co-exist. Let it be, man.” And then it just made me laugh a lot when I’d think about the bizarre sex and drug parties and fights they must have. Can you imagine the fights?! Pretty funny stuff.

I was kind of bummed when they broke up because break ups are generally hard and I was like “Oh, poor those guys”, because having your feelings hurt sucks (I felt that way for Dita, too. I’m not some hardcore ERW fangirl or anything.) Then today I saw a blog called Metal Hammer has the exclusive from Manson saying that the two are like, back together or fucking and saying I love you or something:

After some shocking behaviour in recent interviews Marilyn Manson is back with the woman he loves… “that’s kind of breaking news, you can be the first one to say that.”

You’ve been to the pits of despair and back, how does one pick ones self up and get inspired and motivated after such an identity crisis?
“I think I’m not afraid to be me. Sometimes [it] happens when you get to this point in your career, and there are so many things that have happened and influences that you’ve had, besides the influences of the things that have inspired you. Sometimes you feel awkward being what you’re best at, you feel like you have to be something new. But I think that a lot of people will agree that me being me at my best [is what] I need to be. I think that that really paid off because I’m back with Evan, that’s kind of breaking news, you can be the first one to say that.”

Awesome. That’s so great for them.

“I was a little hesitant. It was kind of close to home? then I realized, I would never say something [that Olivia says] like, Oh, this is just for the cameras. I think thats what makes me so different from some of the other people my age. It seemed for a time there were people who hated each other and I knew they hated each other but they were in pictures together all the time, smiling and throwing their arms around each other. I was like, Youre in the same business I am how can you do that and feel okay I so wouldnt do that.”

- Hilary Duff, to Nylon Magazine on taking the role of Olivia Burke

Can you guess who she’s talking about?