Ed Note: This is a part of an ongoing series of Bad Girls Club recaps as part of our ongoing relationship with Oxygen and our undying love affair with this television show. Our stunning sister team of Saranden and Sierra have been diligently watching the show and reporting back with their observations. You can read theirs and other BGC blogs here.

Last night’s episode was quite the roller coaster. Our bad girls tear up an all-male strip club, Flo finds a slice of bi-heaven, and Natalie tries to break Annie but ends up breaking down — oh, and punching Kendra in the face for reasons that remain unclear. That ambiguous limo scene elicited a big “Woah, that escalated quickly,” from my wine-stained lips. (“Hey, did I mention I run LA?”) The episode ends in limbo as Natalie leaves the house, but only for the night. Will the house take her back?

Now for my personal highlights: Flo’s “fudge check,” which seems more fitting for a Bad Boys Club but, hey, it’s still inappropriate and thoroughly entertaining. When Kendra was having sex withdrawals and proclaimed herself the horniest girl in the house, I realized she’s growing on me; I like her more and more. And, yes, Annie is neurotic and should most likely be seeing a therapist on a daily basis, but at least she’s up front about her compulsions, which is more than I can say about some of the girls.

Then there’s Kate — what is Kate’s deal? I don’t believe for a second that she’s this small-town goody-goody who can’t hang with the big girls. Where’s she from, you ask? Oh, she wandered in from this lil’ po-dunk town called Boston, Massachussetts. I Googled it, and I guess they have a few no-name colleges and professional sports teams, and there was some big deal over tea and British rule back in the olden days, but that’s about it for Boston. Boston is really just Wal-Marts and Taco Bells as far as the eye can see. She wouldn’t have had any exposure to big-city culture there. Sheesh. I’m just counting the seconds till she cheats on her boyfriend or gets her eyes scratched out by Natalie. I can’t wait. I hope when Natalie does scratch her eyes out, she’s screaming “DID I MENTION THAT I ALSO RUN HARVARD YARD, bitch?”

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Tom Brady announced the birth of his new son in a press conference held today in Boston and called it a “wonderful experience in his life.” I guess the birth of a child is only “the greatest thing that ever happened” in someone’s life when you haven’t won multiple Superbowls and fucked Gisele. After a couple questions were asked by reporters about the baby, Tom cut them off and said, “Let’s talk football.” Over it! He’s over it, you guys! And yes, he will be playing in this Sunday’s game.

No name or details have been released yet, but we do know that both the baby and the mother are healthy. We can probably also assume that she’s already lost the baby weight and will be doing a bikini-clad photoshoot by week’s end.

This is Tom’s second child (the first was his son John Edward, whose mother Bridget Moynahan he broke up with during her pregnancy) and Gisele’s first child. They made it all the way to the birth without breaking up, so maybe we can expect many years and a herd of attractive children from these two.

We’ve all had a ball watching Tiger Woods’ life fall apart the last two weeks, haven’t we? That multiple-mistress having bag of scum has been having his ass handed to him left and right and it’s been a freakin’ blast to watch happen. It’s also nauseating. But more than that, it’s really fun to see a person who’s been pegged as a “good guy” his whole career get called out over and over and over again for his secretly devious behavior. The gossip blogs have been pretty hard on him, but now even the United Stated Congress is calling him a douche. Indirectly, of course.

From TMZ:

Tiger Woods has officially been declared unfit for Congress — a California lawmaker is abandoning his plan to give Woods the highest Congressional award for a civilian in the wake of Tiger’s scandal.

Earlier today, Representative Joe Baca (D-Calif) released a statement saying, “In light of the recent developments surrounding Tiger Woods and his family, I will not pursue legislation awarding him the Congressional Gold Medal this session.”

Baca had previously submitted a bill to give Woods the award in recognition of his “service to the Nation in promoting excellence and good sportsmanship, and in breaking barriers with grace and dignity by showing that golf is a sport for all people.”

Yeah, it turns out that while golf may be a sport for all people, cheating on your wife with various bar flies is not. Whoops.

Perhaps this story best encapsulates one of the saddest things about this scandal. Tiger Woods served as an inspiration for so many people, young and old. He was a role model and now we’ve all found out that he’s just as flawed as our drunk uncles and he’s ruined forever.

Remember how pissed we all were at Lance Armstrong when he broke up with Sheryl Crow? And that was just a mutual break up and Lance Armstrong only has one testicle, which kind of serves as a “get out of being an asshole free” card for life? Lance is still viewed unfavorably by some people because of that, so I’m guessing Tiger Woods is pretty much dunzo. What a waste.

Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz have been filming Knight & Day in Sevilla, Spain and every day I log in to the photo agency sites to find photos for stories, and every day I see photos of the two of them “goofing around on set”. They’re usually dressed really well, sometimes Tom’s wife Katie Holmes brings their daughter Suri by the set, occasionally Cameron is caught flailing around like the spastic lady we all picture her to be. At this point it’s like, “I get it. You guys are rich and you make movies and people want to photograph that. Does anyone want to help me pay my phone bill?” Am I bitter? You fucking bet.

Then today I logged in to the photo sites and I saw this picture of Cameron Diaz and Tom Cruise straddling each other on top of a Ducati, playing patty cake or whatever the hell it is that they’re doing and I just laughed. Just had to LOL at how absurd this lifestyle must be. Can you imagine being Cameron Diaz, sitting on top of a monstrously expensive hog in Spain, legs wrapped around the dude who jumped on Oprah’s couch and getting paid millions of dollars to do it? That’s just bizarro.

They’re so fortunate.

Throughout most of Lady Gaga’s reign as the Pop Star Of The Moment, I have been all, “Can she just lose the drag queen schtick and the beats and just sing for a minute? Just so we can see if she’s a genuinely talented or a complete cartoon of a human being?”

Last night at the Vevo launch party, she kind of did that. Sure, she’s still dressed in something that anyone in their right mind would be embarrassed to be seen in (those raccoon eyes aren’t even remotely cute or interesting– she just looks unhinged), but her performance of “Speechless” was beautiful and strong.

Now we’ve just got to work on finding her a pair of jeans or something.

Johnny Depp would love for you to see Public Enemy, but he’s not going to watch it himself. At least, that’s how it came across when he said the following during a press conference in Tokyo to promote the film, “I haven’t seen the film yet, but I hear great things about it.”

Depp’s reluctance to check out his own work has a lot less to do with his busy schedule or film snobbery, he just hates to see himself on screen. This is more common among actors than you’d think, but rarely does someone come out and openly admit they haven’t even seen their own work that they’re pushing (under contractual obligation with the studio, of course.)

I can’t tell if I respect Depp more for being honest or wish that he’d have just played along when he’s supposed to. For the business. There’s definitely something to be said for complete honesty, but it’s harder to be a professional. I’m sure more than one publicist was in the back of the room cringing and wondering what the damage control was going to be like as he said that.