The new Alan Arkin/Blake Lively project, The Private Lives of Pippa Lee, is all about the relationship that a young woman has with a much older man. Surprisingly, it was the “daddy issues” that justified making the film for Blake, who said that she was uncomfortable when she first read the script. It’s understandable, as we’ve never really seen Blake get quite this racy, but what I don’t understand is her justification. “It’s not lust that attracts her to him. It’s that she doesn’t have a parent. It’s him fulfilling that hole of a parent. He’s the first person that guides her, and that provides her security and comfort, so that’s what their relationship was about. So, we weren’t busy trying to fabricate sexual chemistry,” Lively said in a LA press junket to promote the film.

Ahhh, so let me get this straight: actual compatible relationship between an unlikely couple = creepy. Daddy issues = fine. Man, I have a lot to catch up on.

As for actually filming the scene, Blake says that she was made to feel more than comfortable on set (I love it when actors say that, as if we were picturing the lighting guy giving Angelina Jolie purple nurples in a less professional atmosphere.) “I was with Alan and Rebecca, and our wonderful D.P., and it was a very private set. We’re all actors, we’re all professionals and we all understood what was happening. Everybody is uncomfortable with those scenes. You’re never going to be comfortable being half-naked in front of anyone. But, it was fine. It was a short scene. For me, it’s more uncomfortable to watch it. It’s like, “Oh, no, all these people are seeing me like this!”

The New York Post has always been known as somewhat of a rag compared to most newspapers. Any rumors that are birthed in its pages are usually dismissed by saying “Oh, c’mon! Where’d you read that!? It’s The Post!” This time, however, they’ve really done it. In a piece that even I was like “Damn, this shit is vicious” while reading, they accuse Christie Brinkley of driving her daughter Alexa Ray Joel, to her suicide attempt. An excerpt here:

Alexa Joel, who bears a striking resemblance to her dad, spent her childhood being berated by Brinkley, who makes mean comparisons between her daughter and ex-hubby, a source said.

“She would tell Alexa that her father was an alcoholic and that she had her father’s genes and that she might be an alcoholic, too,” a former family employee said.

The supermodel urged Alexa to stay slim at all costs.

In one incident, Brinkley grabbed a brownie, chewed it and spit it into a trash can, telling a 10-year-old Alexa, “This is how you eat a brownie without gaining weight,” the former employee recalled.

Basically, they’re making Brinkley out to be an insane Mommy Dearest type, which isn’t impossible to fathom, but the family swears it’s not true at all. Today, Billy and Christie released a statement together about their daughter, which is probably the first time they’ve ever made any joint announcements since they were together. It reads:

Every parent can imagine the pain and anguish we face as parents of a daughter who is working to recover from the dangerous actions she took while suffering a devastating heartbreak. As much as we hate dignifying tabloid stories with a response, we feel we must set the record straight to protect our family. The story that ran in the New York Post on December 8th, and has been subsequently spread across the Internet, is filled with vicious lies and attempts to smear our character and that of our beloved daughter. We ask the public and legitimate media outlets to please “consider the source” and to not further exacerbate our daughter’s situation by repeating and legitimizing these false reports.

I appreciate this story because whatever Alexa is dealing with that made her want to attempt suicide, she’s also dealing with the backlash of having everyone know she unsuccessfully kill herself. While I’m sure that having a supermodel for a mother and an insanely successful father isn’t easy, the portrait The Post painted of their life is ugly, and likely terribly painful for them to read under these circumstances.

Nicole Richie updated her personal blog today with a photo of her boyfriend Joel Madden and their babies Sparrow and Harlow. This is noteworthy because we really haven’t seen much of Sparrow since his birth and Harlow always looks like the kind of baby you want to rub in BBQ sauce and eat. What’s even more noteworthy: Nicole Richie may be a fellow Photobooth Whore! Photobooth pictures are like, my favorite thing in the world. It’s the most narcissistic fun I ever have.

Any other Photobooth addicts in the house? Does anyone use DailyBooth? For some reason I never use it any more, but that’s my jam right there.

Tiger: send me something very naughty

Jaimee: some things are worth waiting for lol … besides im at work

Tiger: go to the bathroom and take it

Jaimee: haha ur too much

Jaimee: [later that day] are u leaving me cause your wife is still in newport :( I am lonely now … i like falling asleep in your arms

Tiger: sorry baby I just can’t sleep. Its just a problem I have.

Tiger: she is not here. They left this morning

Jaimee: well I appreciate you not wanting to wake me up but if y couldn’t sleep I would have rather sat up and talked to u more … find out why I keep falling more and more for u ;)

Tiger: Because I’m blasian :)

Tiger Woods tells it like it is in this series of text messages between him and paramour Jaimee Grubbs released by the NY Post.

So, like, I have an honest question: If a guy is half black and half Asian, does he have a small penis or a large one? I mean, does the Asian penis-size gene win out over the black penis-size gene? Are there dominant and recessive genes for penis size? Have we, as a society, established a stereotype for the Blasian nine-iron? We should get on that. (Well, only if it’s big.)

Penelope Cruz, Nicole Kidman and Fergie pose at the LA premiere of NINE.

Also there: Lisa Rinna, Harry Hamlin, Josh Duhamel and Sarah Silverman, straight off the set of the Singles remake, apparently.

Lately, it feels like approximately 45% of my interpersonal contact is composed of Tiger Woods jokes. Like I’ll point out a dent in a car in a parking lot to a date: “Oh, yeah, huh. Looks like Tiger Woods’ wife got to it.” Or I’ll tell the grocery store sales clerk I’m a little short on cash: “Well, didja ever sleep with Tiger Woods? I hear there’s cash in that these days.” Or I’ll text one of my girlfriends to say “hey what r u up to?” and she’ll write back like “cant talk im fucking tiger woods right now.” It’s everywhere and it’s everything. I can’t wait until it’s over.

A tragically early investor in the Tiger Woods Mutual Pleasure Fund is porn star Holly Sampson, who announced on some weird porn-boob-touchy web show back in May that she’d fucked Tiger Woods. (She has also fucked Kevin Costner, talks at length about the size of his penis, no pun intended, and then mentions banging Steven Dorff, which is a tidbit I personally would have left out.) It’s not especially clear from the story whether he was married when she banged him (she mentions specifically that her tryst with Kevin Costner happened before his marriage, but she doesn’t say the same thing for Tiger), but the way she describes it all is pretty dirty sounding. Like, she was “performing” at some bachelor party — it’s not clear if it was Tiger’s — and then he “picked” her to take into a back room and pound with Tiger Jr. Ewww. “Picking” porn stars to bang at a bachelor party — now that’s class.

Anyway. You probably oughtn’t watch this video at work, just FYI. But definitely watch it at some point. It’s a good one.