Hey, everyone! Lighten the hell up! Just because your famous doesn’t mean you can’t run around Hollywood wearing your girlfriend’s socks and your hair in a ponytail. Life isn’t about “being seen”, it’s about what doing what feels natural, especially if you’re a really wild British comedian!

UGH. Screw Russell Brand and his dumb socks. What the hell is wrong with this guy? Is dating a pop star and being famous for screwing chicks and telling jokes not enough for some people? Do you have to walk around town dressed up like a rejected extra from the “Call On Me” video? I don’t hate Russell Brand, but these socks are too much. Too attention whorey. We’re supposed to look at the socks and then look at the man wearing them and say to ourselves “Oh, that’s Russell Brand.”, right? Why else wouldn’t he just put on a pair of ankle socks like everyone else in the world who isn’t a teenage girl. I mean, does he even know what the first thing that comes to mind when seeing pink socks is? (Don’t click that link if you work at one of those places that enforces the NSFW policy. It’s safe for my work, but I don’t know about your situation.)

As we saw last week, Kate Hudson was being awfully weird when asked questions about who we all presumed to be her boyfriend, New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez. Turns out she wasn’t giggling to protect herself or the guy or even her kid. She was just laughing nervously because the they totally broke up. I’d be laughing nervously too if the last dude I dated tried to kill himself after I broke his heart.

“Insiders” (whatever the hell that means) spilled the details of the break-up to Hollywoodlife.com:

A-Rod partied at Wall Lounge in the W Hotel Friday night, Dec. 11, “with two women,” said our source. “He was acting VERY single, and Kate Hudson was definitely not there.”  Another insider confirms that Alex was with other women in Miami.

The source also said, “Kate and A-Rod broke up.”

Meanwhile, Kate was spotted dining at Pure Food and Wine in Manhattan on Friday night Dec. 11, where one spy said, “Kate was there with her son, Ryder, but spent the entire evening talking on her cell phone.” And Kate was “all smiles” while having brunch with friends at Prime Meats in the Carroll Gardens neighborhood of Brooklyn, NY on Saturday, Dec. 12.

But on Saturday, A-Rod was at the Armani Exchange “Cool Shades of Style” dinner at the Solarium above the Delano Hotel.  And once again, no sign of Kate!

Um, that kinda just sounds to me like they’re not hanging out for a weekend, but the source claims that Kate and A-Rod are “totally over”. Did anyone expect for this to be more than a summer romance, anyway?

Last weekend, Tiger skipped the Chevron World Challenge, a tournament he founded, and NBC’s telecast was down 54% compared with last year, when he competed in the event. Experts predict that golf may never fully rebound.

“Without Woods, televised tournaments are like a major motion picture without a star’s name above the title — rarely do people go to see the flick,” said Bill Carroll, VP and director of programming at Katz TV Group. “Now only die-hard golf fans will watch the tournaments.”

“While there will be keen interest in Tiger’s first tournament back, overall ratings will likely decline as the casual golf viewer who was enticed by Tiger’s personal and professional persona will now most likely view him differently,” said John Rash, senior VP at Campbell Mithun. “Indeed, his aura, which defined an era, is gone, and along with that, some viewers.”

This effects me in no way at all, as I have never watched a golf game in my life and never planned to. In fact, I’m not sure I even knew how “golf” was spelled until this whole story broke. I probably would have gone with “golph.” It just seems like the kind of sport that is so dreadfully boring and never-ending that it needs a “ph” in its name. Like phootball. (Sorry Kelly!)

Rachel McAdams looked S-T-U-N-N-I-N-G at the Sherlock Holmes premiere in London on Monday. I am dying over the gorgeousness of the loose braid over the shoulder. Dying. I am getting hair extensions just so I can do that. I’m getting them tomorrow. I swear. Looooove it.

I’m a little obsessed with Jersey Shore. It’s like my fascination with Bad Girls Club — there’s just something so appealing about watching really, really trashy people interact, and sitting proudly in judgment as you realize that, thank God, someone out there is living their life more appallingly than you.

That said, I’ve been a little horrified by the trailer MTV’s been running of the tiny, big-mouthed, drunk-tastic chick Snooki getting cold-cocked in the face by a giant dude in a bar (it’s at around 0:18 in the vid above). It’s a stunning and seemingly unwarranted act of violence, and MTV’s been exploiting the hell out of it (the man — not a cast member of the show — was arrested, plead guilty, and given probation). And, good Lord, there’s been backlash — not just from angry people on the Internet, but from MTV’s sponsors (they’ve lost two so far over this). We’ve been covering it over at our sister site if you want the deets.

After initially defending the episode and claiming they wouldn’t change its content, MTV caved and announced that they’re pulling the punch scene from the upcoming episode. They’re going to air the after-effects of the punch heard ’round the world, but they’re not going to air the actual scene.

“What happened to Snooki was a crime and obviously extremely disturbing,” MTV said. “After hearing from our viewers, further consulting with experts on the issue of violence and seeing how the video footage has been taken out of context to not show the severity of this act or the resulting consequences, MTV has decided not to air Snooki being physically punched in next week’s episode.”

Wow. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen MTV issue a mea culpa like this about one of their trashy TV shows. They must have been taking some serious heat. The good news is that this demonstrates the power of anti-violence groups in this country and the gravity with which domestic violence issues are handled. The bad news is that now I don’t get to see the whole punch scene. :(

I don’t know that there are really words to express my disdain for Michael Lohan. It hurts me to write about him; it hurts me to think about him. If I had to play a game of Fuck Marry Kill with Michael Lohan, Joe Francis and Brandon Davis, I think I’d choose to kill myself instead. He’s like the most evil thing on the planet, and, like I always say, it’s a goddamn miracle Lindsay Lohan turned out so well with him as a parent.

That said, someone finally got it right and threw him in jail on Monday because he tried to make a phone call to his ex-girlfriend, Erin Mueller, who has a restraining order out against him. Let me get this straight: The authorities can arrest this slimeball for making a phone call, but no one can do anything about the fact that he recorded super-private conversations with his daughter and then sold them to Radar?

The terrible news is that he was released several hours later. WHY GOD WHY??? I can’t wait until he assaults someone with a shoe again and we can be rid of this asshole for another few years. If the recipient of the shoe assault could be Jon Gosselin, I will personally show up in court to offer my thanks to God and all that is holy in gossip.