Star is reporting that Gwyneth’s husband is having an affair with Kate Bosworth.  This presents some problems because Kate is totally dating Alexander Skarsgard.  How is she finding the time to fuck all these dudes?  No wonder she’s so thin!

This story originated at Star, but now X17 has an “exclusive source” who confirms that Chris Martin has been publicly macking on Kate while playing at a benefit.  That would certainly be a Boldplay.  According to the “source”, Gwyn and Chris’ marriage is over and he’s moved on to Kate.  I don’t buy it.  I’m sure that Chris Martin was making out with some anorexic, pasty, marginally talented blonde — the one he’s married to.

Betsey Johnson made an appearance at Monday night’s ACE awards and she didn’t disappoint.  As always, she made sure that nothing on her body matched and even gave her ass an advertising opportunity.  It is her style.

Christian Siriano was looking tame and Diane von Furstenberg was looking sensational considering that she was mugged in Spain just a couple days ago.  Marc Jacobs showed up in a kilt and Lady Gaga was questioned in the burglary of Christina Aguilera’s face and Mischa Barton’s thighs.

When you pore over hundreds of pictures of celebs every day, you start to see similarities.  Sometimes I notice that Rosie O’Donnell’s wife refuses to touch her during any public appearance and sometimes I’ll notice a few notables all wearing the same dress and every once in a while I’m fortunate to spot a very familiar douche stance.  What is it about douche’s and their insatiable need to straddle things with engines?

In fairness, Jon Gosselin was back to his Daddy duties yesterday and actually got his kids off the school bus.  Isn’t it sad that this is like, an event?  INF, like all the photo agencies, does nothing but watch Jon Gosselin all day.  Yesterday they reported that Jon rode a dirt bike and four-wheeler all afternoon until it was time to pick up the twins from school.  Seriously, that was his day — a day made possible by those TLC paychecks that will no longer be coming.  What a life Jon has and how grateful he should be both to a network that took an interest in his family and to his eight adorable children who kept viewers coming back for more.

I know you’ve all been laying awake nights waiting for this case to resolve — I know I’ve been tossing and turning every night and crying out “The boobies!  What will become of the boobies?” — and now it has.  Carrie Prejean and the Miss California pageant executives have been embroiled in legal battle for several months over Prejean’s termination from her Miss California post as well as reimbursement for the beauty queen’s enhanced rack.

The pageant claimed that Carrie refused to participate in appearances that were required of her and Carrie claimed that she was fired due to her religious beliefs.  You’ll remember that she caused a stir last spring during the Miss America pageant when she announced to the world that she thought marriage should only be defined as a union between a man and a woman.  In case you missed the memo, that’s a pretty unpopular viewpoint.

Here’s the good news:  The two sides have settled, though the terms were not disclosed.  I reckon that the pageant gave Carrie some sort of payout just to make her shut her mouth and go away.  In addition to a monetary gain, rumor has it that Prejean will have full custody of her implants and the pageant executives will be offered a liberal visitation schedule.

So I guess Jimmy Choo is doing a line for H&M. So of course they need to do a big Hollywood launch party for it. And they get a whole bunch of celebs to come. But whoever did the lighting on the red carpet completely fucked it up, so nobody gets to look good except for Hayden Panettiere, who can’t possibly look bad no matter what.

And then you have this completely tragic picture of Olivia Wilde, who is still basically the most beautiful human being on the planet, but she really need to avoid taking photos while standing next to Rashida Jones, who is incredibly tiny. Really it looks like someone did a bad job of Photoshopping them next to each other, like they messed up on the scale.

And also WTF is Paris Hilton wearing? We are NOT bringing back parachute pants, Paris. Not you, not Jimmy Choo, not anyone. We’re not bringing them back. Not now, not ever. Conversation over.

Hooray! New Moon‘s almost out, which can only mean one thing: Lots and lots of pictures of Kristen Stewart looking disgruntled on red carpets all over the world. ZOMG THERE IS NOTHING I LOVE MORE. Up first: Kristen (along with Taylor Lautner) in Mexico City, doing photo calls for “Luna Nueva.”

As part of her humanitarian efforts, Kristen supported the local economy by purchasing her entire outfit from a street vendor in a nearby slum. At first he wanted fifty pesos for it, but she got him down to forty. Well played, Bella!