This outfit is just, like, the worst idea ever, in so many ways. It’s not even the boxy shape that’s the problem, it’s the fact that it’s so damn tight in the middle. It scrunches up her breasts and makes it look like she has fat rolls, when she’s obviously like the thinnest person ever. At least her makeup looks really pretty, and James Marsden looks hot.

You know what’s really unfair?

James Marsden is 36 and Cameron Diaz is 37. They’re about the same age. But while Cameron looks like she’s getting noticeably older every year, James just looks like he’s getting hotter. Why does aging hate women so much?

OMG, Michael Lohan is such a dickwad. Unbelievable dickwad. He released these audio tapes of his daughter sobbing hysterically on the phone as “proof” that she needs help and is in a “fragile state.”

Lindsay claimed on her Twitter that the tapes are several years old and that Michael edited them.

I don’t know if that’s true or not, but what this sounds like to me is the voice of a very sad young woman who’s calling her father for support. Lord knows that, on really rough days, I’ve called my own father sounding like that. Not because I was on drugs, not because I needed an intervention, not because I needed the media butting into my life, but because, ya know, people have really rough days, and they lean on their parents during those days. And the fact that Michael recorded and released something like this is BEYOND despicable. He’s just the lowest form of human life. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — it’s a goddamn wonder Lindsay turned out as well as she did with this slime in her life as a role model. My heart completely breaks for her.

Lindsay, I’ll amend your tweet: Your father needs lessons in how to be a fucking HUMAN.

It’s those Filipino prisoners, this time dancing to Queen’s greatest hits.

I just think this is so cool. I’m glued to it. And I know I should look at it and think, “Wow, this is awesome, I want to join a dance crew.” But instead I think, “Wow, this is awesome, I want to go to jail in the Philippines.”

And that kind of thinking, my friends, is why you’re watching this to kill time at your real job, and I’m still here writing a gossip blog.

The Oscars aren’t happening until March 7th of 2010, but as of today, the hosts have been confirmed.

Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin will co-host the 82nd Academy Awards.  Martin has done this gig twice before and Baldwin is a hosting virgin.  When asked about the pairing, Martin replied “I am happy to co-host the Oscars with my enemy Alec Baldwin,” and Baldwin stated “I don’t play the banjo, but I’m thrilled to be hosting the Oscars – it’s the opportunity of a lifetime.”

I’m not sure how this match will be, but if it helps me make it all the way through the four-hour (plus!) broadcast, I’m all for it.

No such match has made as much sense since the early ’70s — the olden days — when Donny Most and Robby Benson bumped into each other on a street corner.

James Franco, my current fixation, is doing a guest role on the only series that I faithfully watch — 30 Rock.  There haven’t been too many details released on what type of character he’ll be playing, but it will involve a fake romance with Jane Krakowski’s character.  And really, who cares?  It’s James Fucking Franco and he’s going to be on something other than General Hospital.  I’m DVRing his action over on the soap too with plans to fast forward through all the Quartermaine bullshit and slow frame Franco.  Oh. Hell. Yeah.

“Since announcing that I may be deleting my twitter I have gotten numerous emails and twitter responds from many women and men telling me that my quotes and just various different things I have talked about on my page have helped them through there rough times/days. Women have told me that they admire the courage that it took for me to go out there and bare my heart and soul and just show the world yes I have feelings and I am a human being! Since minute one I have expressed how its been rough and hard on my twitter page, I guess through all this sadness knowing that I’ve helped others, from me just expressing my true emotions makes it all worth while, and how hard its been especially for a 22 yr old that went into this whole thing blinded. By the way the one thing the public was correct about is YES I was 110% NAÏVE coming into this whole thing. But if me letting the world see how upset I was has helped others feel better, then hey it wasn’t all a waist of sadness. Everyone goes through rough times. We’re all human. I guess its one of those cases of SCHADENFREUDE- which means happiness of the misfortune of others. MY situation made women around the world think, “Hey I’m glad I’m not Hailey Glassman”-LOL. So in life when things/situations get you down or you’re just unhappy you have to be positive and think “hey it could always be worse”.  The media has constantly lied about me. I try to move on with my life and I’m tired of being hurt and bullied by the world/media.  A GREAT EXAMPLE is right now I hate to say his name but Perez just sent me a message/tweet at me (haileyglassman1) calling me a “SKANK” and constantly a “HOME WRECKER” and making up up-surd lies about me and spreading lies that “HOMEWRECKER HAILEY HAD FAKE TEARES THAT SLUT SKANK”, (he’s said worse) but this was all said of him today.
LOOK PEREZ YOU MAKE A LIVING OFF TELLING LIES AND TRYING TO ASSOCIATE YOURSELF WITH ANYONE WHO IS IN THE MEDIA FOR PRESS. WE SHOULD ALL JUST CALL YOU MICHAEL LOHAN. YOU’RE THE GAY VERSION OF MICHAEL LOHAN. I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU AND WHEN YOU LOOK BACK ON YOUR LIFE WHEN YOUR OLD FAT WITH YOUR BLUE OR YELLOW GREEN WHATEVER HAIR COLOR U MAY HAVE THEN YOU WILL NOT BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF, YOU HAVE MADE A LIVING OFF OF BLOOD MONEY. YOU ARE TRULY ONE OF THE WORSE PEOPLE ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH AND THE SAD THING IS EVERYONE KNOWS IT INCLUDING YOU BUT IT OBVIOUSLY DOESN’T PHASE YOU. WHICH I MEAN PROPS TO BEING STRONG, BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY YOU’RE A PIECE OF SH*T. AND ANOTHER THING PEREZ KARMA, NOT SURE IF YOU HAVE EVER HEARD ABOUT IT BUT IT’S A B*TCH AND IT WILL COME AFTER YOU ONE DAY. I HAVE LOOKED INTO SUEING YOU AND DECIDED, “EH WHATEVER I’LL LET IT GO YOU’RE NOT WORTH IT BUT WHAT YOU ARE WORTH IS ME TELLING YOU HOW I FEEL. ANOTHER ONE OF MY BRUTALLY HONEST MOMMENTS.
Sincerely,
Hailey Glassman”

Hailey Glassman’s “up-surd” Tweet on steroids as posted on Twerbose, the service that’s available for when you can’t get your thoughts down in the 140 character limit imposed by Twitter.  Another available service, for when 140 just won’t do?  A blog.

Sidenote:  Glassman is a college graduate.