I know that you were thinking that Michael Lohan is the biggest piece of shit ever to father an untalented actress/director/fashion designer/singer, but you haven’t been given all the evidence yet.

Last night, Beet told us about the tapes Daddy Lohan released of a crying Lindsay.  It’s just such personal stuff, and you wonder how a parent can expose such material just to prove his “rightness.”  Wonder no more; he isn’t finished.  In today’s installment of “Michael Douchan is Telling the Truth”, he has released tapes — click here to listen — of Dina speaking to Michael in 2008 in which she claimed that when she tried to get Lindsay into rehab, LL punched her in the face.

I don’t know if any of these “revelations” will get Lindsay sober, but they sure as hell ensure that she’s probably never going to speak to her father again.

I’ll never understand the public’s fascination with these two, but Entertainment Weekly still felt the need to ask Kristen Stewart if she is romantically involved with Robert Pattinson.

Asked about the endless rumors of her supposed off-screen romance with Pattinson, for instance, Stewart got nicely fired up. “I probably would’ve answered it if people hadn’t made such a big deal about it,” she said. “But I’m not going to give the fiending an answer. I know that people are really funny about ‘Well, you chose to be an actor, why don’t you just f—ing give your whole life away?! Can I have your firstborn child?’”

Pattinson himself, who clearly loathes confrontation, tried to softly interject with philosophical statements about the need for an actor to hold onto his individuality. But Stewart cut him off. “I’ve thought about this a lot,” she said. “There’s no answer that’s not going to tip you one way or the other. Think about every hypothetical situation: ‘Okay, we are. We aren’t. I’m a lesbian.’  I’m just trying to keep something,” she said. “If people started asking me if I was dating Taylor, I’d be like ‘F— off!’ I would answer the exact same way.” Without missing a beat, Pattinson looked at Lautner, promising “Me too.”

Dudes, everyone knows those two are sinking your fangs into each other and no one fucking cares.  While Kristen Stewart is constantly bemoaning the ills of fame, it would behoove her to realize that if it weren’t for her marginal acting skills as seen in mediocre movies that are based on poorly-written text, no one would even know who she is.  She needs to drop the whole Jennifer Aniston-ish endless “relationships are hard” reel, get rid of the plaid shirts and just get on with the inevitable People “Yes, We’re in Love!” cover.

Molly Sims wants the world to know that she’s about so much more than just tits and ass.  I was already convinced after her Emmy-worthy stint on the new 90210.

I can’t say that this video is especially funny, but three minutes and seventeen seconds of Molly cavorting in a bikini is certainly something that should brighten up your mundane Thursday.

Russell Simmons has finally had it with Bill Cosby and I’m just so happy that someone finally has the nerve to publicly speak out about one of American’s favorite comedians. I have never thought that Bill Cosby is funny and he bought the “Little Rascals” series so that no one could ever view it.  Snopes says that is just urban legend, but I secretly feel that he’s somehow involved.  I could cut him.

Simmons wrote an open letter to Cosby in response to Bill’s new comedy CD — do people still buy those? — “Bill Cosby Presents the Cosnarati: State of Emergency.”  Russell feels that the Cos’ is too quick to blame today’s youth for so many of society’s ills.  Here’s the letter, though I wish he would’ve thrown in something about Cosby’s love of drugging and molesting women and how that should stop too.  Heh.

There are a lot of great entertainers

who do great things. Bill Cosby is one of them. He has always used his voice to right what he thought was wrong. However, I believe that too often Mr. Cosby has wrongly placed the blame.

Bill Cosby is an example of someone from the older generation who has consistently blamed the poets and asked suffering community members to bear the full burden of guilt for the struggles that they endure. It is certainly not that he and the rest of the elders don’t care, because they do. In fact, their intentions are pure and good. All the things they say are actually true. What they don’t understand is that the young people who they criticize did not create their own realities. They did not create the crumbling education system that we school them in. They did not create the drug epidemic and drug wars that have resulted in a dysfunctional family structure. They did not create the health care crisis that does not treat them. They did not create the culture of violence that they fall victim to.

While it is true that each one of us can make a change at any moment, it is equally true that at every minute we are all doing the best we can. If you knew better, you would do better. Therefore, those who care and have resources could/should work to create the kind of support systems that could inspire change.

Earlier in the week, I told you about Nicole Forrester — stage name:  Delilah — who is claiming that she had sex with Josh Duhamel.  Josh and his new wife Fergie immediately issued one of those stock “She’s a liar” denials that we are so used to hearing.  Well, the pole prodigy is now telling her story on the radio and I believe her.  Click here to watch all three videos of Nicole talking about how she met Josh and how she was approached by the tabs.

The way Nicole tells it, she didn’t know who Josh Duhamel was, but eventually her co-workers clued her in and told her that he was married.  But listen, he was hot, guys.  What’s a girl to do if the guy is hot?  So, she banged him.

Stripper girl also claims that she was approached by the National Enquirer after Josh was bragging on set about screwing a stripper at the club Tattletales.  She resisted telling her story until a $20,000 check was waved under her nose.

Beyond a possibly destroyed marriage, the worst thing is that Nicole’s kids who are 10 and 13 didn’t know that mommy took off her clothes for a living (and sleeps with married dudes!)  Well, they and the rest of the world know it now.  Hopefully she’ll take that check and do good with it.

You know, I wasn’t sure how I felt about Rihanna after she went back to Chris Brown post-beating.  After watching the first clip of her Good Morning America interview as it aired this morning, I just have a lot of respect for her.  I found her to be absolutely riveting to watch and she’s so clear on what she needs to look at.  If you’re being abused, don’t use “love” as the guiding force for what needs to change.  Love is so absolutely blind and has led so many of us down the wrong path.  It’s not easy to turn your back on love, but when it comes to abuse, it’s absolutely necessary.

Anyway, I’m excited to see more on tomorrow’s GMA as well as 20/20.  Stay strong, Rihanna!