This is totally NSFW, you’ve been warned.  This clip has been flying around the Internet for the past 12 hours and everyone is claiming that it’s a trailer from Jessica Alba’s new film, “The Killer Inside Me” (and after viewing this trailer, I understand the movie’s title on a whole new level), but I think it could also easily pass as Jennifer Lopez’s first honeymoon video.

Jessica Alba told E! that she never feels sexy, not even on photo shoots, not even when she’s getting her ass whipped.  When asked if she had acting aspirations for her daughter, Honor, Alba replied “I definitely don’t want her to do that.  Anything but that!”

In kinda sad news, singer and Dancing With The Stars pro Julianne Hough has split from country singer Chuck Wicks.  I thought these two were an adorable couple that were going to go the distance.  Last December, Hough told People “The minute we met it was perfect.  The first date we had we both had that feeling like we were going to fall in love with each other.”  Sigh.

In much sadder news, after announcing her pregnancy in August, Celine Dion is no longer pregnant.  A family source confirmed that though she and her husband Rene Angelil are “actively trying” they are not expecting at this time.  The loss of a pregnancy is so hard to deal with.  I hope that they will find comfort in all that they do have.

It has been widely reported that the couple conceived their son Rene-Charles as well as the pregnancy that was reported this summer through fertility treatments.  Good luck wishes to the couple in their quest to expand their family.

Everyone hates her, but I guess she makes good TV. At least she used to. I don’t think anyone finds her relevant anymore, except for maybe Donald Trump, who’s hard-set on reclaiming his television success of days gone by. He’s teaming up with the crazy, divorced bitch for a dating show called Omarosa’s Ultimate Merger. Okay, first off: That’s a porn flick, not a television show. I expect someone will make the corresponding fuck film in the next couple of months, and I expect more people will watch that than this show. Omarosa’s just creepy. It’s fun to watch her be crazy every now and then, but I don’t think anyone wants to watch her try to form a meaningful human-to-human relationship. She gives me the heeby-jeebies. I guess Donald thinks otherwise.

The Apprentice’s infamous one-named villain, Omarosa, is looking for the one — with a little help from The Donald.

The ex-contestant (formerly known as Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth) will reunite with Donald Trump for a dating reality series called Omarosa’s Ultimate Merger, in which she will try to find a man out of 12 business-minded suitors, Variety reports.

“Omarosa was a great personality on The Apprentice that was watched by over 40 million people as it became the No. 1 show on TV,” Trump said. “Omarosa is smart, witty and difficult, but all of those qualities will make for some very interesting entertainment.”

The series is being made for cable’s TV One and will feature Trump doling out love advice to his former protégé. It will be filmed at the Trump International Hotel and Tower in Las Vegas.

ZOMG. So it’s airing on some no-name cable channel and it’s going to involve Donald Trump giving romantic advice? I would watch that shit from Ivana Trump, but not from Donald. That’s like creepy times a million. Who the hell wants to hear dating advice from Donald Trump? “Have you tried buying him a golf course yet? I’ve had success with that approach.”

This is going to be such a ratings catastrophe. I can’t wait.

Molls reported yesterday that Saved by the Bell-er Tiffani-Amber Thiessen was expecting a baby with her husband, Brady Smith. I’d taken the day off, but that morning a friend of mine sent over this adorable baby announcement that Tiffani and her husband emailed out to their friends. So cute! Congrats to the happy couple! It’s nice to see a former child star grow up, get married and get pregnant, all without a DUI or jail time or a crotch shot.

God, this motherfucker is so goddamn insane. I mean, really, he’ll go down in the annals of history as being one of the most freakishly insane media figures of all time. Adolf Hitler is hopping around on hot coals in hell all like, “This Lohan guy’s a real asshole, right?”

It’s been a great week for Radar, which has been systematically releasing these completely evil taped phone conversations that Michael gave them. They released one yesterday of Lindsay’s old assistant, Jenni Muro, telling Michael about how she’s staying up all night, “trying to save your daughter’s life.” Jenni talks about Lindsay’s addiction to Samantha Ronson, about the dysfunctionality of their relationship, about how Lindsay doesn’t care about work and is generally a total trainwreck.

Then they released another call from mom Dina today. Dina talks about how Lindsay was dating Heath Ledger when he died (ummm, really?) and admits that Lindsay has a problem with alcohol and drugs. (She blames Lindsay’s “DNA,” which I think is a shot at Michael’s own alcoholism.) She talks about how she’s grateful Lindsay doesn’t have a drivers license right now, and also talks a little about how obsessed she is with Samantha and how unhealthy their relationship is.

I have to say, I’m grateful to at least see that Dina realizes Lindsay has a problem. She spent so much time out in the media like, “My daughter’s fine, she’s not an alcoholic, she’s totally okay,” but I think now that was probably just a mother protecting her daughter the only way she knew how. It’s obvious this family is well aware that Lindsay has a drug and alcohol problem — they just don’t know what to do about it. And it all paints a picture of Lindsay as a very sad and scared young woman, which is no surprise. I hope she decides to get the help she needs before it’s too late.

Here’s some shots of Lindsay picking up food at Katsuya yesterday. I’ll take the skewered father over rice, please.

And you know what? I love it. Is it un-hip in the world of snark to love Lady Gaga? Maybe, but I kind of do. I love this song, and I love the creative fashion in this video. I sometimes get annoyed with her running off to parties and awards shows in her avant-garde garb, but a music video is exactly where that shit belongs, and she pulls it off here with panache. The bathtub scene kind of reminds me of that scene in Britney’s “Everytime” video, but much cooler. And make sure to stay tuned until the last shot, which is hilarious and awesome.

Can someone tell me what she’s saying during the French part? Is that even French? I took a semester in college, but, ya know, I was pretty drunk in college. Actually, I took that final wasted — because who the fuck schedules a final exam at 8:30 pm on a Friday and expects a 19-year-old me to show up sober, right? — and got the highest score in the class. I was, like, Parisian that night. I do much better with foreign languages when I’m drunk, apparently. But I’m sober right now, so I have no idea what she’s saying.