The always-accommodating Carrie Prejean staged perhaps the worst attempt at an interview walk-off I’ve ever seen last night on CNN. Larry King keeps asking her why she settled with the Miss California organization — she settled, of course, because they had a video of her masturbating. But she doesn’t want to talk about that, and, although Larry never directly poses a question about it, she claims he’s being “inappropriate” and gently removes her microphone. Then she just whispers off-stage to someone for a good thirty seconds on live national television while Larry has a panic attack and begs her forgiveness. It’s such total weak sauce. I mean, if you’re gonna walk out of an interview, Carrie, do it with some panache. If you had any gay friends, I bet they would have taught you how to make a dramatic exit.

I know you have a book to promote, but maybe stick to the pre-taped interviews if you want to be a whiny bitch about freakin’ everything.

Dane Cook is a moron. He is an unfunny, clueless, meathead. Let me just get that out of the way.

In an interview with MTV, Dane Cook says that something he’d like to do is play The Joker or The Riddler in a Batman movie, were they ever to bring those two characters back. Yes, the parts played by geniuses like Heath Ledger and Jim Carey.

Dane Cook legitimately has no idea that he’s never going to be anything more than what he is. His movies suck, his stand up hasn’t been funny to anyone over the age of 18 in a long-ass time and his once “good looks” have now deteriorated with age to the point where he just looks like your friend’s weird “young” uncle who was always hanging around the house when you went over to play.

If I was his publicist, I would have ran over to him and shoved a sock in his mouth the second he started talking about Batman movies. He will never make a Batman movie. Alicia Silverstone was probably the least-worthy person ever in a Batman movie and I love Alicia Silverstone. Dane Cook can maybe work the craft services table on a Batman movie. Maybe. On the luckiest day of his life.

Ever since Jon Voight went on Access Hollywood back in 2001 and made a tearful plea for his daughter, Angelina Jolie, to get help for her “serious mental problems”, the two have been out of contact. Obviously feeling betrayed, Angelina cut her father out of her life all together and dismissed his claims by saying that he was the one who needed help. Basically, they were the original Michael and Lindsay Lohan.

Jon has made many public statements about how horrible the estrangement from his daughter has been, but Angelina maintained that it was in the best interest of her and her children to continue to stay cut off. According to Jon, she finally has changed her stance.

“We’re in touch, but not regularly.  We love each other and that’s the most important thing,” he said in a recent statement. He also claimed that Angelina was the first one to reach out and that, although they don’t speak often, they both know that maintaining a relationship is important. “Angie made the initial contact.  Brad [Pitt] has been supportive- a key factor in her reaching out.”

I’m thinking that Jon is just looking for some press and that Angelina is more than busy with her family and career. Whenever Jon gets press these days, it’s because he’s speaking out about his daughter in the press, something that I’m sure will continue to keep the two of them apart. Given the nature of their estrangement, I’m sure that every time he mentions her name, he decreases the odds of those phone calls ever becoming regular.

The Joe Perry Project played last night at the Filmore in NYC.  Joe Perry knows how to make statements.  He’s been making them all week about his other band, Aerosmith.  According to Perry, the group was broken up — news that was devastating to devoted fans.

But about last night’s JPP performance:  Steven Tyler made a surprise appearance on stage and sang “Walk This Way.”  So, good news, right?  When asked directly about his rumored departure Monday at the Glamour Awards, Tyler replied “Does it look like I’m leaving Aerosmith? You know what it is — it’s those people who are putting out Joe’s album. Joe’s doing a solo album. So people are paying attention to that.”

I was so confused.  I knew there was some sort of country music award ceremony this week and pictures from the 57th Annual BMI Country Awards came across the wire this morning.  Now, I wouldn’t attend an awards show that reminded me of my body mass index either, but I was surprised to see how few celebs attended.  Like, Keith Urban, Nicole Kidman and Taylor Swift were there, but not too many more notables (if you can count Chris Sligh of American Idol “fame” as a notable).

It took a little bit of research for me to learn that the awards that people actually pay attention to, the CMAs, are tonight.  Prepare for a blinding photo gallery tomorrow full of the over-whitened teeth and liberal use of sequins that I’ve come to expect from Nashville.

Jon Gosselin appears as himself in the newest episode of Funny or Die.  Quite frankly, I think they were going for some sort of humorous parody, but I just found it kind of sad.  Jon travels back in time to who he used to be.  Great idea if you ask me.

In a PopEater interview, Jon revealed that he’ll be spending both Christmas Eve and Christmas day with Kate and the kids, per the terms of their custody arrangement.  Other plans for the new year?  He’s going to start using his fame for good, folks!  Can’t wait to see how that looks.