“You want my honest comment? It’s too much too soon.  Time is God’s way of keeping everything from happening at once. It’s just too much of a good thing too soon.  My thing is, being a home-school mom, I want kids to earn it, and I think some time … ’cause mom and I rode in a car for the first year of our career to visit radio stations. There was a making of the star, there was a rising up, and the fans went with us.  Now it’s over coffee breaks, the success, almost.  You have to play catch up … It’s like the girl who wins an Oscar and she’s under 20. What do you do from here?”

Wynonna Judd’s response to Taylor Swift’s record-breaking win as CMA’s Artist of the Year last night.  You know, maybe Whinonna (intentional) should spend a little more time CORI checking her kids’ teachers and a little bit less time being a bitter, old, washed-up hag who has nothing better to do than rain on the victory of the new kid on the block.

Mariah’s new song “100 Percent” — she wrote it for the movie Precious — is out and I really like it.  I like when she sings instead of that breathy, huffing thing she is famous for.

Mariah appears in the movie Precious, which as I mentioned on Monday only opened in 18 theaters.  Now that it’s rolling out to more locations, tell me — have you seen the movie and did you like it?  Most importantly, is it better than Glitter?

I’m still titling this ongoing nonsense the Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson We Don’t Give a Fuck 2009 Tour, but I’ll give credit where credit is due: At the UK red carpet event for New Moon, there are actually some photos of Kristen Stewart where she kinda-sorta looks like she’s giving a fuck. I’m impressed with her, but I’m disappointed. I look forward to photos of Kristen Stewart press events, and I count on her to entertain me with new and improved I-don’t-give-a-fuck faces. Don’t buy into the Hollywood nonsense, Kristen! Fight the power! Get stoned and look bored! It’s what you do so very well.

Absolute cuteness was the name of the game as Melissa Joan Hart sat courtside at the Knicks vs. Hawks game with her hubby, Mark Wilkerson. They actually look like they’re in love and not just putting on a show for the cameras. I love it. I’m glad things turned out so well for Melissa. Remember when she was all BFF with Britney Spears like a million years ago? And she was in the “Crazy” video? That was just weird.

My mother watched Taylor Swift on SNL this weekend. Then she called me and was like, “I watched that Taylor Swift girl on Saturday Night Live. I don’t understand what the big deal is. I wasn’t impressed.”

I am no longer on speaking terms with my mother.

Because Taylor Swift is hands-down the greatest person in the world, and I am going to adopt her as my little sister and then we are going to be best friends and do everything together and she will write songs about me titled things like “Sisterhood: A Love Story” and “My Heart Beets for You, Adoptive Sister” and I will come with her to all her awards shows. And she will dedicate awards to me, because we are best friends. Anyway. On Wednesday, Taylor became the youngest artist ever to win the coveted title of Entertainer of the Year at the Country Music Awards. She also claimed awards for Female Vocalist of the Year, Music Video of the Year for her song “Love Story” and Album of the Year with “Fearless.” WOW. Rock on, Tay-Tay. You deserve it. Also: Who the fuck are the Jonas Brothers, again?

“I want to thank every single person here tonight for not running up on stage during this speech,” she said when picking up her trophy for female vocalist.

ZOMG. Love her so much. LOVE YOU, TAYLOR! Just one little criticism: You’re getting too damn thin!! Eat something, girlie!

Also there: A brunette Kellie Pickler, Carrie Underwood, Faith Hill and Tim McGraw, Nicole Kidman, her two breasts and that guy she’s married to, and LeAnn Rimes, who looks just terrible and inexplicably managed to get mascara on her teeth, I think.

I have to say, I don’t have a lot of sympathy for the photog who got his ass punched and bloodied by Mike Tyson at LAX on Wednesday. Tyson was trying to find his misplaced luggage after a flight from London with his wife and 10-month-old daughter when the photog reportedly got in his face. Look, I get it, violence is never the answer, but you’ve gotta have some sort of death wish to be anything but uber-polite to Mike Tyson, especially when he’s with his family. The guy’s had a hell of a year, and I don’t blame him for taking a zero-tolerance policy with the paps.

We’re told Tyson was at a ticket counter at the United Airlines terminal when the incident occurred. The photographer got punched in the face, hit the ground, got up and began walking, leaving a trail of blood. An LAPD spokesperson said the photographer suffered a minor laceration to the forehead.

Someone at the scene tells TMZ … the photographer got very close to Tyson before the boxer struck him. Our says there’s blood on the ground and Mike was taken away in a squad car. We’re told an ambulance was dispatched at 4:39 PM to LAX and the paparazzo was transported to a local hospital.

Cops say Tyson and the photographer performed citizen’s arrests on each other — both are expected to be booked for misdemeanor battery. Cops also said witnesses backed both stories … so that could get interesting.

If Tyson is prosecuted, given that he’s a former boxing champ, the charge could end up being assault with a deadly weapon.

Okay, question: How do you actually perform a citizen’s arrest? Is that a real thing? Because one time this angry and probably undersexed lady on the street yelled at me for tossing a cigarette on the sidewalk, and she was all like, “That’s illegal, you know” and I was all like, “Then you should probably perform a citizen’s arrest, bitch” and afterward I was all like, “I wonder if she actually could have done that.”