I guess there comes a time in a celebrity’s life when he or she just has enough money.  Brad Pitt — and unrelated, but can we just take a moment to analyze Brangie’s body language in a photo taken last week? — obviously has reached that stage since he forfeited $5M to trick or treat with his kids on Halloween.

Pitt was offered five million bucks to appear at the Grand Prix Ball Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates on October 31st and turned it down.  Well, according to the event’s organizer, Pitt actually accepted the offer but then ended up being a no show. “We were told he would be attending as the guest of the Tourism Development & Investment Company.  But he was a no-show, and nobody seemed to know why.”

Beyonce, Timbaland and Aerosmith are not yet rich enough — they all appeared and performed.

Michael Moore is one of the most commercially successful documentary filmmakers of the past decade, certainly.  Frankly?  The Academy of Motion Picture Arts isn’t impressed.  They don’t care that Moore’s latest accomplishment, Capitalism:  A Love Story,  made $14M at the box office which is a huge amount for a documentary.

The short list of films is determined by a committee of members of the academy’s documentary branch. They watch all eligible contenders and vote for their favorites by secret ballot. The top vote-getters make the short list of potential nominees.

The selections this year are “The Beaches of Agnes,” “Burma VJ,” “The Cove,” “Every Little Step,” “Facing Ali,” “Food, Inc.,” “Garbage Dreams,” “Living in Emergency: Stories of Doctors Without Borders,” “The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers,” “Mugabe and the White African,” “Sergio,” “Soundtrack for a Revolution,” “Under Our Skin,” “Valentino The Last Emperor” and “Which Way Home.”

Aw, Michael.  It look like you were just a bit too controversial and now the little designer raisin better known as Valentino is going to snag the coveted award that shoulda been yours.

Man, it’s been awhile since I’ve ranted about my least favorite human rapist on the planet. But Joe Francis is putting Nic Cage’s tax issues to shame — he owes the IRS approximately $34 MILLION for back taxes from 2001, 2002 and 2003.

The Federal Tax Lien doc was filed today. The IRS claims Joe owes the money for 3 years of back taxes — 2001, 2002 and 2003. In 2001, the IRS says Joe didn’t pay $17,658,358. In 2002, the delinquency is $11,238,582.14, and in 2003, he owes $4,922,147.

It was less than 2 weeks ago that Joe got out of a sticky federal tax evasion case by copping a plea and avoiding prison.

Joe told TMZ, “I have no idea what it is.” He says he does not owe the money and, “This is total retaliation for me beating them in court.” Joe says the law the IRS is using hasn’t been used against anyone in 20 years.

Joe says yesterday, the feds seized more than $100,000,000 in cash accounts of his.

Joe says the IRS is forcing him to file for personal bankruptcy, which he will do tomorrow.

Let’s clarify that final number there: The IRS seized more than ONE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS in CASH ACCOUNTS from him. Yeah, cash accounts. This motherfucker has A HUNDRED MILLION FUCKING DOLLARS in cash right now, and meanwhile you can’t figure out how you’re gonna pay rent next month. Oh, I know: You should videotape underage girls touching each other’s naked breasts and then sell it. (Make sure you rape them first though!)

I’m sure personal bankruptcy won’t slow him down a bit — he’ll just siphon money out of his business accounts. This dude just needs to be in jail, like, forever. He obviously doesn’t believe the law applies to him in the slightest, and it’s just a matter of time before someone winds up seriously dead as a result.

50 Cent poses behind the scenes at a shoot for VitaminWater. That is all the information I have on this photo.

Don’t worry, you guys, they’re not in the hospital together. No single hospital has enough morphine for that. (Oh, wait, Nicole doesn’t have a drug problem anymore … yeeeeah.) But Amy’s still in a London hospital because her “cold medication” — God, I can’t even type this with a straight face — interacted poorly with some “other” medications she was on. Ummmm yes. When you take 32 Nyquil and 18 Vicodin, they interact poorly. That’s true, Amy. Glad we’ve cleared that up.

Nicole’s at Cedars-Sinai for pneumonia, which I kind of believe, only because she’s been missing a lot of press events lately, citing illness, and that’s unlike Nicole. I’d put the likelihood that she’s in the hospital for something more interesting than pneumonia at about 30%. Her rep says she’s “doing well.”

OK then. Get well, everybody, no matter why you’re sick. Pics are of Nicole at a March of Dimes event earlier this month.

I’ve had a weird fascination with Courtenay Semel ever since she was on that random TV show where they made spoiled rich kids drive cattle. I think it has something to do with the way her first name is spelled. I just don’t think I’d be able to talk to her without being all like, “Heeeeey, Court-e-naaaaaay.” Also it’s a neat coincidence that the last sound there is “neigh” and she kind of looks like a horse. That was mean. Pretend I didn’t say it.

Anyway. Court’s on the cover of lesbo-riffic mag Curve this month, and what would she talk about if not her (non-) relationship with Lindsay Lohan? Oh, right, and that rehab stint earlier this year:

“I always said you’ll never see me get a DUI, you’ll never see me falling drunk out of a club, you’ll never see me get arrested, you’ll never see that side of me and unfortunately, it did happen. I did take responsibility for my actions. … But, at the same time, I think, you know, everyone scrutinizes, Lindsay for everything she went through, but they should thank her, because it shows you exactly what not to do … I would like to say that Lindsay and I would make a really hot couple, but unfortunately we were best friends and the media kind of ruined that relationship. Let’s put it this way, it’s kind of like another one of … my little frenemies out there was protecting their own self and their own relationship and threw us under the bus. But, for me, it was like, I would go to an event and they would start to say, ‘So you and Lindsay aren’t friends anymore,’ and I’m like, ‘Oh, really? That’s news to me.’”

Ummmm, is that Courtenay Semel accusing Samantha Ronson of planting rumors in the press? That’s sure what it sounds like to me.

My Lord, I’m so glad I’m not famous. These people are terrible.

More pics of the twosome in happier days (late 2007-ish) are in the gallery.