Oh, Tila Tequila, you precious skank. I love you so much. Your late night Twitter rambles that read like the diary of that chick Christy on Intervention, your insistence that you are an intelligent business woman with a whole lotta savvy…. hell, even those skunky highlights are endearing to me, you adorable little chunk of trailer trash. Well, last night you made Christmas come early for me and boy oh boy do I feel like I woke up to the grown up equivalent of a Barbie PowerWheels car.

After the jump are two stills from Tila’s livestream last night that were forwarded to me by Wendie and it’s not just the usual peep show we all look forward to (ahem. Sarcasm.) Miss Tequila must have forgotten that it was that time of the month, because right between those two toned butt cheeks was one very white, very noticeable, very undeniable TAMPON STRING.

Look, I ain’t making fun of the girl for having her period. Overshare: I have mine right now. I too have a tampon in RIGHT AS I TYPE THIS. However, you will notice one difference between the Tila and the rest of the world: When you’ve got a tampon in, keep your panties ON. And most definitely do not broadcast that ish on the interweberoonies where everyone in the world can see your damn string.

And before we catch flack for posting these insensitively: this is not like when Britney had that period stain on her panties and was caught by the paps. This is not some woman being taken advantage of and being exploited for what happens to her naturally. This is Tila Tequila, spreading ‘em on a live stream when she knows she has a tampon in.

The pictures below are NSFW or NSFAnywhere, so you’ve been warned. They’re after the jump:

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Remember like a billion years ago when we asked you guys to send us your very best proposal stories to win a trip to Las Vegas or Napa? It was a contest we were running to celebrate the release of The Proposal on DVD, but it didn’t feel like work — we had such a fantastic time reading all the entries and laughing our asses off. I don’t think we got even a single entry that wasn’t either funny or interesting or just bizarre.

We’re a little late on announcing the winner; the process got a bit derailed when everyone in the office had the flu for like two weeks. But we read every single entry, and we discussed, and we voted, and we are SO EXCITED about our winner, Liz from North Carolina.

Here’s Liz’s entry, which we thought was funny and touching and definitely unique:

My boyfriend came over to my apartment while I was outside walking the dog. I wasn’t expecting him, so I ran up and hugged him. He didn’t hug me back and wouldn’t look me in the eyes. I asked him what was wrong and he said “I need to talk to you about something; I wrote you a letter to explain everything.” He had once tried to break up with me in a letter, so I was furious. I ran upstairs and he gave me an envelope. I opened it, cursing him “You fucking asshole, we have been together forever and now you’re breaking up with me?!” It was a swirly lettered card that said “Congratulations on Your Engagement.” I was confused. On the inside of the card, my boyfriend had written “That is, if you say yes.” I looked up from my angry tears to see that my husband was kneeling down on one knee with a ring. I realized what was happening. I started to cry even more and I said, “Yes, you asshole!!!” and beat him with the engagement card. I later asked him why he would propose to me in such a completely unromantic way, and he said “Well, you knew I was probably going to propose soon, and I wanted to make sure you were surprised.”

Congratulations to Liz and her husband!! We can’t wait to hear all about your trip! Make sure to send pics!!!

Ed and I had so much fun making a video for you last week that we decided to do it again this week. And every week until you stop calling me a man and Ed a lesbian in the comments section. In other words: WE’RE HERE TO STAY. Kinda. Unless Sasha fires me. Hey, Sasha. Please don’t do that. I have a chihuahua to feed. Love you, gurl. This week we’re talking about Oprah, Mariah and Levi Johnston’s dick (or lack there of).

BTW, if you want more of me or Ed you can find our Twitters here and here.

Now back to the news…

There’s no nice way for me to say this and I really don’t know or care about anything Twilight related, but K-Stew and R-Patz looked like death warmed over at the premiere of New Moon in NYC. Kristen’s dress is great and her skin is looking flawless, but both of them look worn down to bits. Their “people” should have just let them skip the event and take a nap because from the looks of it, they are in dire need of a Z session.

Super serious and very important business woman Kim Kardashian can’t help but laugh at Star Magazine‘s accusations that she got her lips and nose reduced by a size and took to her blog to say  that the whole thing is a crock. “Why would someone want smaller lips?! LOL” I wonder if she really L’d OL or if she was just saying she was L-ingOL. Man, that’s going to bug me all day.

Kim claims that the before and after pictures chosen by the rag were ones from before and after a 20-pound weight loss, so obviously her face (and the rest of her) are going to look differently. “Your face always looks different when you lose weight, plus with the contouring on my nose it gives the illusion of a thinner nose. I actually think my nose looks smaller in the first pic than it does in the second. It’s ridiculous… it’s all about the makeup and the angle from which the photo was taken!” This woman is a genius! Genius I tell you!

I’m all for plastic surgery rumors, hell, they are what keep me in business, but I have to say for once that I side with the moron with the large butt. How desperate do you have to be to take two photos that were taken months apart and in different lighting and compare them to make a story? There are much more obvious offenders than KK out there and I could read about 100 more stories on Nicole Kidman’s Frankenface before I read any more bull about what’s obviously a good make up job.

Beside, if Kim was really going to go under the knife, wouldn’t there be a “very special Keeping Up With the Kardashians” two-parter? I’m thinking there would be. These dolls can barely take a dump without having the whole thing filmed.

I wasn’t aware that the Jamiroquai look was back, but what the hell do I know? Last night at LAX, Victoria Beckham strolled out wearing a hat that looks kind of familiar. I think maybe the last time I saw someone wearing a hat like that I was sitting on the living room floor doing my 8th grade math homework. Yes, yes it was. I was watching this music video. Posh, I’d like to thank you and your stupid hat for getting this song stuck in my head for the next 24 hours.