I thought this was a rule that applied to pets and owners looking alike, but is it my imagination or has Jennifer Lopez inherited Marc Anthony’s bone structure?  Lopez was just one of many celebs who posed for a portrait at last night’s American Music Awards.

Carrie Underwood channeled Angie Dickinson, Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman are still in love, Rihanna opted for wallpaper in lieu of a dress, Val Kilmer got fat and Paula Abdul looked stoned for a change.  The worst dressed of the evening?  Kelly Clarkson.  Kelly, for the love of God and all that is good in this green world, please get a stylist.

Adam Lambert has obviously decided that his angle for securing water cooler conversation status is to be “scandalous.”  Listen, I don’t care if Adam wants to parade around stage, forcing men’s mouths to his crotch or giving some chick a simulated fisting on live television.  I survived Madonna’s Sex book — remember?

You know what I do find offensive?  Adam Lambert singing outside the confines of a recording studio that can control the racket that comes out of his mouth.  Seriously, props to Adam for singing live and not Britneying it at the American Music Awards last night, but in the immortal words of my favorite American Idol judge, “That was a little pitchy for me, man.”

This news officially broke on Friday, but I think it’s still worth a mention: Seal has a last name and Heidi Klum has legally filed to take it.

OK, maybe I shouldn’t deliver the news in the order that it registers in my brain. Let’s try again: Heidi Klum, who has been hitched to the singer known only as “Seal” for over four years has never officially taken his last name. Now, I would assume that the delay in taking her hubby’s name was due to the fact that she didn’t even realize he has one (he does. It’s Samuel.), but Heidi claimed on her paperwork that there was only one reason she was changing her name: “Marriage.”

Perhaps she didn’t want to get all personal on her public court documents, but I’m thinking that her legally taking on his last name has to do with a few things: a renewed commitment to their marriage, a celebration of their newest child, and hell, maybe there’s even something having to do with a joint checking account involved.

Heidi’s rep did not comment on whether or not the model would be taking on “Samuel” as her professional name as well, but I’m guessing she’s going to stick with Klum when it comes down to the Project Runway credits.

Well, that New Moon crap opened up this weekend and everyone’s seeing it/talking about it/talking about seeing it. I sat with a group of 20-somethings over a business brunch just an hour or so ago and all we talked about is mother freaking vampires and I’m just sitting there like “Did anyone have sex this weekend? Where’s my bacon? Are there any movies out without fantastical creatures in them, because I’m about to kill myself if I have to hear one more word about werewolves and vampires. Seriously. You see this butter knife? I am a woman on the edge. I could cause some serious damage, you guys.”

There’s an US Weekly headline up right now that says the following: “New Moon Has Third-Biggest Opening Weekend in Film History”. That’s supposed to be impressive and show all of us what a hugely popular franchise it is, I suppose. Maybe it really is just that popular. But here’s a fun tip: That movie played in every theater in America this weekend, and the number of screens a movie plays on is a huge factor in how much it brings in at the box office. Any time a movie “like this” comes out it sets records because if you live in Bumbleboo, Indiana, that’s the only movie that’s out in your theater right now.

Perhaps it’s just my complete and utter hatred for all things fantasy that’s making me want to blow away the smoke and smash the mirrors, but I’m hearing this movie sucks. I can’t believe that I’m going to have to hear about Twilight and Twilight-related things for the next year or two of my life. Harry Potter? He was fine. I’ll take Harry. Delightful boy.

I will tell you this, though: I, much like Sasha, would kidnap that 17 year old Taylor Lautner and keep him in my apartment until he is of legal age for me to do terrible things to him.

Last night CNN hosted their Heroes 2009 gala and just about everyone you could think of was in attendance. In fact, it’s easier to think of who wasn’t there than who was there. Britney, Paris, Lindsay… I guess they must be totally over because they were no shows. What about our tampon-tease Tila? Where was she? Surely she is a hero of sorts. Who did make it? The Rock, Carrie Underwood, AnnaLynne McCord who seems to be absolutely everywhere these days. Check out the photos below and let me know in the comments who you think was the best dressed and most deserving to be there. I know my hero, the electric (you heard me! Electric!) Debi Mazar was there, looking fierce as hell per usual.

“It’s meant the world to us. We know that we have a community. We know that we have friends. And we know that we are loved. We appreciate it. Jett appreciates it. We love you, Ocala.”

– John Travolta, in a touching speech to the town of Ocala, Florida before the premiere of his new flick, Old Dogs. John and the rest of the Travolta clan have remained more or less private since the shocking death of their son, Jett, and have been finding refuge in the small Florida town that John considers to be an adopted hometown.