My mother watched Taylor Swift on SNL this weekend. Then she called me and was like, “I watched that Taylor Swift girl on Saturday Night Live. I don’t understand what the big deal is. I wasn’t impressed.”
I am no longer on speaking terms with my mother.
Because Taylor Swift is hands-down the greatest person in the world, and I am going to adopt her as my little sister and then we are going to be best friends and do everything together and she will write songs about me titled things like “Sisterhood: A Love Story” and “My Heart Beets for You, Adoptive Sister” and I will come with her to all her awards shows. And she will dedicate awards to me, because we are best friends. Anyway. On Wednesday, Taylor became the youngest artist ever to win the coveted title of Entertainer of the Year at the Country Music Awards. She also claimed awards for Female Vocalist of the Year, Music Video of the Year for her song “Love Story” and Album of the Year with “Fearless.” WOW. Rock on, Tay-Tay. You deserve it. Also: Who the fuck are the Jonas Brothers, again?
“I want to thank every single person here tonight for not running up on stage during this speech,” she said when picking up her trophy for female vocalist.
ZOMG. Love her so much. LOVE YOU, TAYLOR! Just one little criticism: You’re getting too damn thin!! Eat something, girlie!
Also there: A brunette Kellie Pickler, Carrie Underwood, Faith Hill and Tim McGraw, Nicole Kidman, her two breasts and that guy she’s married to, and LeAnn Rimes, who looks just terrible and inexplicably managed to get mascara on her teeth, I think.