It might be painfully obvious to some of you, but I had to check the caption twice, and still didn’t believe it.

I’m not the only one who doesn’t recognize her. Just for shits and giggles, I ran a picture of this person through the celebrity look-alike finder at Myheritage.com. It came up with Joel Madden, Jason Lee, and L.L. Cool J.

If you need some help identifying her, you can peek at the gallery… or at the tags for this post.

Victoria’s Secret held the first of its “national model searches” at Yankee Stadium today. Thankfully, unlike the last major open casting call for models that took place in NYC, this time there were no stampedes, and no “bitches pissing in cups.”

If you are at least 5’8″, are reasonably good-looking, and can put one foot in front of the other without thinking too hard about it,  you too have a chance to walk around in a room full of strangers in your bikini while news outlets take pictures of you. Sounds fun, right? (You couldn’t pay me enough money.)

Once all the finalists have been chosen, the public will get a chance to vote for their favorite on the Victoria’s Secret website. The winner of the search will don a pair of wings and walk the runway with the other angels during the Victoria’s Secret fashion show in December.

Pop quiz time!

1. Which beautiful size 4 contestant will get cut for being “too fat?”

2. Which contestants need to get down and nasty with a couple of half-pound burritos, like NOW?

Answer both of these questions correctly and you’ll win self-respect and a healthy body image. Congratulations!

Gwen Stefani turns 40 today, and it’s too soon. If Gwen Stefani is 40, then I am no longer in the present progressive tense of misspending my youth, I’ve done spent that shit and am moving solidly into purchasing a pair of love handles for my middle age.

I am shamed by Gwen. Chances are, you are too. Not only has she already accomplished more in her life than most people who’ve been on this planet twice as long, she looks better than I did at half her age. Look at those abs, people! I could exfoliate my face on them!

Gwen celebrated with hubby Gavin Rossdale and her impossibly adorable kids, Zuma and Kingston at Cecconi’s Restaurant in West Hollywood today. Happy birthday Gwen, you fabulous badass for whom age is nothing but an empty number to be sneered at, shanked, and punched in the face.

And happy birthday to my sister, Heather, who also has a son named for a capital city. She turns an age today that I’m not sure she’d want me to say, so I won’t. Love you sis!

“It is just weird. It is a woman. With a woman’s smell – soft and floral-y – and maybe the pheromones are different. Something about it felt uncomfortable for me…When you are done with the scene, you just think, ‘Oh God, I can do anything.’”

–Jennifer’s Body co-star Amanda Seyfried tells Britain’s InStyle magazine about doing girl-on-girl scenes with Megan Fox.

Ashley Jewell, also known as A.J. the ex-fiance of Real Houswives of Atlanta cast member Kandi Burruss, was killed in a fight in the parking lot of an Atlanta strip club last night. Police aren’t saying what the fight was about, just that he was “involved in an altercation and struck in the head” by a man named Fredrick Richardson. Richardson has been arrested and charged with voluntary manslaughter.

Kandi took to her Twitter account early this morning to express her despair:

I’m about to give my swollen eyes some rest now. I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for their prayers. I gotta get up and go to my uncle’s funeral. I could never in a million years imagine this happening. Please pray for AJ’s children. That’s who I’m the most concerned for. I’m just in one of those moods where i don’t wanna talk, I don’t wanna be held and told it’s gonna be ok. I just wanna cry myself to sleep, alone.

The second season of Real Housewives of Atlanta followed Kandi and A.J. as they planned their wedding and attempted to raise their collective seven children. Six of those kids are A.J.’s children- six children who are now without a dad.

Lindsay Lohan was in Singapore to host the F1 rocks concert last weekend. The Singaporeans didn’t think too much of the poor singer (see what I did there?) and booed her when she appeared on stage to make an announcement.

I know that Lindsay has her issues, and I am by no means a huge fan. But even I wouldn’t boo her if she appeared on stage to make an announcement about a sponsor.  I mean, it’s not like she was forcing her music on them, she was just plugging LG.