The Real World is filming in Washington DC right now and as always, stories are popping up left and right in local news about the cast. However, the most recent news out of the house is more about production than the actual castmates.
Apparently people who went to a recent “Put Your Best Foot Forward” dating event in Washington, DC were asked to sign a waiver, as I guess some members of the cast where there. There were a couple of stipulations: 1) You couldn’t be a union actor (or else they would have had to pay them a SAG or AFTRA fee to use their image or likeness) and 2) You had to be OK possibly getting an STD if you decided to have sex with any of the castmates. Ummm, what?
This clause makes sense. The Real World has always been one of the first shows to represent differences in humanity that are hot button topics at the time, whether that be someone with AIDS or a transgendered person, so I’m sure they don’t screen their cast for STDs. Secondly, anyone who would bone anyone in The Real World house has to be the kind of idiot who would follow up with a lawsuit when they discovered it was impossible to urinate without a burning sensation. The new clause reads as follows:
“IF I CHOOSE TO ENGAGE IN CONSENSUAL SEXUAL BEHAVIOR OR INTIMATE CONTACT WITH ANY SUCH PERSON I DO SO VOLUNTARILY AND KNOWINGLY AND I ASSUME THE RISK THAT BY ENGAGING IN SUCH ACTIVITY I MAY CONTRACT CERTAIN SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES. PRODUCER MAKES NO WARRANTY OR REPRESENTATION THAT ANY SUCH PERSON IS STD FREE.”
Well, there ya go. The entire contract, which can be read below, is an interesting and for the most part is the standard for reality TV waivers. Now I wonder if this whole STD thing is just a precautionary measure or if there’s actually someone with an explosive case of the herp in the DC house…
Damn! Is there a couple of birthdays in the house or is Jon Gosselin the best dad since Reverend Run, fool!?! Check it: Cara and Madelyn had a birthday that needed celebratin’, and J.G. came correct by rolling up with some bomb-ass cake and some fly-ass cards fresh from the rack at the UPS store. But don’t think our boy’s gone soft. Awwww, hell no! MC Johnny G was seen smoking cigs and pimp walkin’ all over NYC while he ran errands, yo. And not just that, he picked dem bitches up from school! Holla!
Well, here we mother fucking go again. The family that freaks me out more than anything, The Duggars, are continuing to expand at a rapid rate. The oldest son of Jim Bob and Michelle, Josh and his wife Anna have welcomed their first baby Mackynzie Renée Duggar, in to the world. And don’t forget that Michelle Duggar is pregnant right now too, so it’s gonna be one of those situations where little Mackynzie has an aunt or an uncle that’s younger than her. Those are always fun.
Josh, who I am pretty sure just got married so he could see what sex feels like, and his wife Anna delivered the baby at home with a midwife and a doula and according to a family friend, “Josh was excited to participate in the birth as well.” I mean, do these people not have access to television? Is that the problem?
What the fuck is that supposed to be, Emmy? An imaginary wedding dress? Hey, that’s kind of inappropriate, seeing as how you just ended your secret marriage. And you’re only 23. That’s sad. And you’re already out and about attending stupid ballet events with MY FUTURE HUSBAND. Grrrr. I am very, very upset about this. We are ENEMIES now, Emmy. You are Emmy the Enemy. You are my emmy-me. You are my n-emmy-sis. You are my adversar-emmy. I DON’T FUCKING LIKE YOU. GET AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIEND YOU BITCH.
This is a clip of Paris Hilton’s guest appearance on Supernatural Thursday night. I didn’t watch the show, but I did hear that she is playing “a demon who feeds on the disorienting power of celebrity.” So, ya know, she’s playing herself, and yet somehow the performance is stilted and awkward anyway.
Nothing in this world is sacred. Marge Simpson will be appearing — naked — on the cover of Playboy in November, ostensibly because they need something equally two-dimensional to compete with Levi Johston in Playgirl. I kid, I kid. It’s to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the Simpsons, which makes me feel very old, because I remember, as a child, snubbing my nose at everyone and declaring “Don’t have a cow, man,” and sometimes I still get the urge to say it, even though Bart Simpson doesn’t even say it any more. Like when my best friend’s yelling at me because I forgot her birthday, or my boss is calling me into his office because traffic’s down, or some dude is running around my bedroom cussing because the condom broke, I just want to be like, “Sheesh, don’t have a cow, dude.” And then I remember that, at 27 years old, it is not appropriate to say that. So instead I’m like “I swear I left you a voicemail!” or “I’ll research Google’s algorithm changes!” or “I’ll totally go on the Pill tomorrow!”
What was my point here? Oh, yeah, Marge is going whole-hog naked for Playboy. She’ll have a three-page spread and data sheet in the magazine. But, don’t worry, the issue will also have an actual human Playmate inside, so that young women everywhere will have a normal female body to use as a role model. Wouldn’t want them getting insecure with Marge’s perfect cartoon curves.
Anyway. I don’t know why, but I made a poll. I think it’s funny. You can take it if you want.
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