Enjoy this moment, folks, because it won’t last long. For a brief, shining moment in time, Heidi Klum is without fetus. That’s because she gave birth to her 800th baby, a girl, on October 9. I think it’s funny that her husband is named Seal, because she has the gestation period of a whale. This woman is just perennially knocked up. Seal released the following statement on Monday night. I have added my own notes in parentheses.

It’s difficult to imagine loving another child as much as you love your existing children. [Even the all-white one?] Anyone who has a family will tell you this. [Michael Lohan would tell you he loves Lindsay most, and when Jon Gosselin drinks he admits Alexis is his favorite.] Where will one find that extra love? [Your wife has some room in her uterus now; check there.] If you love your existing children with all of your heart, how then can one possibly find more heart with which to love another? [Once again: Use uterus space instead.] On Friday, Oct. 9, 2009, at 7:46 p.m., the answer to this question came in the form of our fourth child and second daughter. [I hope you gave her a girl name.] Lou Sulola Samuel was born, and from the moment she looked into both of our eyes, it was endless love at first sight. [You did not give her a girl name.] She is beautiful beyond words and we are happy that she chose us to watch her grow over the coming years.

Congrats to the happy family. I’d celebrate by running a photo of a not-pregnant Heidi, but I’m not sure we have any.

Even though Oasis has officially split, Liam Gallagher still has some stuff to get off his chest about his brother, Noel. The tempestuous singer goes off on everything about his family/former bandmate, but especially his wardrobe choices. That would seem a little more odd if Liam didn’t also need to promote his new clothing line, Pretty Green.

“He dresses like Liz Hurley’s son,” Gallagher said. “He’s on the posh vibe. Loves a cardigan and all that. He had some of the Pretty Green gear when we were almost on speaking terms, but I don’t think he’s happy about it. A few of my mates were backstage wearing it and he was like ‘Why are you wearing that?’ And my mates were like ‘Cos you bloody can’t’. What does he know anyway? His fashion sense is massively overrated.” No need to mince words there, Liam.

Despite the petty nature of these remarks, it’s obvious that Liam is really hurting, and he told The Daily Mail that he’s “gutted” about the break up of his beloved band. “I love being in Oasis. When I’m ready, you will hear my side of the story.”

I still think they have a chance at making up and getting back together, but if not, they will remain a classic.

Just a reminder, if you haven’t submitted your marriage/commitment proposal story yet for a chance to win a FREE two-night trip to Napa or Vegas, get your submission in now to proposalcontest@gmail.com. The prize includes roundtrip airfare and hotel for two, as well as a rental car. All you have to do is bring your gambling and/or drinking money!

Here are some of my favorite submissions so far. Can you beat these? Then send in your stories so you can win the prize! Read the full rules here.

It was 1972 and I had been dating my future-ex-husband for most of our junior year of high school and into our senior year. One night, he told me he had a very important question: did I believe in pre-marital sex. I answered “no”. Then he said “In that case, do you want to get married?” Believe it or not, I did. We actually were married for 13 years before I got fed up and bailed.

And another one …

I was supposed to listen for a horse in the house, but of course couldn’t hear anything. After I yelled out, “What horse could be in my house?” Alex came “riding” into the room on a horse (a child’s toy with a horse’s head on the end of a stick), wearing a full suit of armor. I couldn’t help laughing as I thought, “What in the world would make him do something as crazy as this?” He then drew his sword (which even made sound effects), got down on one knee and said, “Sarah, I want to be your knight in shining armor. Will you be my wife?” I was caught so off-guard that I couldn’t respond right away and started to shake my head, apparently to keep from passing out. (Alex later told me that he grew more nervous by the second as he waited patiently for an answer, and at the same time watched all of the color drain from my face.) However, once I came back down to earth and realized what was happening, I nodded “yes” through lots of happy tears.

Is your proposal sweeter or funnier or just plain more interesting than these? Get it in, and get your chance at the prize.

We’re running this contest in honor of the DVD release of the Sandra Bullock flick The Proposal, which hits stores tomorrow!!!

NBC, which broadcasts Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, was none too pleased when they found out that the cast of Glee, one of the Fall’s top new shows, was set to perform in the parade. Instead of working on their own programming, the network who’s dished out a handful of semi-decent and/or completely failing programs this season asked Macy’s to please drop the act from their parade, and Macy’s surprisingly agreed to do so.

This seems like a silly move on both the department store and Macy’s parts, as both of them would benefit well from the high ratings that the extremely popular young cast would bring to the network, which will be plastered with plugs for Macy’s that morning.

As of right now, all parties involved– NBC, Macy’s and Fox– are declining comment on the ugly rumor. Here’s hoping that NBC backs down on their demands, Macy’s grows a set or that Fox puts both of them on blast for denying us all the joy of teen musical comedy on Thanksgiving morning.

Cameron Diaz behaved like a totally normally person in between shooting scenes on her new movie with Tom Cruise Wichita in Boston, MA today. She flailed about in the streets waving a toy pistol, seemed to be interpretive dancing and even held a mailbox a gunpoint. I’m tellin’ ya, either homegirl is going to get an Oscar or wind up in a psych ward after this movie because the photos coming in from set? They’re all bananas.

A flight attendant who worked on Oprah’s private jet is now suing her, claiming that she was fired over false allegations. Corrine Gehrls, says that two of Oprah’s other flight attendants, Myron Gooch and Kirby Bumpus (Bumpus happens to be Gayle King’s daughter and Oprah’s goddaughter), accused her of having sex with the pilot while all the passengers (including Oprah and King) were passed out on board after ingesting sleeping pills.

Both the pilot and Gehrls passed polygraph tests regarding the situation, but were not rehired, which seems slightly unfair to them. What would be fair? The 75,000 dollars she’s seeking from Gooch, Bumpus and Harpo Inc, Oprah’s production company.

Frankly, it sounds like Gayle’s daughter is trying to pull some weight due to a personal grudge and I wouldn’t be surprised if she made the whole thing up because she was sure it would infuriate Oprah enough to make her can both employees. What’s unfortunate is that two people, who have proven their innocence through a freakin’ lie detector test, that their names are personally and professionally marred by this accusation and that Oprah can’t see the light here, so to speak.