Christie Brinkley and her ex, Peter Cook, filed for divorce in 2006, which was finalized in 2008 and since then, the two have been battling over custody of their two kids (a ruling that Peter initially lost, although he is allowed to maintain certain levels of contact with the kids.) The reason for the divorce though, was a whopper: Peter admitted that in 2004 he cheated on Christie with one of his teenaged employees. Teenage. As in, a teenager.

This past month the two have found themselves in court again because both parties claimed that the other was breaking rules in their settlement. Cook, who sleeps with teenagers, actually had the nerve to call his ex wife out on breaking rules. I’m pretty sure that makes him a sociopath.

However, the two have finally managed to work something out that seems fair to both of them, although it hasn’t really been revealed what that is. Christie’s lawyer did release this statement, though:

“Since Mr. Cook lost the custody battle in the divorce trial, he has staged a relentless smear campaign against Ms. Brinkley. Ms. Brinkley is completely vindicated. The parties’ settlement approved by the judge today does not grant any of the requests in Peter Cook’s vindictive requests including, among others, his request for Ms. Brinkley to undergo anger management or for the appointment of a parenting coordinator.”

Hahahah! Oh, Peter Cook, bedder of teenagers, you’re hilarious! LOL! You wanted Christie Brinkley to attend anger management classes, for what? Displaying anger at the man who ruined their marriage and relationship with his children so he could get up on some underage girl? Oh, that is rich.

Here’s hoping that the kids, and Christie, are able to move on from this whole fiasco in a healthy and happy way.

Well, if you need another example of why you should never listen to your boyfriend when it comes to your career: look at January Jones. The actress, who has risen to fame over the last couple years in her role as Mrs. Draper on the hit show Mad Men, says that when she used to date Ashton Kutcher back in the day, he actually told her to give up on acting all together.

January spoke to GQ this month and the interview (in addition to a gorgeous photo spread, ’cause she’s a pretty lady like that) goes in to detail about how she let her hater (Kutcher) be her motivator. “[He] was not supportive of my acting. He was like, I don’t think you’re going to be good at this. So – f— you! He only has nice things to say now – if anything, I should thank him. Because the minute you tell me I can’t do something, that’s when I’m most motivated.”

This is why! This is exactly why you never listen to boyfriends about career advice, people! (You hear me Miley and your deleted Twitter!?!) Only you know what’s best for you and no one knows your limitations, not even you. So screw whoever is saying you’re going to fail, let them marry Demi Moore and then you go off and be fabulous. All of you!

David Letterman was just busted for feeling up one of his staffers, and one university that supplies his production company with interns isn’t taking any chances that the same will happen to their students. Quinnipiac University in Connecticut, who has a long standing relationship with the show, has released a statement assuring both the media and their student’s parents of two things: 1) Their kids won’t be molested by an aging talk show host in exchange for bringing coffee to the writers room and 2) They exist.

Of course I know Quinnipiac University, I had friends who went there. However, the statement they released today seems a slightly more geared to garnering some press for the school and bragging about their impressive intern program than anything else. I mean, I’m sure at this point Letterman has his pants double belted and if he were to mess around again, it wouldn’t be with a college intern who could possibly squeal to the tabloids. The school said this to TMZ (because all elite universities welcome an open dialogue with TMZ):

“Due to recent circumstances we will have a discussion with those in charge of placing our interns at the David Letterman show in the future.

We will diligently oversee this internship program to ensure that our interns are out of harm’s way.”

So don’t worry parents! You can feel free to send your kids to good ol’ QU now! No collegiate boobies are getting touched by celebrities on their watch!

I’m a little late on this, but hell: you can read about this twice if you have to, it’s that ridiculous: Tara Reid, perhaps the greatest con artist of our time, is posing for Playboy. We’ve seen pretty much everything she’s got after that red carpet nipple slip and numerous bikini clad shoots, there’s really not a question in my mind regarding what this woman looks like naked. Still, she somehow landed herself a Playboy spread.

In Touch broke the news and said:

In Touch can exclusively reveal that Tara Reid has stripped down to pose for the cover of an upcoming issue of Playboy magazine. The American Pie star, who underwent a botched liposuction procedure in 2004, posed entirely nude for the popular magazine at a private residence on October 7 in Santa Monica, Calif. Although Tara, 33, was a bit nervous shooting, she seemed to ease into it as the day went on. “She was a bit insecure about her body when they first started,” says an insider. “She looked great and finally got into the groove.” Tara had said in the past that she would never pose for Playboy, saying, “I know there are problems with my stomach. There are bumps on it, it’s uneven, but it’s not that bad. My stomach scars are my battle wounds.”

Aw, actually? Ya know what? That is kinda sad. A once promising actress with a budding career turns in to a big ol’ alcoholic mess and has to have the weight she gained from partying and boozing surgically removed and it ruined the only thing she thought could help her completely. Sadface.

Still, I seriously think this woman could be the Frank Abagnale of the Z-list. I mean, Playboy‘s paying her?

It makes me feel really old that I feel like I have to explain to a younger generation who Alicia Silverstone is. Like, I swear, little kids, she used to be really, really relevant, and we all thought she was going to be a big movie star with staying power, like Meryl Streep or Demi Moore, and the she proceeded to piss it all away by making a mindblowingly large number of terrible movies all in a row. It’s actually possible that she hasn’t made a single good movie since Clueless. (I am not open to the possibility that Clueless was not a good movie. As if!)

Anyhoo, Alicia’s been a vegan, like, forever, and now she has a book about it. It’s called The Kind Diet, and it’s about subsisting on really, really good weed. No I’m kidding. That’s the book Jennifer Aniston’s working on. Alicia’s book is about eating vegan, which means no dairy or meat. It’s actually a very healthy way to eat and it is much kinder to animals and the environment. I ate a pure vegan diet for awhile, and it was the best I’ve ever felt in my whole life. And then I stopped and now I have pre-diabetes and I basically have to eat meat even though it completely grosses me out when I have to do so. Even fish. But apparently I’m going to die of insulin shock if I don’t eat meat; at least that’s what the doctors say.

If you don’t feel like you can spend money on a book Alicia Silverstone wrote about anything, try picking up The China Study instead. It’s a purely scientific book (i.e. no animal rights angle) about the physical and environmental benefits of a vegan diet.

I was in the gym today, “working out,” and training next to me was a male fitness model, all big and toned and wearing, no joke, lululemon women’s hot pants. These, specifically, I think.

He was complaining to his lifting buddy: “I can’t seem to gain weight. I’ve lost ten pounds and I can’t put it back on again.”

I thought I could be of use here. “You could do what I do,” I told him. “Just eat a whole lot.”

He laughed. “Oh, sweetheart, I do,” he said. “I’m eating 3500 calories a day!”

I fake-laughed because the poor sap doesn’t understand the human body at all. “You’re obviously doing it wrong,” I explained. “What I do is eat 3500 calories of refined sugar in the evening before bed. That seems to do the trick.”

Then I told the whole gym about how I ate ice cream with peanut butter in it last night, and they hung on my every word while they ate carrots and bell peppers. Then they all went off to do fitness photo shoots and I went home to eat cookies and write a gossip blog. This is why I am single and they are all having hot sex with each other.

What is the point here?

Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise did a few laps around a track in Boston yesterday. The baby doll is winning. Also, if you go through all the photos, you can find a special prize: The one where Suri’s picking her nose on the track. That’s what I call the Evil Beet Workout!