Here’s the video for the latest John Mayer release, “Who Says,” where the angsty crooner repeatedly laments about how society doesn’t want him getting stoned every night in his home alone. I know, dude. There’s so much pressure on you, with this non-threatening, nice-guy image you’ve worked so hard to cultivate, to stay away from drugs. Your fans will be shocked to know you want to get high sometimes.

Jesuschrist, John, you’re 31 years old. Is it maybe time to give up the stoner schtick? This song is such a gimme. Like “OMG John Mayer’s new song is about how he’s sick of people telling him he can’t smoke weed. That is so badass. I’m gonna go buy it on iTunes and play it while my girlfriend’s over and we’ll burn incense and candles and I’ll tell her not to give me head because I respect her too much for that, but I’ll let her know that it really does take the intimacy out of it when we use a condom. After that I’ll play ‘Your Body Is a Wonderland’ while we smoke a bowl and shower together. Then I’ll ask politely to put it in her ass.”

Seriously if you can’t find this song on iTunes under the title “Who Says” check for it under its alternate name, “Ode to a Frat Boy Douche.”

Since this video has less than 50k views I’m deeming it post-worthy. Also, the news sucks today. Can’t Tori Spelling work on having more public outbursts about her weight when I’m covering for Wendie? What’s wrong with that woman? Doesn’t she know I have a post count to fulfill?

Anyway, this video is actually pretty funny. An office (I’m not sure where, but I’m guessing by the casual wear it’s somewhere in California), decided to all turn on their webcams at the same time and lipdub to a Backstreet Boys classic. The results are hilarious, and I can’t help but wonder if I’m the only one who thinks there’s massive amounts of sexual tension going on between these folks. I’d bet that the dude in the plaid and the blond chick have gotten shwasted off egg nog and done naughty things on the copy machine at more than one company party. Kinda makes me wish I worked at an office instead of at the computer desk in my apartment, covered in my own filth and chihuahua hair. Kinda.

Image via TMZ

Randy Quaid’s wife Evi seriously needs to hit up the old Merriam-Webster before she tries to publicly insult the cop that arrested her and her husband last month again.

Evi had this hand-painted sign put in front of her house today that declares her arresting officer to be a DUI. As if that didn’t make little sense on its own, what does she say DUI stands for in this case? Deputy with Underrated Intelligence. Ummm? Isn’t that saying that he’s smarter than we all think he is?

The officer accused of being a DUI, James Davis, is none too happy about these  ”I don’t know where all this is gonna go, but it’s got me very angry.”

Messing with your arresting officer, Evi? What an overrated idea.

Amy Winehouse and a girlfriend walked around London last night and you couldn’t notice a few things about her look: 1) She’s got a big ol’ wet stain in the same place she’s always got wet stains, 2) She was rocking a new set of knockers and 3) Her shirt had her ex-husband’s name on it and the proclamation that she was his “girl”. The singer, who seems to be shaping up her act quite a bit, is rumored to have just boosted the size of her breasts from a B-cup to a D-cup and although the results don’t seem too visible here, she supposedly burst one of her new boobies on stage the other night. Or she thought she did anyway, because she returned to the hospital that performed the surgery for an overnight stay. The gallery below has tons of photos that will help you determine whether or not the augmentation story is true and lots of proof that if Amy is cleaning herself up, she’s still got a lot of work to do.

Today Forbes released their list of the highest paid women in primetime and I’m sure that more than one of the names will completely shock you. Tyra Banks took first place with her America’s Next Top Model hosting gig (making over $30 million in a twelve month period), and was followed by the Snow Princess herself, Katherine Heigl, whose earnings will also shock you. The complete list is here:

1. Tyra Banks: $30 million
2. Katherine Heigl: $18 million
3. Marg Helgenberger: $9.5 million
4. Eva Longoria: $9 million
5. Mariska Hargitay: $8.5 million
6. Julia Louis-Dreyfus: $8 million
7. Maura Tierney: $8 million
8. Tina Fey: $7 million
9. Marcia Cross: $6.2 million
10. Jennifer Love Hewitt & Ellen Pompeo (tie): $6 million

For the most part these ranking make sense, except for Tina Fey’s #8 spot, as she also writes and produces her hit show 30 Rock. Also, Jennifer Love Hewitt can still rack in 6 million a season for a TV show? Who knew? Do people still care about her? I was unaware. I’m also a bit surprised that a Seinfeld alum like JLD isn’t worth more than Heigl, who beside being a complete brat on and off the set of Grey’s, only makes crappy romantic comedies these days.

“I completely understand NBC’s position, and look forward to seeing a Jay Leno float.”

- Glee creator Ryan Murphy comments on NBC having the Glee kids kicked off of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade roster.

Awwww, SNAP!