Carrie Prejean, fallen beauty queen, decided to sue the Miss California pageant as she felt she was unjustly fired even though she refused to appear at events that her job required her to attend.  Personally, I think “I don’t wanna” is a perfectly logical and acceptable excuse to not perform your job, though the courts may not see it the same way.

Well now the Miss California pageant officials are fighting back.  In a cross-complaint filed in response to Prejean’s suit, they are looking to be reimbursed the $5,200 they paid for Carrie’s breast augmentation.  Why did I think boobs cost a lot more than that?  Maybe the pageant gets some sort of frequent buyer discount.  Bargain basement boobs.

I bet Ms. Prejean is wishing that she just walked away gracefully with her free bolt-ons instead of opening up this battle that she’s sure to lose.

“I think when the stars are aligned, the time is right, and all five of us have our heads on straight and know the direction we’re going as a band, it’ll eventually happen. If not, I know we’ll be best friends forever.”

Chris Kirkpatrick, aka “The One With No Career Since 2002″, talking about the potential of an *NSYNC reunion.

My Neopets are chirping out of control at the mere thought of it.

That was a short engagement!  Nine Inch Nails frontman Trent Reznor married ex-West Indian Girl singer Mariqueen Maandig Saturday night.  The announcement was made via the only method that anything meaningful happening ever gets communicated anymore — Twitter.  Congrats to the happy couple!

It looks like Wilmer Valderrama will finally have a more lucrative gig than his current stint as the voice of Handy Manny.  He’s set to star in a Fox pilot for a series based on Dog Whisperer Cesar Millan.

There’s no title yet, and not too much in the way of details, but I guarantee you that Oprah will somehow find a way to to take credit for this show and all two of its episodes.  Because she like, discovered Millan.  And the art of “dog whispering.”  And dogs — she created dogs too.

Lindsay’s parents continue to thrust and parry at one another (all through the media, natch!) while their daughter continues her decline.  The newest in the endless volumes of Lohan-gate surround Dina.  In response to Michael’s threat to stage an intervention for LL, Dina responded in a People interview:

Dina lashed back Saturday, telling PEOPLE: “Michael Lohan needs to focus on being a parent, paying child support, of which he is six months behind, and making up for all the years he was an absentee dad. And stop going on national television talking about his children publicly.”

Daddy Lohan won’t hear any of it and plans to try for a conservatorship so that he can have control over Lindsay’s life and business dealings.  He basically thinks he’s Jamie Spears.

A source told the magazine, “”Lindsay is actively getting a restraining order, her lawyer have already been contacted.  She’s scared. This is really serious.”

You know what I find really serious?  Reports that Linds was at the club Voyeur last night, making out with Balthazar “I’m Done With Sienna Miller” Getty.

We all have our own version of what a perfect world is.  In my edition, every rom-com actress would be put on a boat and shipped out to a far and distant land where every female cast member from The Hills would greet them at the shore.  Oh, and Jon Gosselin and Octomom are married and raise their 22 kids (did I do that math right?) together in the only infrastructure that could house them all — the Staples Center.

Sure, it may sound outlandish.  And the boat would never actually arrive at it’s destination before everyone would jump overboard just to escape Julia Roberts’ braying, but here is where reality is giving me the biggest smile I’ve had since The Beautiful Life got cancelled:  Octomom actually has a crush on Jon Gosselin.  (I almost typed “crust” instead of “crush” and I think either word works.)  Radar even has her admission on film.  Oh, God … please let this happen.  Jon and Nadya Plus 22 doesn’t sound too catchy, but I think with a little bit of imagination, we could come up with something great.  Mass O’ Massengills? Octodouche?