People like to know when celebrities have babies. Maybe they’re genuinely interested in the birth of a new life. Or maybe they just want to know who’s had a kid so they’re prepared to mercilessly criticize their parenting when 5 years later someone fucks up and gives the kid an espresso. It’s like a preview of coming attractions.
The products of three sets famous zygotes splitting and reproducing exited the womb recently and were announced yesterday.
Former Olympic gymnast Shannon Miller vaulted a 7 lb baby boy, John Rocco Falconeti, out of the old uter-shoot on October 28th. The baby had good form on the dismount but couldn’t stick the landing.
Colin Farrell and his girlfriend (who can now officially be called his “baby mama”) welcomed a son, Henry Tadeusz Farrell on October 7th. This is the second kid (and the second baby mama) for Farrell, who doesn’t like to knock up the same vagina twice.
Finally, former Mets catcher Mike Piazza and his wife welcomed their second baby girl, Paulina Sophia Piazza, into the world on… August 3rd? Celebs are getting really adept at hiding their kids’ births from the media. (Either that, or no one gives a crap about Mike Piazza.) I picture Piazza squatting in front of his wife’s vagina in full gear, ready to throw the mask off if it’s a pop-up foul, but that’s just me. More likely, the doctor just pointed him at her splitting perineum and made some horrible joke about this being “the most important catch of his life.”
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I thought it’s Henryk Tadeusz Farrell not Henry..
kelly cracks me up!!! loved this post
oh god, so bad.
love you lady.
That was all kinds of funny. Nice work, Kelly!
Damn,Kelly,you can’t imagine how much I missed your posts!
Very funny! I care about Colin- he still has a thriving career. Mike Piazza on the other hand was such a disgusting example of roid rage and anger in his years in the majors. He didn’t choose to retire, he had to because he was old and nobody wanted him or at least not for the price he thinks he is worth! Hope he’s off those roids and raises his daughters to stay out of the nudie magazines.
Bla bla bla.Same actions happens…
Colin is a lucky man. He’s very good looking ( I can see why women think he’s hot), and because I saw that sex video of him and that Playmate I know he’s pretty well-endowed too.