We all have our own version of what a perfect world is. In my edition, every rom-com actress would be put on a boat and shipped out to a far and distant land where every female cast member from The Hills would greet them at the shore. Oh, and Jon Gosselin and Octomom are married and raise their 22 kids (did I do that math right?) together in the only infrastructure that could house them all — the Staples Center.
Sure, it may sound outlandish. And the boat would never actually arrive at it’s destination before everyone would jump overboard just to escape Julia Roberts’ braying, but here is where reality is giving me the biggest smile I’ve had since The Beautiful Life got cancelled: Octomom actually has a crush on Jon Gosselin. (I almost typed “crust” instead of “crush” and I think either word works.) Radar even has her admission on film. Oh, God … please let this happen. Jon and Nadya Plus 22 doesn’t sound too catchy, but I think with a little bit of imagination, we could come up with something great. Mass O’ Massengills? Octodouche?