“I think she (Madonna) likes shock value and she knows how to push buttons on people. I think she was sincerely in love with me and I was not in love with her. She did a lot of crazy things. I knew we had nothing in common.”

-Michael Jackson during a taped conversation with his friend Rabbi Shmuley Boteach.

Ahem. I guess this adds another element to the “tribute” that Madonna gave to the late Michael Jackson at the VMAs earlier this month. For those of you who missed her speech, it went something like this: “ME, Michael Jackson, ME ME ME, Michael, MEMEMEMEMEMEME, uh, that Jackson that’s not Janet or the other ones, ME!”

At one point or another, we’ve all seen a karaoke version of “i Will Survive” so horrible that it made us want to punch the person on the other end of the microphone, but to actually do it? Well, that’s a different story.

Apparently one patron of a karaoke bar in Connecticut on Wednesday night performed such bad rendition of a Colombian pop song, that the audience booing her during her performance didn’t feel like enough to express their displeasure. After Leidy Alcantra exited the stage, she was punched by another female patron and then several more joined in on the smack-down leaving Alcantra with a chipped tooth and several bruises. Ouch. Six women were arrested for third-degree assault, conspiracy to commit third-degree assault and breach of the peace.

That being said, I would like to thank the patrons of Fiesta Cantina in West Hollywood for tolerating the performance of Beyonce’s Ego that my gay husband and I delivered on Wednesday. How we got out of there alive is a bigger mystery to me now than ever.

“When I was 13, Mackenzie told me that she had a consensual sexual relationship with our father. This news was confusing and scary, as I lived alone with my father since I was 3, I didn’t know what to believe and it didn’t help that shortly there after Mackenzie told me it didn’t happen.”

- Bijou Phillips in a public statement regarding her sister Mackenzie Phillips’ claim that she and her father had a sexual relationship.

Juno and Jennifer’s Body writer Diablo Cody met up with Hugh Hefner yesterday to discuss the long-talked about Brian Grazer-produced biopic about the Playboy founder yesterday, according to Hefner’s Twitter. Although meetings are held all day long in Hollywood that more often than not result in nothing, it’s notable that the Cody is considering taking on such a film. The departure from her indie-comedy/horror starts (which are departures from each other in the first place) further goes to show that there’s really no telling where Cody’s career will go. The writer herself announced this week that she’s penning a movie based on the Sweet Valley High book series and said in an interview with Rolling Stone movie critic Peter Travers that even she would be confused by her career trajectory if she was not Diablo Cody herself.

So what would you think about a Hugh Hefner biopic written by Diablo Cody? Do you think that she has the star-power to elevate this kind of flick past the TV-movie-of-the-week status that one would imagine such a movie to have, or would you prefer that she make like an ankle toy and Skip It? (Yeah, that was my half-assed attempt at a Juno-ism. Give me a break, Nell Carter. It’s 2k9.)

Aaron Carter showed everyone why it sucks to be him last night at Millions of Milkshakes in West Hollywood with his Dancing With The Stars partner Karina Smirnoff. While I prefer Carter at a healthier weight than what he was rocking not too long ago, there’s something terrifying looking about this kid now. He’s pasty, his hair is out of date to the point that it’s just pathetic and he’s hasn’t quite figured out that he’s not cute enough to be wacky and wild anymore. What’s wrong with this fool?

I am totally nuts for Martha Stewart, but I think we all know homegirl emotes about as much as one of her homegrown squashes. However, Martha chose to detract a statement she made about Jessica Simpson’s loss of her maltipoo, Daisy to a coyote because she thought better of what she said. “I said that she should have been watching her dog more closely, but I feel very, very sorry for anybody that loses a pet.”

The apology likely came with Stewart learned of how hard the loss of the pup has been on Simpson, who, unlike most of her contemporaries, did not view her baby as just another accessory. The word is that Jessica is still devastated over the loss of Daisy, and while Martha’s support likely doesn’t fix the problem, I’m sure that Jessica is finding comfort in the fact that most people realize a coyote attack is typically not the owners fault.