Now that DJ AM has gone to the big discotheque in the sky, one of his friends has come forward and shared an email that Adam sent to him exactly one month after he survived last year’s plane crash:

“Man this is almost too much for me to handle right now,” Goldstein, known as DJ AM, wrote.

“I had no idea how the survivors guilt could have felt. I’m a mess though man. I just hope time will fix this depressed feeling asap,” he continued.

“I can’t go on being this miserable.”

DJ AM was clearly loved by so many people as evidenced by the huge reaction when news of his death broke.  It’s sad that he wasn’t able to get the help that he needed to work through the trauma he experienced.  In fatal events, survivor’s often feel a sense of guilt that they did something wrong that caused the death of others involved in the incident.  One of my relatives struggled with this as well as post-traumatic stress.  That shit doesn’t go away without counseling.

Sometimes life is just a fucking struggle — it’s important to reach out and ask for help and to just keep asking when it all feels overwhelming.  Rest in peace, Adam.

It’s been awhile since I’ve been able to pull out the douche-ski photo, but today it just felt right.  As you’ll remember, I posted a brief preview clip of Chris Brown offering up a whole lot of “Wow” and a little bit of selective amnesia to Larry King.  That interview will air tomorrow.  Chris Brown has released a statement indicating that when he said he didn’t remember beating up Rihanna, what he meant was that he did remember beating up Rihanna.  Seems reasonable.

“There have been reports on the Internet that I didn’t remember what happened that night with Rihanna. I want to try and set things straight. 

“That 30 seconds of the interview they used of me was taken from a one hour interview during which that same question was asked something like four or five times – and when you look at the entire interview you will see it is not representative of what I said. 

“The first four times – or however many times it was – I gave the same answer – which was that I didn’t think it was appropriate for me to talk about what happened that night. I said it was not right for me and it really wasn’t fair to Rihanna. The fifth time – or whatever it was – I just misspoke. I was asked, ‘Do you remember doing it?’ and I said, ‘No.’ 

“Of course I remember what happened. Several times during the interview, my mother said that I came to her right afterwards and told her everything. But it was and still is a blur. And yes, I still can’t believe it happened because it is not me or who I am, nor is what happened like anything I have ever done before.”

Larry King is famous for asking the same question over and over and over again.  Unfortunately, Chris Brown can never have the luxury of vaguely answering any question, even one that’s been posed repeatedly.  The public is still out for blood.  

I’m a firm believer in redemption.  If Chris Brown was honest and forthright, of course he would be worthy of a second chance.  But he keeps sticking with the “nor is what happened like anything I have ever done before” line even though the police report clearly states that he had hit Rihanna on at least two previous occasions.  He’s still not taking responsibility, he’s still not owning up and that’s why I feel like he’s a totally sac-less, creepy little Easter Bunny.  (Thank you to our commenter who came up with that!)

You’d think that people who are intelligent enough to actually hack into a major media outlet’s Twitter account would have more intelligent and well-versed Tweets to share with the world.

I went to high school with a guy named Brent. He is one of the funniest and smartest (and gayest!) peeps I’ve ever had the opportunity to get to know. (Although, in fairness — and because some of them are reading this — my high-school was pretty packed with smart, funny, talented gay men. We had an excess. And I love you all, darlings, for your Spice Girls tattoos and for your creme brulees and for always volunteering to get high with me, but mostly I love you for your wit and your charm and because you’ve all been fantastic friends through the years.)

Brent used to write poetry. Actually, it wasn’t poetry; it was a mockery of poetry. Specifically mine, I think. But he’d do the most dead-on impressions of teenage angst poetry, and I’d nearly pee myself reading them. One of the poems ended with the line “i wrote this poem in algebra” and I think I just lost it at that point. Oh and I’m pretty sure Brent and I both spent high school — and a good deal past — pining for the same guy, who was straight, maybe bi, and in the end I think Brent got farther with him than I did. Goddamn it, I haven’t thought about this in awhile, but I just realized I have to track this guy down and sleep with him so Brent doesn’t win. If you went to high school with us and you know who I’m talking about, does anyone have his contact info?

Last Brent story: He saw my breasts once (I believe, to be fair, I was trading him a peep for a cigarette because I was really classy in those days), and he was like, “Wow, you have beautiful breasts,” and then I was at his family’s house a few days later and they were all like, “Brent tells us you have stunning breasts.” When I reminded him of that story years later, he was like, “Oh, man, I’m so sorry about that, I feel awful,” and I was like, “Dude it was one of the greatest moments of my life.” And it was. My breasts finally got the public recognition they deserved — from a gay man! There is no greater triumph in this life.

We went our separate ways after high school, then we both found ourselves living in Los Angeles — Brent working in the fashion world and I on the gossip front — where I had the rare opportunity to do dinner with him and his friends, and to be reminded of what a quick-thinking, creative, articulate and hilarious person he is. He really has a unique brand of humor, and the whole point of this post is to tell you guys about what I think it probably the damn funniest perfume company website I’ve ever seen: SmellBent.com. But DAMN do those scents look amazing!

Smell Bent, Brent’s current project, is an LA-based niche perfume boutique which focuses on creative and fun fragrances. They launch today. They have scents like “Hungry Hungry Hippies,” which is described as “freshly baked pot brownies dusted with cassia over an earthy dose of finely aged patchouli. not bad for someone who hates to wear shoes.” There’s also “Incensed,” which is “omani frankincense and kenyan myrrh smoldering atop a pile of vanilla soaked woods. a truly religious experience!” And don’t forget about “Commando,” “a motley crew of animal musks rounded out with a base of tonka bean absolute. as close as it gets to wearing nothing at all.”

IT ALL SOUNDS SO YUMMY!!! Seriously I want ALL these scents, just to smell ‘em, and I can’t wait to see what else he comes up with for this line. If you don’t happen to need perfume right now yourself, remember that it makes a perfect gift! The bottles go for $20, but you can also get a bunch of samplers for $3.75 each or $15 for 5. PLUS to celebrate the launch, they’re offering free shipping throughout September.

Go check out SmellBent.com!!
Go check out SmellBent.com!!
Go check out SmellBent.com!!
Go check out SmellBent.com!!
Go check out SmellBent.com!!
Go check out SmellBent.com!!

Big news!  Michelle Duggar finally got her extended mullet cut off!  I kid, I kid.  No, Michelle Duggar is pregnant again.  This time — not kidding.  They did what any normal family would do:  They told the Today show audience right away!

It’s so funny, because Meredith Viera said the Duggar family had an announcement to make — seriously, is there any other kind of announcement other than a pregnancy announcement?  Like, as soon as Michelle Duggar says, “I have something to tell you,” whomever she is speaking to should reply, “You’re knocked up, right?”

“I was wanting pickles and the older girls were saying, ‘Mom, you only crave these at the very beginning of being pregnant, You kept it from us before, now tell us. Are you?’” Michelle says. “And I kept telling them I wasn’t. I just wanted some pickles.” 

But when she couldn’t lose weight on her diet, she became suspicious. 

“I was in Weight Watchers with Jim Bob and I wasn’t losing any weight,” she says. “I couldn’t figure it out. I was doing what I should. And the baby, who was nursing, was fussy. I kept thinking, ‘This isn’t right. She isn’t teething, she doesn’t have an ear infection. I’m not cheating on my diet, I should be losing weight.’ Then, I put two and two together and wondered if I could possibly be pregnant.” 

She took out one of two tests she had in the house and it was immediately positive. 

“I told Jim Bob and he couldn’t keep it in, he was so excited.  The kids were outside playing on a water slide and he gathered them together and had to share the news. There was all this screaming and yelling.” 

I find this amazing on so many levels.  She’s had eighteen kids — and a grandbaby due next month — and really was shocked to find out she was pregnant?  She still hasn’t figured out what causes this condition?  Longed for her number one pregnancy craving food, trouble nursing, couldn’t lose weight — what could it be?  Appendicitis, clearly.

So many questions to be answered:  Have the Duggars run out of “J” names?  Would they consider naming the baby “Justletmebethelast”?  Will this be the pregnancy that causes Michelle Duggar’s clown car uterus to finally run away screaming?  Which Duggar will be the one to go bad and revolt against the church and excessive reproduction?  My money is on Jedidiah, just because.

The father says that there was all this “screaming and yelling” when the newest pregnancy was announced.  What Rocket Sperm Duggar doesn’t tell you is that the ruckus was actually the kids shouting, “When the fuck do I get out of this factory?”

I have to give a big shout out to my cyber-friend Sarah who turned me onto the buttery goodness of this clip.  Christopher “Kid” Reid, 50% of Kid ‘n Play, is now pawning suits on the west coast.  Washed up ’80s rappers make me a little sad.

And in case you have a burning desire to know whatever happened to Christopher “Play” Martin, this is what I’ve been able to find out:  Married actress Shari Headley, divorced, born-again Christian, North Carolina Central University hip-hop dancer, fired due to budget cutbacks.