Two SNL cast members that I’ve never even heard of– Michaela Watkins and Casey Wilson– were let go this weekend when the show hired two new cast members– Jenny Slate and Nasim Pedrad– who I’ve also never heard of.

You might know Watkins for the above character, bitchpleeze.com blogger Angie Tempura, who I’ve seen in a few Youtube clips, and even posted here once for a little self-depricating goodness. I don’t know what Wilson is responsible for, since I haven’t watched SNL in years and only know of any of anything that comes out of it from videos that go viral.

The decision to let the two go came “suddenly,” and left Watkins a little taken aback, but not exactly angry:

I don’t think anyone knows what Lorne Michaels was thinking. That’s one of the exciting things about him. If he were to vanish the show would just freeze. Not a single thing would be shot because so much hinges on him.

The only explanation I got from him — and he’s not known to say things just to make people feel better — was that he felt deep down that I should have my own show. And I agreed. SNL was a dream come true for me. It was a fantastic year. I don’t have any regrets.

Jack Tweed, the widower of Big Brother reality TV star Jade Goody, has been charged with rape and remanded until  September 21st, when he will appear at Redbridge Magistrates’ Court.

Police arrested Tweed and another man in his twenties on Friday after a teenage girl reported that she had been assaulted at Tweed’s home in Woodford Green, east London. The other man arrested with Tweed has since been bailed out, but a third suspect was also arrested on Friday in connection with the case and is being held in a London jail.

Tweed has openly admitted that he’s had trouble coping with Goody’s death, drinking heavily and getting himself arrested for assaulting a taxi driver a few weeks after her passing. It’s regrettable that he is having such difficulty dealing with his wife’s death, but maybe he should shell out a couple pounds for a copy of The Grief Recovery Handbook or something. Rape is just not a good coping mechanism.

After leaving the Ozlem Suer fashion show in Paris yesterday where she walked the runway in a gorgeous black halter gown, Jessica Simpson was greeted by droves of paparazzi. While most stars have security wise enough to shield their clients with their bodies, large sheets of paper, or pretty much anything not transparent, Simpson’s security used a clear plastic rain umbrella to attempt to keep her photograph free. I hope these people were removed from their duties, as the see-through umbrella was about as helpful as a windowpane.

Christian Audigier held the launch party for his new line yesterday in Paris (of COURSE! Why wouldn’t the founder of Ed Hardy hold a party for his new line in the most fashionable city in the world? That seems completely appropriate!), and greeted the press line with some sort of mentally deficient gang symbol.

The (absolutely NSFW) video above is of “In The House” star Maia Campbell, a woman who was once an up and coming actress who showed a lot of potential. Now she is addicted to meth, prostituting herself and so out of it that she will mouth off to anyone who approaches her with a camera.

The details of her decline are not clear. It’s rumored that the father of her baby was a dope dealer who provided her with endless drugs, and once her career started slowing down, she got hooked.  Now she sleeps on Venice Beach and accepts handouts from anyone and everyone. When this footage was released yesterday I had to share it with you, not for laughs but because she serves as a cautionary tale. I don’t know how or why people start doing meth, to me it seems like you couldn’t possibly be of sane mind when agreeing to take it, but regardless Maia’s story is one to learn from.

Doesn’t matter how much Fabulosity you possess, if you park illegally in LA, you’re going to drive away with a ticket. Kimora Lee Simmons learned her lesson after the Baby Phat Queen took her baby brats on a shopping spree at West Hollywood’s Kitson store. While she was playing with toys, picking up new tops and posing with merch, Kimora’s ride was parked in a red zone out front– a big no no in Los Angeles. Upon returning to her car, the former model was issued a ticket for her illegal move, and like a true diva, instead of disputing the ticket, she held it up and used it as a prob for an impromptu photo shoot with the paps.