How could a film so brilliantly titled not take the number one spot at the theaters this holiday weekend?  Who wouldn’t want to see a flick with a plot based on Sandra Bullock traveling the country, stalking Bradley Cooper?  Apparently, you.

It actually did a lot better than I thought it would, coming in second place with $11.2M in box office coin.  The number one spot, for the second week in a row was The Final Destination with a take of $12.4M.

Other premier movies this week included Gamer which came in at fourth with $9M and the movie that I’d probably be most interested in seeing, Extract came in tenth place (of course) with sales of $4.2M

I’m pretty sure that most of you are aware of my feelings about Tila Tequila at this point.  Just based on her Twitter activity that I’ve observed, she’s carried on about having people break into her house, she said she was pregnant, she said she had to go to the hospital because she was about to pass out.  Nothing ever materializes from these statements she puts out.  

Putting that aside, I was very sad to hear about the alleged abuse she suffered over the weekend at the hands of her boyfriend, San Diego Chargers star Shawne Merriman.  Even talentless famewhores don’t deserve to suffer at the hands of another — not Tila, not even Mischa.  And though I feel she may be truth-challenged, I’d never want to turn my back on a victim, especially one brave enough to come forward.

Today, there seems to be a new angle to the story — an angle which basically equates to “It never happened.”  Merriman was released and no charges have been filed.  He released a statement through Fox News:

“On September 6, 2009 the San Diego Sheriff’s Department responded to a citizen’s complaint that was initiated by Tila Nguyen (aka Tila Tequila). I was taken into custody based upon that complaint. At the time, I was concerned about her welfare given the intoxicated state she appeared to be in and I encouraged her to stay until safe transportation could be provided.

“We would all do our best to help a friend if we considered their actions to be detrimental to their personal safety. I in no way caused any harm to Ms. Nguyen, however, paramedics were called and she was examined but no injuries were reported. She was released and has since returned to Los Angeles, California.

“There have been no charges filed against me. I want to thank the San Diego Sheriff’s Department for their professionalism. I will continue to cooperate fully with the Department, and I look forward to clearing my name regarding these false allegations. I want to put this behind me so I can continue to focus on a successful season for the San Diego Chargers.”

Tila rebutted Shawne’s version of events (through her Twitter account, natch), saying “”I am allergic to alcohol. It has been publicly known for years. That is how I got the name Tila “Tequila” cuz the irony. I cant drink.”

I don’t know who’s lying, but I hope the truth comes out in the end.  Domestic abuse is wrong on every level as is a false accusation of domestic violence.

It’s Labor Day weekend, celeb news is slow, and I’m resorting to talking about Hugh Grant’s father’s art show.  In other words:  It could be a rough one, guys.  You should also expect stories today with scintillating titles such as “Where is JM J Bullock Today?” and “Why Isn’t Joanna Kerns in All the Lifetime Movies Anymore?”

Hugh hopped across the pond Long Island Expressway to Southampton this weekend to make an appearance at his dad’s watercolor paintings exhibit.  

“I’m so proud of my Dad – he’s been painting all my life,” said Hugh Grant, 48, who was visiting his 51-year-old brother for the weekend from his home in New York. “I also come out here to play golf, since I’m a golf fanatic.”

He said his Dad comes form a long line of military officers “but he wishes he had gone to art school.”

“My Dad, who lives in London and is originally from Scotland, follows the tradition of Scottish colorists,” the leading man said. “And I really love his colors in these nature scenes.”

James Grant Sr., 81, was more modest.

“I’m only an amateur painter,” he confessed. “This is only my second exhibit, and it’s for a good cause – the Southampton Fresh Air Home, a camp for physically challenged kids.”

Hugh’s brother Jamie, had a rather sad take on his father’s artistic motivations:  ”Most of these paintings came about because when my brother and I get together, my Dad just disappears to paint, so he doesn’t have to spend time talking.”

In other, completely unrelated news that I just felt like putting up with this story even though it has absolutely, positively nothing to do with Hugh Grant:  Check out this blind item from Evil Beet reader Julia aka owner of Dipped in Cream.  Any ideas on who it could be?

Britney Spears performed in Greensboro, North Carolina on Saturday night.  This is significant for a couple of reasons:  1)  She did a cover of Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know” 2)  She sang it live — no lip-synching and 3)  She sounded really good!  

The video and audio quality isn’t tops here, but you’ll get the basic idea.  Maybe it’s time for Britney to abandon her pop tart tunes and go for some more gritty material that she can — oh, I don’t know — actually sing.  The human voice matures, and maybe it’s time for our gal Spears to step it up regarding her material selection.

I admire Brit for rising from the ashes when everyone thought she was down for the count, but I’d be pissed to go to a concert just to see her mouth some over-produced music.  This clip seems more like real performing!

Looking for something to occupy your time this Labor Day weekend? If you’re one of those people who shuns sunshine and fresh air, you could stay inside all day watching episodes of Autotune the News (above) and  following Kevin Smith as he holds a 24 hour Labor Day Tweet-a-thon. The Clerks and Chasing Amy director says fans can ask him anything on  Monday and he’ll attempt to respond.

“I wanna see if I can do it. I’ve been training for this my whole life, simply by being a lazy fat-a** who’d rather stare at a screen than better himself with a brisk constitutional. Someone asked what my training regiment is gonna be, and I told them I’ve already stockpiled lots of Count Chocula.”

If Kevin Smith just isn’t your thing, perhaps you’d consider your time more well spent by watching WWE’s Monday night RAW… hosted by Bob Barker.

Barker, who was trained in martial arts by Chuck Norris and did his own fight scene in the Adam Sandler movie Happy Gilmore, steps into the ring for the first time. He has the power to shape WWE’s flagship television program, Monday Night RAW.

Or you could, you know, go out in the backyard, get dangerously drunk and cook some meat over some fire like a normal American. I know that’s what I plan to do.  How about you?

Enjoy your three day weekend, Americans! My heart goes out to all of you who have to work tomorrow. I know it’s small comfort, but you make life enjoyable and safe for the rest of us. Thank you!

I know there are more than a few of you who’ve wished someone would smack the crap out of Tila Tequila. But I doubt any of you meant it literally.

The actress singer umm.. American citizen (it seems harsh to call her an internet fame whore when you’re writing about domestic violence) was hospitalized Sunday after an altercation with her boyfriend, San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman.

The two had been hanging out at a club all night for a friend’s birthday party and seemed in good spirits. But something went sour after they went home.

The San Diego Sheriff’s Department received a disturbance call from Tila “Tequila” Nguyen at 3:45 a.m. She told deputies she had been choked by Merriman and, when she tried to leave, he physically restrained her, a sheriff’s spokesman said.

Nguyen, 27, signed a citizen’s arrest warrant accusing the NFL linebacker of battery and false imprisonment.

Merriman is currently being held at the San Diego County jail. Tila’s rep declined to comment on her current condition.